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| | The '''Olde One''' (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. | | The '''Olde One''' (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. |
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| − | ==Prayers for <choose uncached="">
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| − | <option> The Olde One</option>
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| − | <option> The One Who Sleeps </option>
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| − | <option> Deborah </option>
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| − | <option> Mother Crab </option>
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| − | </choose> ==
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| − | The following words have been offered by the [[Baltimore Crabs]] If you would like to see more offerings, simply refresh the page. <br/> <br/> <i>
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| − | <!-- if you would like to add a new prayer, simply add it on under an existing one by starting it off with <option> and ending with </option>
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| − | If you want to make other changes to the page, just head down to the bottom to reach the IRM section, or make edits to the IRMs directly. Apologies for all the scrolling as we ended up with a lot of prayers-->
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| − | <blockquote>
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| − | <choose uncached="">
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| − | <option>“Okay I don’t know if you gave the scales a little nudge, but I will admit that the sun thing was pretty cool.<br/>Signed, Tot Fox” </option> | + | <!-- if you would like to add a new prayer, add it to the list on the Olde One/Prayers page --> |
| | + | {{:Olde One/Prayers|The following words have been offered by the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. You can view more by refreshing the page, or by listening in [[Olde One/Prayers|here]].|3}} |
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| − | <option>“We’ve been around the sun a few times you and I. I wonder who’s been here longer? I’d like to think it’s me, but the older you get the easier it is to mistake your own self importance. Though it looks like you learned that lesson well enough on your own didn’t you? <br/> Signed, Tot Fox” </option>
| + | {{IRM|Subject=Olde One|title=Conflicting Histories|intro=If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it.|format=vignette}} |
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| − | <option>“I’m not scared of you.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Our Lady wanted me to pass on a message, but it was really sappy so I’m uhhh not going to do that. Just like imagine the sappiest thing you can, and make it ten times sappier. It’s so embarrassing.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Okay I’ve asked everyone else on my team but no one will give me a straight answer. Who plays after me in the lineup now that Baldwin is gone? It’s driving me nuts. Someone is hitting the ball but I still haven’t seen them and it’s making it way harder to play. Also the locker room might be haunted so like, get on that.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I need my hands to stop shaking every time I pick up a bat. It’s killing me to just watch the ball fly by and not be able to move. It’s like a weight in my chest. I’ve tried everything I could think of but nothing makes it better. We even won again! But I just couldn’t stop looking up at that gaping hole in the sky. Wondering if it would be another ten years until I could come back home. And I just couldn't do it.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Oh hello. Funny seeing you here. You haven’t by any chance seen {{Color|mediumpurple|him}} have you? No? Okay well if you do let me know, I have a deal I want to pay {{Color|mediumpurple|him}} back for.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I told them I was going to get good. And now I did. Kind of a dick move that I don’t get to be here with Baldwin but whatever. Let me know if you can work something out with that. I don’t do deals, but I’ll net your team a win if that’s what you’re looking for.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I shouldn’t feel pity for you. I never knew you while you were alive. You’ve burdened my teammates for years now. You’ve taken more than you could have ever offered. But you’re a corpse, now. Just an afterimage of a failed god. I dance in your sun-bleached shell for entertainment, goddammit.<br>I shouldn’t.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Hey. If you’re listening, which I assume you always are, ████ you.<br/><br/>And thank you.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I’m just saying would it kill you to let the bases get loaded up before my next home run? You let Tillman get a grand slam, so at this point I’m going to assume you’re playing favourites.” </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>“If you can hear this, please - I just need this one letter to go through. You can let us rot here for all I care, I just need them to know” </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>“If you can hear this, I don’t care! I’m not letting anything stop me from getting home, and I don’t need your help to do it. Get bent” </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ..-. --- .-. / -- -.-- / .-.. .. ..-. . .-.-.- </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>.- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / - .... . .-. . ..--.. / .. ... / - .... .- - / .-- .... -.-- / .. / .- -- / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / .... . .-. . ..--.. </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>.-- .... .- - . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -. --- .-- --..-- / .. / .-. . -- . -- -... . .-. / .-- .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .-. . .-.-.- </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>"In their name, I pray. Deliver us. Guide us. Save us.” </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>"It’s just so much sometimes you know? It’s hard to keep everyone together, and to make sure they’re all safe. I know it’s not all on me, but it’s hard not to feel responsible for it. I was never meant to be left in charge, but somehow this is where I ended up. I’m sorry I shouldn’t be asking you for help after all this. It just feels nice to talk to someone about it” </option>
