Shadow Moabbey

Shadow Moabbey
Shadow Moabbey trail map
Level	59
Location	Haystack Mountain, Utah

The Shadow Moabbey is an in-universe description of the Hellmouth Sunbeams' Shadows, created by community lore.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Shadow Moabbey is a Heliolatric monastery located on Haystack Mountain in the La Sal mountain range in eastern Utah, roughly 18 miles (28.9 km) east of the Hellmouth. It is home to the Order of Lanternbearers, a distant branch of the Heliolatric cults whose monastic practice has largely revolved around the Hellmouth Sunbeams since the long-foretold return of Blaseball. It is thought to be one of the very first settlements founded in the state of Utah, as some tellings of its origin predate the arrival of the first Native American settlers by several centuries.

History

The Shadow Moabbey was allegedly established in XX34 BCE by the original Order of Lanternbearers, a nomadic group of sun-worshipping monks. After discovering the eldrich Smoothie Tree known as Smoothyggdrasil and initiating Them into the Order, the monks established a small settlement on the western edge of the La Sal Mountains. The monks and their descendants have spent centuries cultivating smoothes and brewing palatable beer in the remote mountain range, but have remained largely unnoticed until their recent involvement with local splorts.

The main place of sun-worship, the Moabbey itself, was first constructed near Oowah lake, a small pond near the head of Old Mill Creek. No visual record remains of this original building, but according to Smoothyggdrasil, it was "perhaps the single most magnificent monument to The Sun in all of Utah, and its loss is still mourned throughout the immaterial plane." Most historical accounts agree that the first Moabbey was irretrievably lost in the Great Smoothie Disaster of 1XX8, thought by some to be the Lunar Apologists' first act of Treason, and the reason they split from the conventional cults of Heliolatry. On several occasions since, the smoothie tree has attempted to describe the original moabbey's blinding opulence, but artists' renditions of the building have on all occasions resembled ██████████████, █████████, and occasionally ██████. The last recorded sketch, created in 2XX9, featured an eerily realistic █████████, leading the monks to suspend this practice indefinitely.

After a brief nomadic hiatus, the monks constructed a new abbey in 2XXX, nestled on the northern face of Haystack Mountain. The new location, while somewhat more treacherous, brought the monks closer to the sun and offered a spectacular view of the deserts of southeastern Utah. In addition to this new Moabbey, there remain several associated dormitories, tree forts, and farmhouses throughout the La Sals, most of which were constructed during the Lanternbearers' original settlement of the area.

The monastery can be accessed via several hiking paths and mountain roads originating near the town of Hellmouth, including the world-famous "Whole Enchilada" mountain bike trail. Most Hellmouth residents and Sunbeams players use the Mill Creek Hiking Trail to ascend to the monastery at the end of each season, then travel back to Hellmouth via the Whole Enchilada in a several-day pilgrimage known as "Big Hikey."

Monastic Practice

Following the opening of the Forbidden Book in July of 2020 and the subsequent horrors inflicted upon the Sunbeams' home turf, the team's management contacted the Shadow Moabbey for assistance in training their rookie players. After a few minutes of amicable negotiations, the monks agreed to help prepare rookies for the harsh conditions of the Hellmouth in exchange for unfettered access to its wretched, unknowable depths. The Order has since learned to harness the ancient powers of the Hellmouth (and the Sunbeams' rookies) to grow the ingredients needed for their infamous smoothies, which they have agreed to provide to the Solarium's food court. The monks have also developed a significantly more palatable recipe for their beer, which they have agreed to keep out of the Solarium's food court at all costs. In turn, the rookies, during their many labors in service to the abbey, acquire many of the skills essential to their success on the Sunbeams' starting lineup. These include:

• Sun worship
• Manuscript illumination
• Traversal of steep, mountainous terrain
• Map-and-compass navigation
• Several fermentation disciplines
• Meditation and breath control
• Advanced survival techniques
• Extreme smoothie tolerance

The Sunbeams sometimes make the trek up the Mill Creek hiking trail to visit the Moabbey after home games, where the monks and rookies host them for simple dinners, featuring traditional homecooked meals, freshly brewed beer, and an extravagant smoothie bar. Even after especially tiresome games and away games, the monks insist on delivering personalized smoothies to the team at their residences in Hellmouth. Their method of delivery is unknown, but somehow they ensure that every hard-working player returns home to a crisp, fresh-squeezed smoothie in the flavor they're dreading the least on that particular day.

