Difference between revisions of "Emmett Internet"
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− | {{Player|team= | + | {{Player|team=Hellmouth Sunbeams|rating=★★★|batting= ★★★½| |
pitching= ½| | pitching= ½| | ||
baserunning=(bugged)| | baserunning=(bugged)| | ||
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blood= AAA| | blood= AAA| | ||
fate= 29| | fate= 29| | ||
− | soulscream= IHEOAIHEOAIAOAIAAOAIAAHOAUXHOAUXHIOAOIIOAOIIEAAHAEAAHAEEHIAHEHIAHEIOAAIIOAAIIIEAXHIEAXHIHAAHEHAAHEH|species=friend :->|status=Alive|image1=Emmett-Tlopps-Clard.png}}'''Emmett Internet''' is a lineup player for the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]]. Internet has been a member of the team since [[Season 1]]. Their batting stance is unconventional, but they are known to be an incredibly patient hitter, sometimes waiting years for the right pitch. | + | soulscream= IHEOAIHEOAIAOAIAAOAIAAHOAUXHOAUXHIOAOIIOAOIIEAAHAEAAHAEEHIAHEHIAHEIOAAIIOAAIIIEAXHIEAXHIHAAHEHAAHEH|species=friend :->|status=Alive|image1=Emmett-Tlopps-Clard.png}} |
+ | '''Emmett Internet''' is a lineup player for the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]]. Internet has been a member of the team since [[Season 1]]. Their batting stance is unconventional, but they are known to be an incredibly patient hitter, sometimes waiting years for the right pitch. | ||
==Official League Records == | ==Official League Records == | ||
Internet currently has no notable events in the official recordbooks. | Internet currently has no notable events in the official recordbooks. | ||
+ | <br /> | ||
{{Community Lore}} | {{Community Lore}} | ||
==History== | ==History== | ||
− | Internet was seen going on a date with [[Hades Tigers]] batter [[Ren Morin]] during the | + | Internet was seen going on a date with [[Hades Tigers]] batter [[Ren Morin]] during the [[Season 3]] postseason. |
Some suggest that there exists a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter [[Jessica Telephone]] due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown. | Some suggest that there exists a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter [[Jessica Telephone]] due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown. | ||
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Emmett achieved their current shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read. | Emmett achieved their current shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read. | ||
+ | <br /> | ||
== Personality == | == Personality == | ||
Emmett Internet has "artisinal, hand-crafted, locally-sourced hipster vibes." They are often seen riding a custom tall bicycle in circles anywhere there is flat terrain and green beet juice. There have been reports of the normally-elusive Internet stalking denziens and talking excitedly about gluten-free pop-up raw bag of Icelandic ready made kitsch putine and hexagonal charocal sed kogi. | Emmett Internet has "artisinal, hand-crafted, locally-sourced hipster vibes." They are often seen riding a custom tall bicycle in circles anywhere there is flat terrain and green beet juice. There have been reports of the normally-elusive Internet stalking denziens and talking excitedly about gluten-free pop-up raw bag of Icelandic ready made kitsch putine and hexagonal charocal sed kogi. | ||
Line 32: | Line 35: | ||
To this day he has also <u>never</u> paid for Photoshop. | To this day he has also <u>never</u> paid for Photoshop. | ||
+ | <br /> | ||
== Rivalry == | == Rivalry == | ||
Emmett Internet once called out [[Famous Owens]] in the ''Hellmouth Antique Trumpet Hunter Weekly'', saying Owens was "incredibly supportive to their team and family" and that "if Owens tried to public static void main, it wouldn't even println! lol." Owens never actually read the article, because it was a PDF. Eight years later Owens was enjoying a vat of pickled spaghetti with a friend when the friend brought up the article. Owens immediately wrote a ten page letter addressed to Emmett Internet that suggested that he needed to see a therapist and stop sharing so many internet memes and that chat rooms were no substitute for real social interaction and mailed it to the ''Hellmouth Antique Trumpet