Difference between revisions of "Kaj Statter Jr."

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{{Player
 
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| image1=Statter up babey.gif
 
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| caption1= Statter up by @realdiscordbot
  
 
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OIAEUOIAEUOIUIAIIUIAIIAEIHAAEIHAAIOOIHIOOIHI
 
OIAEUOIAEUOIUIAIIUIAIIAEIHAAEIHAAIOOIHIOOIHI
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| pronouns=Xe/xem, Sea/shore/seas
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| species=Unknown (probably human. Mostly)
 
| uuid  =72ca8ed5-a8c7-4571-9745-80de5a49b2d1
 
| uuid  =72ca8ed5-a8c7-4571-9745-80de5a49b2d1
 
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a lineup player for the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]], and has been with the team since [[Season 13]], Day 98.
 
'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a lineup player for the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]], and has been with the team since [[Season 13]], Day 98.
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==Official League Records==
 
==Official League Records==
 
Statter Jr. joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]] on [[Season 13]], Day 98 after the [[incineration]] of [[Sutton Bishop]].
 
Statter Jr. joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]] on [[Season 13]], Day 98 after the [[incineration]] of [[Sutton Bishop]].
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In Statter's first full game, [[Season 13]], day 99, they partied, stole home, and used [[Modifications|Base Instincts]] to walk to second.
  
 
During the [[Season 13#Election Results|Season 13 elections]], Statter Jr. gained the Smooth modification as a result of the [[Season 13#Blessings|'''Peanut Butter''']] blessing.
 
During the [[Season 13#Election Results|Season 13 elections]], Statter Jr. gained the Smooth modification as a result of the [[Season 13#Blessings|'''Peanut Butter''']] blessing.
  