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| − | <option>“You want them back right? Well I’ll tell you what, I’ve got a ship that can get to the center of the black hole and back out, and if you’re willing to make sure that I’ve got the immunity I need when I come up, we might be able to work something out, you and I. What do you say? Do we have a deal?” </option>
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| − | <option>“It’s fascinating what they have down here there is so much to learn even from earth’s simplest creatures. I mean no disrespect though! It is your simplicity that makes you so beautiful. You care for your people, and I just hope that I can be included in that.” </option>
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| − | </choose>
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| − | </blockquote>
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| − | <blockquote>
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| − | <choose uncached="">
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| − | <option>“I still haven’t forgiven you.”</option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>[silence]</option>
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| − | <option>“You know things are bad if I’m coming to you about something. I don’t know what to do. Mom, please, you gotta talk to me. When do I get to sleep, Mom? When do I get some sleep? It’s the same, I know it isn’t the same but right now it’s the same. It’s still the same. You there, Mom?”</option>
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| − | <option>“This wasn’t what you wanted, but it had to be done.”</option>
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| − | <option>“If this was truly what you wanted, I don’t regret being the one to do it.”</option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>“I’m not sorry.”</option>
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| − | <option>“And for today’s guest we have the one and only god of the bay herself! Now Deborah is there anything you want to tell my listeners? [...] Aww that’s very sweet of you to worry, but I’m sure the recording will turn out fine! It’s not like-”</option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>“I asked Brock about this and he was super cagey. Like he can’t decide if this is an important part of playing here, or if he wants to try and ban me from trying it. I figure I should do it anyway and just not tell him.
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| − | I don’t think I get it. It’s like there's a rulebook of things to know and I’m stuck catching up all the time. Everyone’s super nice about it, but when I lose or when I say the wrong thing, or react in a way I don’t think I’m supposed to, I just know I messed up. I don’t think you can do anything about it though.
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| − | You know what that did feel a little better.
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| − | If you are listening please don’t tell Brock I talked to you I don’t want him to be mad.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Oh Great Olde One, Nautical Deborah, Heart of the Bay and Mother of all Crabs, please turn your great eyes upon me. I seek to scuttle in your path and draw closer to the ultimate destiny of all life. Work your incomparable and, um...great crustaceous power to...um. ...Are you even still out there? Still listening? I don’t know if you’re the type of god that likes to give direct and clear messages in people’s heads. The other Crabs say you are...or maybe, were, back before they hollowed you out. I thought doing this, talking to you out loud, would help me have a connection with you like they all seem to have. ...I just want to feel like part of the team.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I know what I did to piss you off. I get it. I blew the game and you’re mad. I’m not going to ask you to forgive me or anything. I’m going to prove that I don’t need it. I’ll play without it. I want it back but I’m willing to earn it if that’s what it takes”</option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>"I don't need your gifts anymore. You can give it back if you want, but I made my own- we made my own. Nothing you could do could ever compare. </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>"... I still haven't earned it. Doesn't feel like it. I don't have to earn it with them, though. I just have to try my best. I always am." </option>
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| − | <option>“Hey, uh. Brock and I are getting married. It’s gonna happen regardless of your blessing, but. Thought it might be appropriate to ask.” </option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>[screaming]</option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>[The sound of water rushing into your lungs.]</option>
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| − | <option>“YEAH? YEAH YOU THINK THIS IS GOING TO STOP ME? WE’RE STRONGER THAN YOU AND WE KNOW THAT, IF I DIE HERE THEN THERE WILL BE HUNDREDS MORE AFTER ME - SO DON’T GET COMFORTABLE” </option>
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| − | <option>“I’ve never thought much about time. Not in the way that other people do. I think you’re the same way. You exist in perpetuity. Your best and worst traits are always there. Your final words echoing back to the day you first emerged. Is that why we can still hear you so long after you’ve died? Is that why we still miss you so long after we made the choice not to? ” </option>
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| − | <option>“I know that it’s all about change. I know that’s why we end up here, and why we’ll all leave eventually. But it feels different when it happens to me. I guess that’s why I needed to experience this. So thanks? I guess? Though I don’t know if it’s still you handing out all those blessings.”</option>
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| − | <option>“They say you’re the most powerful thing in the city. I don't know if that’s true anymore, but it’s hard to test that theory. I wonder what you think of all of this? Are you even there or am I talking to myself?”</option>