Hunter Weekly''. The letter was lost in the mail due to an experimental mail sorting machine that was deployed ahead of the Season 4 elections. | Emmett Internet once called out [[Famous Owens]] in the ''Hellmouth Antique Trumpet Hunter Weekly'', saying Owens was "incredibly supportive to their team and family" and that "if Owens tried to public static void main, it wouldn't even println! lol." Owens never actually read the article, because it was a PDF. Eight years later Owens was enjoying a vat of pickled spaghetti with a friend when the friend brought up the article. Owens immediately wrote a ten page letter addressed to Emmett Internet that suggested that he needed to see a therapist and stop sharing so many internet memes and that chat rooms were no substitute for real social interaction and mailed it to the ''Hellmouth Antique Trumpet Hunter Weekly''. The letter was lost in the mail due to an experimental mail sorting machine that was deployed ahead of the Season 4 elections. | ||
+ | <br /> | ||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
<gallery widths="185"> | <gallery widths="185"> | ||
− | Emmett-internet.png|Emmett's | + | Emmett-internet.png|Emmett's Season 2 clard, by Discord user Ephesos |
− | EmmettInternet-walkup.ogg|Emmett's walkup music, by | + | EmmettInternet-walkup.ogg|Emmett's walkup music, by Discord user OmySpy|link=File:EmmettInternet-walkup.ogg |
Emmett-Tlopps-Clard.png|by discord user SonnenstrAAL | Emmett-Tlopps-Clard.png|by discord user SonnenstrAAL | ||
− | Sketch1596745159109.png| | + | Sketch1596745159109.png|by [https://twitter.com/VVVisection @VVVisection] |
− | Ghjhgjghjghjgjghjghjg.jpg| | + | Ghjhgjghjghjgjghjghjg.jpg|by [https://twitter.com/churgalax @churgalax] |
+ | EmmettInternet by JustMako.png|by [https://twitter.com/justmako/status/1299510063204380672 @JustMako] | ||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
+ | <br /> | ||
[[Category:Hellmouth Sunbeams]] | [[Category:Hellmouth Sunbeams]] | ||
[[Category:Players]] | [[Category:Players]] | ||
− | |||
− | |||
[[Category:Lineup Players]] | [[Category:Lineup Players]] | ||
[[Category:Players with a Tlopps card]] | [[Category:Players with a Tlopps card]] | ||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | <references /> | ||
+ | {{#switch:Hellmouth Sunbeams | ||
+ | |Canada Moist Talkers = {{MoistTalkersNav}}[[Category:Canada Moist Talkers]] | ||
+ | |Seattle Garages = {{GaragesNav}}[[Category:Seattle Garages]] | ||
+ | |Miami Dalé = {{DaléNav}}[[Category:Miami Dalé]] | ||
+ | |Houston Spies = {{SpiesNav}}[[Category:Houston Spies]] | ||
+ | |Breckenridge Jazz Hands = {{JazzHandsNav}}[[Category:Breckenridge Jazz Hands]] | ||
+ | |Hades Tigers = {{TigersNav}}[[Category:Hades Tigers]] | ||
+ | |Mexico City Wild Wings = {{WildWingsNav}}[[Category:Mexico City Wild Wings]] | ||
+ | |Philly Pies = {{PiesNav}}[[Category:Philly Pies]] | ||
+ | |New York Millennials = {{MillennialsNav}}[[Category:New York Millennials]] | ||
+ | |San Francisco Lovers = {{LoversNav}}[[Category:San Francisco Lovers]] | ||
+ | |Hellmouth Sunbeams = {{Template:SunbeamsNav}}[[Category:Hellmouth Sunbeams]] | ||
+ | |Hawaii Fridays = {{Template:FridaysNav}}[[Category:Hawaii Fridays]] | ||
+ | |Baltimore Crabs = {{Template:CrabsNav}}[[Category:Baltimore Crabs]] | ||
+ | |Kansas City Breath Mints = {{Template:BreathMintsNav}}[[Category:Kansas City Breath Mints]] | ||
+ | |Boston Flowers = {{Template:FlowersNav}}[[Category:Boston Flowers]] | ||
+ | |Dallas Steaks = {{Template:SteaksNav}}[[Category:Dallas Steaks]] | ||
+ | |Charleston Shoe Thieves = {{Template:ShoeThievesNav}}[[Category:Charleston Shoe Thieves]] | ||
+ | |Unlimited Tacos = {{Template:TacosNav}}[[Category:Unlimited Tacos]] | ||
+ | |Yellowstone Magic = {{Template:MagicNav}}[[Category:Yellowstone Magic]] | ||
+ | |Chicago Firefighters = {{Template:FirefightersNav}}[[Category:Chicago Firefighters]] | ||
+ | }} |
Revision as of 04:24, 29 August 2020
Emmett Internet is a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Internet has been a member of the team since Season 1. Their batting stance is unconventional, but they are known to be an incredibly patient hitter, sometimes waiting years for the right pitch.