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==History==
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{{Community Lore}}
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Much of Statter’s history is currently unknown, although xe claims to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. Xe has stated that xir family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains ‘tight-knit’. A variety of strange people have been observed cheering xem on at xir games. Despite the uncertainty, everyone queried about Statter has agreed that xe has ‘strong youngest sibling energy’. Statter often discusses xir family’s many long-standing traditions, such as ‘consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen’, and ‘sea shanties’.
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==Career with the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams|Sunbeams]]==
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After the incineration of [[Sutton Bishop]], Statter was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of [[Sutton Bishop#History|Bishop Sutton]] to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at the [[Pocket]] on [[Season 13]], Day 99, Statter made seas delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. Sea made a powerful first impression in seas first game by careening through the far wall of the Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.
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Statter quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by [[Aldon Cashmoney]], sailing them across the desert and using them in xir new Hellmouth mail delivery service. Xe became famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them xemself, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made xem a favourite of the [[Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board]]. Statter also took up studying bonecourse at the Hellmouth Community College, indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. Xe also maintains a busy calendar of social events, with xir boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.
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Initially, sea had many bouts of dehydration during games at the [[Solarium]]. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter in the game. Recently, Statter has been seen with a localised raincloud over seas head, periodically misting shore without input. This is theorised to be seas adaptation.
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==Trivia==
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* The Jr stands for <choose uncached>
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<option>Joctor. It refers to Statter’s Joctorate in Physical Jherapy</option>
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<option>Statter’s favourite excel column</option>
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<option>Jaguar</option>
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<option>Jormungandr. At least once, Kaj has stated that the Jr. In seas name stands for Jormungandr, the world-serpent of norse myth. It is said that when Jormungandr ascends from the depths it shall signal the final battle of Ragnorok. It is also said that this will release Naglfar, the boat made of the fingernails of the dead, from its moorings to carry the armies of the damned into the final battle. When later questioned about this xe claimed to not understand the interviewer, know what Jormungandr meant, or accept any connection between this and the ship made of bone and crewed by the dead, which xe is often seen sailing around the Hellmouth.</option>
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<option>January</option>
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<option>Junior. It is a reference to shore height. </option>
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<option>Jeans. They are seas favorite sort of pants. </option>
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<option>Doctor but it’s Jean Doctor. Performing doctoral duties with jeans.</option>
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<option>JEFF! (as decided by JEFF!)</option>
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<option>Just Raving</option>
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<option>Junior, but no one can track down Kaj Statter Sr.</option>
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<option>Junior, but there is no Kaj Statter Sr., rather there is another completely unrelated Kaj Statter who is ½ an inch taller</option>
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<option>Jumbo Ravioli</option>
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<option>nothing, sea just thought it sounded cool</option>
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<option>Jrunior. That’s just a part of seas name. A last last name.The last of all last names. The ultimate name. Simple.</option>
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<option>The letters they’ve stolen from other people’s names. According to Kaj, “there’s a _ordan and a Spence_ wandering around real mad at me right now.” </option>
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<option>Truth, justice, and freedom for all.</option>
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<option>Jerfolk</option>
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<option>Jovial Richard</option>
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<option>Juice</option>
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<option>Joint Replacer</option>
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<option>Jorts</option>
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<option>(no rules) Just Right</option>
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<option>Joyride</option>
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<option>Jasmine Rice</option>
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<option>Jump Rope</option>
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<option>Industrial Solvent (will not accept or comprehend that this abbreviation makes no sense)</option>
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<option>Juggler</option>
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<option>Jarl</option>
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<option>James Rond </option>
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<option>Jerboa (Rodent)</option>
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<option>Jerboa (Derogatory)</option>
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<option>Jetset Radio</option>
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<option>Japan Railways</option>
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<option>Juliet and/or Romeo</option>
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<option>Joctorpus</option>
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<option>Juror</option>
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<option>Jrainpipes</option>
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<option>Jailbreaker</option>
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<option>Jrustfundchilde</option>
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<option>Jraconteur</option>
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<option>Jrudjerry</option>
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<option>Jrijible</option>
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<option>Journalist-at-arms</option>
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<option>Jackrabbit</option>
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<option>Jolly Roger</option>
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<option>Jolly Ronchers</option>
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<option>Jrudicial Review</option>
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<option>Jreamboat</option>
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<option>Jeanut Rutter</option>
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<option>(J)Leeroy (R)Jenkins</option>
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<option>Janitor</option>
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<option>Jackhammer</option>
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<option>Jetliner</option>
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<option>Jacuzzi Radicalizer</option>
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<option>JR, as in who statted JR?</option>
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<option>Jesting Required</option>
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<option>Spurrrrrs That Jingle Jingle Jangle</option>
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<option>Jbonecourse</option>
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<option>Jabroni</option>
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<option>Jro mama</option>
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<option>Jr, pronounced yarrr </option>
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<option>Jeometry</option>
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<option>Jayden Right</option>
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<option>Jayden Rong</option>
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</choose>
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* Statter has a large collection of chewable jewellery
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* When interviewers asked Statter how xe got Aldon’s ships to move through sand, Statter was confused “What do you mean? Have you never tried  to drive a boat through the desert?” Leading to the invention of the now popular ‘sand sailing’ as both a recreational activity and Hellmouth’s primary form of transportation.
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* The original boat used by Kaj Statter Jr. to crash into the Pocket was composed entirely of bone, obtained by Statter by unknown means.
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* Statter is also known as Kaj “<choose uncached>
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<option>You’re going to tell me that I’m WRONG</option>
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<option>She came down in a bubble Doug</option>
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<option>figuratively and literally owns bones</option>
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<option>Mail Crimes</option>
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<option>Magpie</option>
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<option>Cause Problems on Purpose</option>
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<option>Why did they call it ‘stealing bases’ if they didn’t want me to keep them</option>
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<option>Sunscreen is a con by Big Sun</option>
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<option>Only oil tycoons use half-and-half in their cereal</option>
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<option>Try nailing it down next time</option>
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<option>The sun is actually the size of a quarter</option>
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<option>Boat whisperer</option>
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<option>It has been _ days since Kaj last stole the numbers off this sign</option>
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<option>Party Rockin’</option>
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<option>It’s party rock is</option>
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<option>Wicked Witch of the East, Bro</option>
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<option>Everyone follows the account for me anyway, max</option>
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<option>Chuck E. Cheese isn’t a restaurant</option>
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<option>Bluzz Aldrin and Neil Armslong are married and the moon landing was their wedding</option>
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<option>Sand isn’t real</option>
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<option>Actually, the endoplasmic reticulum is the powerhouse of the cell</option>
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<option>But why not peanut margarine?</option>
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<option>Stat man</option>
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<option>Strat man</option>
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<option>Stlat man</option>
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<option>Crime Starter</option>
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<option>Kobra Kaj</option>
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<option>I have never before seen a blaseball in my life and I'm not starting now</option>
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<option>The Pies are the Spies in disguise</option>
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<option>What is a background check</option>
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<option>NICE BOAT</option>
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<option>Solve Problems on Accident</option>
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<option>Your mail? More like our mail</option>
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<option>I’ve arrived, now your goose is cooked! Wait, oh gods-- oh no</option>
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<option>Discourse</option>
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<option>Pineapple pizza is good, actually</option>
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<option>Stlar Wlars is overrated</option>
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<option>I think dogs should vote</option>
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<option>Dab on the haters</option>
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<option>Dance Dance Revolution God</option>
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<option>Best ‘Beam Evah!</option>
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<option>100 gecs is unironically good, guys</option>
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<option>Okay I lied sand is real but it’s just dry water.</option>
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<option>What do you mean I can’t use a boat on land?</option>
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<option>Ask me about bones!</option>
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<option>Wrote the book on Bonecourse</option>
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<option>Jeometry</option>
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<option>Kaj Statter Jr.</option>
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<option>Definitely not a Party Vampire</option>
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<option>Work hard, play hard</option>
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<option>We're probably related, somehow</option>
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<option>I was here when the immaterial plane was young</option>
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<option>Anyone remember where I parked my galleon?</option>
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<option>One time I ate sand, it tasted like sand</option>
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</choose>” Statter Jr.
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==Fan Works==
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<gallery widths="195" mode="nolines">
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File:Youre going to tell me im WRONG.png|Statter by [https://twitter.com/marcheriest @marcheriest]
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File:Kaj by olive.png|Statter design by [https://twitter.com/sapphriarocks @sapphriarocks]
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File:Statter up babey.gif|Statter up by @realdiscordbot
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File:Kaj by wade.png|Statter by [https://twitter.com/wadecharade @wadecharade]
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</gallery>
  
