Lars Taylor

Lars Taylor
Basic Information
Team	Hellmouth Sunbeams
Status	Alive
Batting	★½
Pitching	⠀
Defense	★★★½
Running	(bugged)
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Gossip
Coffee Style	Macchiato
Blood Type	Love
Fate	35
Soulscream	EIEIUEIEIUEOOAAXOOAAXOIAAAOIAAAOI
Biographical Details
Pronouns	He/Him and They/Them
Nickname(s)	"No-Stars Lars"
Species	Human?

Lars Taylor is a pitcher for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Taylor has been a member of the team since Season 1. As of Season 3, Taylor is one of five players in the League to have a zero star rating.

Official League Records

Taylor currently has no notable events in the official recordbooks.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

He pitches using a glove as opposed to the standard Blaseball talon, and he gets his nickname, "No-Stars Lars," from his complete and utter lack of stars, which he traded away in a crossroads deal with a Hellbeast for Sun Energy. This deal was made with JEFF, however JEFF has not taken that form since, and Lars is completely unaware of the fact that the crossroads deal he made was with JEFF.

Rather than eyes, Lars has only portals to the sky, making him very bad at judging when he is facing the batter or when the ball is near him. He is kept on the team because of The Prophecy, and because of his positive team spirit and can-do attitude. While the probability map of Taylor's uncountable arms has been determined empirically, their exact location at any point in time is indeterminate; thus, he holds his glove aloft and pitches the ball by sheer force of will.

Lars' jersey has had a patch on the right shoulder depicting a denim jacket since the beginning of Season 4, from whence his eyes to the sky were reported to be just a touch dimmer. Nobody has been callous enough as to ask him about the meaning.

Trivia

• As of the end of Season 4, Lars Taylor is one of three players in the League to have a 0 star rating in the position that they play. All three are pitchers, though there previously have been 0 star batters. Lars was the first player with 0 stars.
• Lars Taylor has published a philosophical treatise on starlessness, conceptualizing it as a state of absolute liberation akin to nirvana.
• Lars' stars appear to be inversely correlated with PolkaDot Patterson's stars, meaning that Lars currently does not have 87 stars.
• Lars started his career playing for the No-Stats Lads in the Heckmouth Sundarn Series, Hellmouth's amateur league.
• Lars cares about the community and has been mentoring several of Hellmouth's youth who live underneath the stadium.

Fan Art

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  Lars Taylor, mentoring the youth who live under Hellmouth Stadium

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  by @karagna_