Tillman Henderson

Tillman Henderson
Basic Information
Team	Baltimore Crabs
Status	Active
Batting	★★1/2
Pitching	★1/2
Defense	★★★★1/2
Running	★★★★1/2
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Inventing secret handshakes
Coffee Style	Cold Brew
Blood Type	O No
Fate	70
Soulscream	AUEXIAUEXIAUHAEHUHAEHUIEAOIIEAOII
Biographical Details
Pronouns	He/Him
Personal Relationships
Rival(s)	Everyone

Tillman Henderson is a player for the Baltimore Crabs who has played for the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Henderson currently has no notable events in the official record books.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him.

He got a spot in the pitching roster because his father, Thrillman J. Henderson, was a hedge fund manager who recommended an accountant with questionable methods to the Crabs' Chief Financial Officer.

Henderson is frequently rude to support staff, medical staff and the wizard staff which hovers in the center of the Crabs' dressing room. He is constantly late to training, usually due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. He never fetches his own balls.

He has faced strong backlash from fan organizations for posting fan art without crediting the artists on social media. His response of "idk who did it I just found it" was not well-received either.

He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated. He has a matching arm tattoo with Kennedy Loser.

He always makes a huge mess in restaurants, and never tips. He has several driving offenses, and always parks at a 35-70° angle. He is currently being investigated for several thousands of dollars worth of unpaid tickets. It is unclear why he still has a license.

Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Extended Siesta Activities

During the extended siesta, Tillman discovered a large group of much nicer Tillman clones living in the woods of Maryland, having escaped from the Henderson Cloning Facility and built a life for themselves in the forest. Tillman hired a pirate physicist to create a quantum field interdimensional transporter, transported himself to another dimension with higher technology, and hired another pirate physicist with more advanced technology to create a hyperquantum interdimensional pocket universe entangler, which he used to send the nice Tillman clones to a pocket universe, eliminating any chance of escaping incineration in the process.

Tillman also grew a soul patch during the extended siesta.

In Literature

Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Henderson, although he said he "didn't want to":

To write a poem on Tillman is a chore

This unpleasant rotten whiny sad disgrace

Who perhaps it is much better to ignore

I have seen him punch a grandma in the face

Throughout Baltimore his name will earn a curse

And he’s been thrown out of nearly every place

Yes, it’s very hard to find a person worse

He trips waiters when he visits all cafés

And the way he parks his car is near perverse

Plus, of pitching little talent he betrays

His ERA is in the stratosphere

We’re glad he pitches just once in five days

Yet as crass and rude and stupid he appears

If he ever wins a game he’ll earn our cheers.

_{Edit History}

• _{Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)}
• _{Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)}
• _{Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020}
• _{Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)}
• _{Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)}
• _{Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020}

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