Smoothyggdrasil

The Smoothie Tree, better known as Smoothyggdrasil, is the oldest and longest-serving monk in the Order of Lanternbearers, serving as the organization's abbot and chief source of Smoothies. They are rooted in the mouth of a large skull, partially embedded in the ground inside the Shadow Moabbey's herb garden. While They are able to navigate around the Moabbey, They return to the skull each night to sleep. Some of the more reckless Aspirants have been known to use the eye socket of Their skull as a makeshift pitching machine during batting practice, as any material thrown into it will be immediately ejected at high speed.

They are a friendly sort, and make it Their duty to care for the younger, less experienced monks. Through various tests in the past, Smoothyggdrasil has worked out that the products of Their branches are affected by what They eat, what They drink, and what They choose to do. The taste of Their smoothies is sometimes out of Their control, and may reflect whatever the missing tongue of the skull is tasting at the time.

Paths of the Order of Lanternbearers

Smoothyggdrasil's primary responsibility as abbot involves organizing and administrating the three Paths within the Order of Lanternbearers: The Path of the Retired, the Path of the Aspirant, and the Path of the Pilgrim. Initiates are sorted into the path that fits them best, based on their potential contributions to the abbey. Each of the three paths serves a different function and they carry out their tasks in separate wings of the building. However, members of all three paths are allowed to socialize, dine, and drink together thanks to the Olde Lonesome Decree of 6XX CE. In the pre-Blaseball era of the Order, the paths were primarily differentiated by their members' seniority, capacity for manual labor, and knowledge of the arcane secrets of fermentation. However, with the advent of the Sunbeams' training program, the paths' roles have changed to keep up with the abbey's new priorities.

Path of the Retired

Monks who take on the mantle of the Retired are those who once played for the Sunbeams. They have since stepped back into the Shadows, giving a chance for newer players to take their place. Sometimes, those who are Retired choose to play for the team again, but most are content to remain within the Shadow Moabbey drinking, gardening, and cheering on their former team.

Known members of the Retired Path

• Joe Voorhees (unconfirmed, rumored to be particularly skilled at trimming vegetation with knives and shears)

Path of the Aspirant

Those who take on the mantle of the Aspirant have arrived at the Moabbey for the purpose of training to become a player for the Sunbeams. Aspirants' names are often spelt out by Diviners of SIBR. An Aspirant's first few years are spent entirely on training in their chosen path - be it batting or pitching. On completion of their training, they will continue to practice, but split their time between tending the gardens and assisting the Smoothie Tree in Their tasks.

Known members of the Aspirant Path

There are no known members of the Aspirant Path, as such information is kept secret by the order. Any who discover the name of an Aspirant are forced to join the Order also, to protect the aspirants from being overwhelmed by excited fans.

Path of the Pilgrim

The final path, the mantle of the Pilgrim, is both the most eclectic and most devoted to the Order. Many citizens from across the known and unknown worlds are known to make the pilgrimage to the Moabbey, and some are hit with what is known by some as ‘the spark’, and by others as ‘impulsive foolishness’. They feel inexplicably drawn to remain at the Moabbey and take on the robes. They will never choose to become a player for the Sunbeams, but are the most commonly seen members of the Order. Their friendship with those who come and go, be they players or pilgrims, is inspirational to many who follow one of the Sunbeams branches.

Known members of the Pilgrim Path

• Beef Randolph, official nutritionist for the Sunbeams
• Smoothyggdrasil, abbot of the Moabbey and purveyor of "delicious" "smoothies"