 
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Revision as of 21:00, 16 March 2021

Kaj Statter Jr. is a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams, and has been with the team since Season 13, Day 98.

Official League Records

Statter Jr. joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams on Season 13, Day 98 after the incineration of Sutton Bishop.

In Statter's first full game, Season 13, day 99, they partied, stole home, and used Base Instincts to walk to second.

During the Season 13 elections, Statter Jr. gained the Smooth modification as a result of the Peanut Butter blessing.

History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Much of Statter’s history is currently unknown, although xe claims to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. Xe has stated that xir family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains ‘tight-knit’. A variety of strange people have been observed cheering xem on at xir games. Despite the uncertainty, everyone queried about Statter has agreed that xe has ‘strong youngest sibling energy’. Statter often discusses xir family’s many long-standing traditions, such as ‘consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen’, and ‘sea shanties’.

Career with the Sunbeams

After the incineration of Sutton Bishop, Statter was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of Bishop Sutton to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at the Pocket on Season 13, Day 99, Statter made seas delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. Sea made a powerful first impression in seas first game by careening through the far wall of the Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.

Statter quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by Aldon Cashmoney, sailing them across the desert and using them in xir new Hellmouth mail delivery service. Xe became famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them xemself, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made xem a favourite of the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board. Statter also took up studying bonecourse at the Hellmouth Community College, indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. Xe also maintains a busy calendar of social events, with xir boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.

Initially, sea had many bouts of dehydration during games at the Solarium. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter in the game. Recently, Statter has been seen with a localised raincloud over seas head, periodically misting shore without input. This is theorised to be seas adaptation.

Trivia

  • The Jr stands for Statter’s favourite excel column
  • Statter has a large collection of chewable jewellery
  • When interviewers asked Statter how xe got Aldon’s ships to move through sand, Statter was confused “What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?” Leading to the invention of the now popular ‘sand sailing’ as both a recreational activity and Hellmouth’s primary form of transportation.
  • The original boat used by Kaj Statter Jr. to crash into the Pocket was composed entirely of bone, obtained by Statter by unknown means.
  • Statter is also known as Kaj “Work hard, play hard” Statter Jr.

Fan Works


Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams 🌞
Players Batters
Pitchers
Shadows
  • None
BuriedBoudicca Midcentury · Doc Anice
Former · Full List
Stats Season1
Betaβ1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24
CircuitGamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4
Ballpark Lower Moab Scenic Overlook Field
Community Lore
Staff Sol  ·  Monsieur Beam  ·  JEFF!  ·  Dead Tom  ·  The Man Who Owns All the Teeth  ·  Priya Fox  ·  Determination Montgomery
Places Hellmouth  ·  Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board  ·  Shadow Moabbey  ·  Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café  ·  Arches National Plark
History Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams' History  ·  The Solympic Flame  ·  Adaptation  ·  HELIOLATRY  ·  Cuisine of Hellmouth
Fan Culture 📣   ·   Fan Works 💌   ·   Tlopps Cards 🃏
Stare Into the Sun...


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