Official League Records
Internet currently has no notable events in the official recordbooks.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
History
Internet was seen going on a date with Hades Tigers batter Ren Morin during the Season 3 postseason.
Some suggest that there exists a passionate rivalry between Internet and Tigers batter Jessica Telephone due to their inability to exist in the same place at the same time, though the exact nature of their relationship is unknown.
Tragic Backstory
Growing up in the SFJPEJSCMXOIKO suburb of the Hellmouth, Emmett was a bright-eyed and cheerful child, honing their catching and digestive skills by playing games of the charming local pastime "Get Rocks Thrown At You", the influence of which can still be seen in their tendency to eat the blaseball the one time every three years that the Sunbeam pitchers manage to successfully throw it their way.
Emmett achieved their current shapeless, friendly form after accidentally inventing computers at the age of fifteen, and inadvertently entering a pact that exchanged their body for a "cloud" on which the new Internet would be born. In theory, the sheer amount of sensitive and personal data stored on their incorporeal databanks would grant them unmatched power, if only they could read.
Personality
Emmett Internet has "artisinal, hand-crafted, locally-sourced hipster vibes." They are often seen riding a custom tall bicycle in circles anywhere there is flat terrain and green beet juice. There have been reports of the normally-elusive Internet stalking denziens and talking excitedly about gluten-free pop-up raw bag of Icelandic ready made kitsch putine and hexagonal charocal sed kogi.
Emmett is well known online as a notorious digital pirate. He still uses Limewire and always seeds torrents. Other players have asked him to burn illegal mixtape CDs for them, but he always ends up melting them due to "UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS". The Garages dislike him because he doesn't pay for their music.
To this day he has also never paid for Photoshop.
Rivalry
Emmett Internet once called out Famous Owens in the Hellmouth Antique Trumpet Hunter Weekly, saying Owens was "incredibly supportive to their team and family" and that "if Owens tried to public static void main, it wouldn't even println! lol." Owens never actually read the article, because it was a PDF. Eight years later Owens was enjoying a vat of pickled spaghetti with a friend when the friend brought up the article. Owens immediately wrote a ten page letter addressed to Emmett Internet that suggested that he needed to see a therapist and stop sharing so many internet memes and that chat rooms were no substitute for real social interaction and mailed it to the Hellmouth Antique Trumpet Hunter Weekly. The letter was lost in the mail due to an experimental mail sorting machine that was deployed ahead of the Season 4 elections.
Gallery
Emmett's walkup music, by Discord user OmySpy
by @VVVisection
by @churgalax
by @JustMako
Players | Batters | |
---|---|---|
Pitchers | ||
Shadows |
|
|
Buried | Boudicca Midcentury · Doc Anice | |
Former |
|
|
Stats | Season | 1 |
Beta | β1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24 | |
Circuit | Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4 | |
Ballpark | Lower Moab Scenic Overlook Field | |
Community Lore | ||
Staff | Sol · Monsieur Beam · JEFF! · Dead Tom · The Man Who Owns All the Teeth · Priya Fox · Determination Montgomery | |
Places | Hellmouth · Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board · Shadow Moabbey · Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café · Arches National Plark | |
History | Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams' History · The Solympic Flame · Adaptation · HELIOLATRY · Cuisine of Hellmouth | |
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
Stare Into the Sun... |