Difference between revisions of "Simon Haley"
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After {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley founded the Anti-Peanut Alliance and devoted {{RandomPronoun|lower|reflexive|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} to it. After the [[Season 9]] playoffs, the Alliance began creating fliers proclaiming "Top 10 Anti-Peanut Tips For The Upcoming Battle Against God" and posting advice in a similar vein online. Following the fall of [[the Shelled One]], Haley is quoted saying "I'm just proud I could do my part to help." When asked what the Alliance would do next, Haley responded that "we may branch out to herald the defeat of other corrupt gods, but as of now we're back to fighting against the evils of the common nut. Did you know over 60% of ILB players are allergic?" | After {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley founded the Anti-Peanut Alliance and devoted {{RandomPronoun|lower|reflexive|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} to it. After the [[Season 9]] playoffs, the Alliance began creating fliers proclaiming "Top 10 Anti-Peanut Tips For The Upcoming Battle Against God" and posting advice in a similar vein online. Following the fall of [[the Shelled One]], Haley is quoted saying "I'm just proud I could do my part to help." When asked what the Alliance would do next, Haley responded that "we may branch out to herald the defeat of other corrupt gods, but as of now we're back to fighting against the evils of the common nut. Did you know over 60% of ILB players are allergic?" | ||
− | On {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} swap to the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Haley told reporters that {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} quickly slotted into the team's dynamic, in part due to pamphlets printed up by former teammate [[Lachlan Shelton]] to help former Talkers adapt to their new environment. Teammate [[Howell Franklin]] commented that "When you first talk to Simon, {{RandomPronoun|lower| | + | On {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} swap to the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Haley told reporters that {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} quickly slotted into the team's dynamic, in part due to pamphlets printed up by former teammate [[Lachlan Shelton]] to help former Talkers adapt to their new environment. Teammate [[Howell Franklin]] commented that "When you first talk to Simon, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|seems|seem|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} like such a shy little thing. But when {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|opens|open|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} opens up? Absolute chaos. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|just wants|just want|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} to yell. I respect that immensely." The two appear to be friends in some capacity as, after the season 10 game in which Haley hit the ILB's first ever recorded pentaslam, Franklin reportedly lifted {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict}}}} onto their shoulders and did a lap around the field while Haley emitted whoops of delight. |
===Trivia=== | ===Trivia=== |
Revision as of 22:18, 19 April 2021
Simon Haley is a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and has been with the team since Season 8.
Official League Records
Haley entered the league on the Canada Moist Talkers as a replacement for Trevino Merritt after Merritt's incineration during Season 2.
On Day 8 of Season 3, Haley consumed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction. Haley's hitting rank dropped from to
On Day 44 of Season 8, Haley switched to the Shoe Thieves in a feedback event with Eugenia Garbage.
At the end of Season 8, the Radical Alchemy blessing randomized Simon's batting stats from ★ to ★★★½.
On Day 7 of Season 10, Haley hit the first recorded pentaslam (5-run home run) and found the 4-Blood Blagonball.
On Season 10, Day 8, some of Haley's defensive ability was siphoned by Yeong-Ho Benitez, bringing it from ★ to ½.
In the Season 10 elections, Haley received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof.
During the Coffee Cup, Haley played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Blaseball Career
Achievements
Haley was voted ILB Rookie of the Year by fan vote at the end of Season 2. are the first player to receive this award.
Personal Life
Simon Haley is rumored to be the lovechild of 18th Century English astronomer Edmond Halley and the short-period comet 1P/Halley, conceived sometime following Edmond Halley's death in 1742.
Haley came down to the Moist Talkers from on high after Trevino Merritt's incineration, and was chosen to take Merritt's place after displayed much of the same batting and running prowess as predecessor.
After unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley founded the Anti-Peanut Alliance and devoted to it. After the Season 9 playoffs, the Alliance began creating fliers proclaiming "Top 10 Anti-Peanut Tips For The Upcoming Battle Against God" and posting advice in a similar vein online. Following the fall of the Shelled One, Haley is quoted saying "I'm just proud I could do my part to help." When asked what the Alliance would do next, Haley responded that "we may branch out to herald the defeat of other corrupt gods, but as of now we're back to fighting against the evils of the common nut. Did you know over 60% of ILB players are allergic?"
On swap to the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Haley told reporters that quickly slotted into the team's dynamic, in part due to pamphlets printed up by former teammate Lachlan Shelton to help former Talkers adapt to their new environment. Teammate Howell Franklin commented that "When you first talk to Simon, seem like such a shy little thing. But when open opens up? Absolute chaos. just want to yell. I respect that immensely." The two appear to be friends in some capacity as, after the season 10 game in which Haley hit the ILB's first ever recorded pentaslam, Franklin reportedly lifted onto their shoulders and did a lap around the field while Haley emitted whoops of delight.
Trivia
- Haley's birthday is July 12, 1986
- Haley is a Type 1 diabetic and has an insulin pump
- Haley's favourite skittles are the green ones
Gallery
Simon Haley Tlopps card by @Spiral_Joe, logo by @LonghairQ, original design by @Avery_Helm
Tlopps card by gamey @AnimatesGamey
Doodles of Simon by @bugsbenedict
Simon and Lars Taylor by @CKaelde
Simon and Lars during the Slostice by @CKaelde
Simon by @revivificating
Simon and Lars in Western outfits by @bugsbenedict
Miniblaseballer by @HetreaSky
Players | Batters | |
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Pitchers | ||
Shadows | ||
Buried | Richardson Games · Darren Chill · Slosh Gulp · Becker Solis | |
Former |
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Stats | Season | β1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24 1 · 2 · Full List |
Circuits | Gamma 1 · Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4 | |
Events | The Grand Unslam · Day X | |
Ballpark | Choux Stadium | |
Community Lore | ||
Staff | Cornelius Games · Matteo Prestige · Sneaker Pete · Holden Milk | |
Places | Charleston · The Beck And Call · Sunken Charleston Remembrance Obelisk | |
History | Charleston Shoe Thieves' History · Fan Awards | |
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
Your Kicks are Our Kicks. |