Melton Telephone

From Blaseball Wiki

Melton Telephone is a player in the Shadows for the Yellowstone Magic, and has been with the team since Season β1.

Official League Records

Telephone joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Yellowstone Magic with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β16 elections, Telephone joined the Magic's pitching rotation in exchange for Francisco Preston as a result of the Magic's Foreshadow will.

On Season β17, Day 104, Telephone was attacked by Consumers, reducing their star total from 10.3 6.2

During the Season β18 elections, Telephone retreated to the Magic's Shadows in exchange for Eizabeth Elliott as a result of the Magic's Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 6.2 7.9 stat increase.

During the Season β21 elections, Telephone received Alternate and Negative modifications as a result of the Shadow Alternate Trust blessing, randomizing their stats.

During the Season β22 elections, Telephone lost the Negative modification as a result of the Roster Flip blessing.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Melton Telephone Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-16.812 and start reading...

Answering The Call

Melton Telephone is an upbeat, dilapidated payphone dryad. Their tree, located near the Prismatic spring, has an abandoned payphone embedded in its trunk. While dryadic, the forces that brought them to Yellowstone left them a little incomplete, filling in the rest of them with telephone parts and forest flora as needed. Long ago, a one-in-a-million flux of the Parkpark's natural arcane currents brought sentience to the combination of Park and Nature, and thus one Melton Telephone entered the world. Before joining the Magic, they spent their time tending to the Spring, often giving a stern lecture and occasional bonk on the noggin to any visitors who disrespected it by littering or otherwise harming the long-term integrity of the Spring.

One day, when Alf Merlinmeyer misdialed a call for backup, Melton answered. Charmed by the young dryad's enthusiasm, Merlinmeyer signed them to the team on the spot. Now Melton is a shy but enthusiastic rookie who loves prank calls. They look forward to being with their new teammates and experiencing the epic highs and lows of professional Blaseball!

Fan Works


Melton Telephone features in the following fics and interactive fiction:

Fan Art