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| − | <option>“I’m getting out. I’m free. I never have to see any of this again. Let the rest of them know that it’s possible okay? I don’t think it’s easy, but they can get out. Please tell them, please let them know-”</option>
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| − | <option>“You’re not so scary you know. After everything I’ve been through? I was expecting more. I’m not going to make a deal with you. But I will ask you to keep them safe when I’m gone. There will be no compensation.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I’m not sure they can reach you from up here, but I think I can. I would pass on their messages but I know enough about your kind that I know you would twist them around and hurt them. Some of them know better than to ask though, so maybe this team was a good fit for me afterall. </option>
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| − | <option>“How is it that I was strong enough to kill you, but not strong enough to keep her alive? Strong enough for violence, but not to save the ones I love. It’s not fair that you get to hear this and she doesn’t. I won’t let it happen again. No matter the cost.”</option>
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| − | </choose>
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| − | </blockquote>
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| − | <blockquote>
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| − | <choose uncached="">
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| − | <option>“Hello? Hello? Can you even hear me from up here? I would like a full set of new wrenches, at least 30 eels I can use for experiments and at least 2 new henchmen. And if you could throw in a nice new face mask that would be ideal. Thank you and have a good night.” </option>
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| − | <option>“So you… change people right? Make them different? I was wondering if maybe there was a way you could do that for me. We’re two different people, and I’m sick of just being...the defective one I guess. I have some notes here. Some carapace on the mask maybe? Or like little fangs? If you take suggestions I was thinking of something eel related. Eels and crabs are like basically the same thing right?”</option>
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| − | <option>“It’s been a long time. I hope you’re doing well, all alone down there. The rest of them are gone right now, but I’m not sure you’ve noticed. Or that you can notice honestly. I honestly don't care either way. This is mostly just a bad old habit.”</option>
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| − | <option>“Someone said that you’re the god of change? Like evolution? The concept of things never staying the same? Well could you cut it out? We were doing just fine. We didn’t need to change. Now it’s just different and sad. Feels like garbage. I just want him back.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I don’t know what everyone was freaking out about with the bay water, I’m totally fine! I just need to figure out where all this light is coming from. Oh hey who’s this? Hello? Oh that’s sick actually, is there some big dead crab in the bay? Wild. Oh wait this might have been a bad idea-”</option>
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| − | <option>“The finals are coming up. This could be it. The last game we play before we ascend. I know we messed it up last time, but I have a feeling this could be it. I wish it wasn’t me pitching - it’s so stressful to have all these expectations on one person. But don’t worry - I won’t let it all fall on one. That’s why there are so many of us right? We can do anything together.
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| − | Oh sorry right that’s probably insensitive of me to say. Sorry! “</option>
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| − | <option>“Hey. It’s been a while eh? You know when I died I thought that would be the end of it. No more changes, just a long boring eternal rest of whatever. But I got a new job, and a new life. It’s been nice honestly. I’d like to think they’d be proud of what I’ve done. And as bad as it is to say it, I’m glad it’s not so lonely down here these days. But if you can do me a favour and stop Tillman from coming back that would be ideal.” </option>
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| − | <option>“I wanted to thank you again for what you did for me. I know that it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but those three letters make a huge difference! I feel like I don’t need to explain myself to anyone, they just accept it and move on. I know you haven’t always been the best for the city, but I wanted to know how much that meant to me. So thank you again." </option>
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| − | <option>“You talk to people, right? Could you, like, clear up this whole drama about how you gave me all these fingers? The tabloids keep following me around about it. Uh...love, Dot, or something. How do I close this out? Stop. Over.” </option>
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| − | <option>“To everyone else, you are gone. But when I am out there on the rooftops and listen to the city, there you are. In their nightmares. Everyone else misses you in their own way. But I do not have to. As long as I am still here, I will be a monument to that memory.”</option>
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| − | <option>“Was it you who did this? I’m not going to thank you or anything. Didn’t even have the decency to rez me where I wanted to be, but whatever I’ll make it work. Tell Nora I said hi and also that her onboarding joke with the scuba tank was dumb. And please keep Combs down there - I think she’s still pissed about the song.” </option>
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| − | <option>“...thanks. I guess. I know it isn’t like, all you or whatever. But I don’t think I would have ended up on the team without that. Or met everyone else. It would have sucked to have not been where I am right now. So thanks for being a big messed up Crab god and starting this whole thing.” </option>
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| − | <option>“Uh, I don’t know if you have any sway with the Blaseball gods or anything, but I would really really like it if we could get the blessing that lets me hit the ball instead of throwing it. I would be better at that than at pitching so I could, uh, better honor you. If you do I’ll be good and not eat crab - or eat only crab? Or maybe I'll just walk everywhere sideways. Uh, thanks. Clawmen.”</option>
