Melton Telephone/IF-62.498

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Melton Telephone at their Rumor Registry.

Introduction

Melton Telephone is a tree-like payphone standing at roughly 3-7 feet tall (91-213 cm) depending on the season. Their body is mostly comprised of tree trunks and branches from various species (Douglas fir, white ash, giant sequoia, and several unknown species have been observed) while their head consists of telephone parts. Wires and cords bind these disparate elements together. Communicating with Telephone is done by picking up any phone and asking to speak to Melton Telephone. This was eventually pieced together when Telephone repeatedly mimed picking up a phone for three hours straight during a team meeting.

Telephone has previously described their home as an old phone booth with an American sycamore growing through it. Teammates, park rangers, and occasionally park visitors are often invited by Telephone to hang out there, but nobody has succeeded in locating it. When asked about this lack of directions, Telephone simply stated that everyone finds their way easily enough and the company is appreciated even if no one remembers it. The phone booth is supposedly somewhere in Yellowstone.

Career

Before joining the Magic, Telephone was an avid fan of Blaseball and regularly spectated games in Yellowstone. At one of these games, Telephone caught a home run ball. Worried they’d be thrown out for stealing, Telephone threw the ball back, throwing a perfect strike clocking in at 307 mph (494 kph). After the game, players from the Magic encouraged Telephone to try out for the team. In a few short weeks, Telephone was fully trained and ready to play.

Telephone got their chance to pitch when they were subbed in for Francisco Preston in Season β17. After helping the Magic reach the postseason, Telephone was attacked by Consumers in a game against the Hawai'i Fridays. Their performance dropped after this event and many noticed a significant decrease in the maximum height Telephone grew to. Over the course of Season β18, their bark grew soft and mossy and phone parts became noticeably rusty.

At the end of the season, Telephone requested some time off, which their teammates obviously supported. The deteriorating payphone stepped behind a nearby tree and disappeared entirely. The current whereabouts of Telephone are unknown, but Magic players are confident they will answer the call when the team needs them most.