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| − | <option>“Please don’t let them take me. I don’t want to go back.”</option>
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| − | <option>“It’s been a long time. I don’t get to play here much anymore. I wish I did, but not to see you. The paths I walk are so far removed from you now that I don’t think I need to pay you much tribute anymore. But consider these words to be one anyway. Your death served a purpose, and I hope that it has been fulfilled.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I haven’t prayed to you in years, but now that they’re gone? Please. Just get them back home safe. I can’t say I’d do anything - I know what you’ve asked before, and I can’t afford to be that selfish. I just need them to come home safe. If you ever cared about us at all - prove it.”</option>
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| − | <option>“I wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if I stayed. Worse I think. You should see me now. I looked my god in the eyes and she blinked first. Then I thought I’d stop off and play some blaseball. Let me know if you need a reminder of who runs this town.” </option>
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| − | <option>“They keep telling me you’re something powerful! Still can’t touch me, though, so you must not be worth that much, huh! Have fun in your afterlife, Debbie, I’ll long outlive your legacy.”</option>
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| − | | |
| − | <option>♪ when I look you in the eyes I will start to realise - you're pathetic in the worst ways, you're spineless like on most days. when I look you in the eyes I will start to realise: you're not going anywhere, going anywhere ♪</option>
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| − | <option>“I swear if you make me buy one more plane ticket I’m dumping all of my equipment in the bay and someone else will have to figure it out.” </option>
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| − | <option>“What can I do to stay?”</option>
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| − | </choose>
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| − | </blockquote>
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| − | </i>
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| − | {{IRM|Subject=Olde One|title=Conflicting Histories|intro=If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it.}} | |
| | ---- | | ---- |
| | {{CrabsNav}} | | {{CrabsNav}} |
| | [[Category:Entities]] | | [[Category:Entities]] |
| | [[Category:Baltimore Crabs]] | | [[Category:Baltimore Crabs]] |
COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
The Olde One (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the Baltimore Crabs.
Prayers for The One Who Sleeps
The following words have been offered by the
Baltimore Crabs. You can view more by refreshing the page, or by listening in
here.
“I’m not really sure what I should ask you honestly? I guess… I’d like to see it once, just to get an idea of it. What does it look like from where you are? How does it feel to be how you are? I want to know it and understand it, and I want to help other people get that perspective. You learned something important, and I want to help other people understand it.
“They keep telling me you’re something powerful! Still can’t touch me, though, so you must not be worth that much, huh! Have fun in your afterlife, Debbie, I’ll long outlive your legacy.”
"Hey come check on your guys, they're not doing so hot and I'm here to play blaseball not be their emotional support captain."
Conflicting Histories
- If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-70.896 out of its Rumor Registry...
Speculation on the Origins of the Olde One
It has been theorized that the crab living in Chesapeake Bay, Baltimore is actually only remarkable for the age and size of the creature herself. While many strange phenomena have been reported around her and Baltimore, we have no conclusive evidence that this kind of behavior isn’t naturally occurring. Other research into especially long lived sea life has been sparse at best, leaving us with very little to compare against. So while we are unable to draw any definitive conclusions, the following is a theory presented based on existing knowledge of other crustaceans, extrapolated on the long life cycle of the crab of Chesapeake Bay.
Murder
Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:
- The entire city participated in the act
- The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
- It had to be done.
The Natural Life Cycle of a Very Old Crab
It is an observed phenomenon in some species of Lobsters and other crustaceans that they have a unique feature known as Biological Immortality. That is to say that they do not “slow down or weaken with age. In fact as they grow older, most of these creatures die not of any external factor, but rather of issues relating to molting. Molting takes a significant amount of energy, and the larger the creature, the more energy is taken up by this molt. The oldest of these biologically immortal creatures die of expending too much energy in their molt, or from refusing to molt and being trapped inside their shell.
One theory proposes that the key to overcoming this limitation is to source the energy required for molting externally rather than as an internal process. In the case of our very own Crab Mother, this would imply that in order for her to molt and grow further, she would need assistance removing her carapace, and slipping out from that shell to recover and grow a new one. If this is the case, then is it not possible that the reckoning was not an outlying event? Not an aberration on her long life, but rather the natural cycle of how a creature such as her must continue to grow
Possible Further Research Topics
Now supposing all of this is true, what does that mean? Well it doesn’t change much for everyday life in Baltimore. For the most part the stories of defeating a god are still accurate. Just as it is accurate to say a flood defeats a mountain, just because it is an inevitability does not make it any less impressive. What should be considered is where the remains of the Olde One have sunk to to recover and regrow her carapace, and what might be waiting for us on her return.
