Difference between revisions of "Olde One"

Latest revision as of 16:41, 10 July 2021

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Olde One (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the Baltimore Crabs.

Prayers for The Olde One

“It’s been a long time. I don’t get to play here much anymore. I wish I did, but not to see you. The paths I walk are so far removed from you now that I don’t think I need to pay you much tribute anymore. But consider these words to be one anyway. Your death served a purpose, and I hope that it has been fulfilled.”

“I found that thing. I assume you know what I’m talking about and what I did with it. It’s symbolic I guess. I don’t think I’m just over it now but I suppose this is the first step. So… thanks for listening I guess.”

[silence]

Conflicting Histories

If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-70.896 out of its Rumor Registry...

Speculation on the Origins of the Olde One

It has been theorized that the crab living in Chesapeake Bay, Baltimore is actually only remarkable for the age and size of the creature herself. While many strange phenomena have been reported around her and Baltimore, we have no conclusive evidence that this kind of behavior isn’t naturally occurring. Other research into especially long lived sea life has been sparse at best, leaving us with very little to compare against. So while we are unable to draw any definitive conclusions, the following is a theory presented based on existing knowledge of other crustaceans, extrapolated on the long life cycle of the crab of Chesapeake Bay.

Murder

Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:

The entire city participated in the act
The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
It had to be done.

The Natural Life Cycle of a Very Old Crab

It is an observed phenomenon in some species of Lobsters and other crustaceans that they have a unique feature known as Biological Immortality. That is to say that they do not “slow down or weaken with age. In fact as they grow older, most of these creatures die not of any external factor, but rather of issues relating to molting. Molting takes a significant amount of energy, and the larger the creature, the more energy is taken up by this molt. The oldest of these biologically immortal creatures die of expending too much energy in their molt, or from refusing to molt and being trapped inside their shell.

One theory proposes that the key to overcoming this limitation is to source the energy required for molting externally rather than as an internal process. In the case of our very own Crab Mother, this would imply that in order for her to molt and grow further, she would need assistance removing her carapace, and slipping out from that shell to recover and grow a new one. If this is the case, then is it not possible that the reckoning was not an outlying event? Not an aberration on her long life, but rather the natural cycle of how a creature such as her must continue to grow

Possible Further Research Topics

Now supposing all of this is true, what does that mean? Well it doesn’t change much for everyday life in Baltimore. For the most part the stories of defeating a god are still accurate. Just as it is accurate to say a flood defeats a mountain, just because it is an inevitability does not make it any less impressive. What should be considered is where the remains of the Olde One have sunk to to recover and regrow her carapace, and what might be waiting for us on her return.

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 {{Community Lore}}
-__FORCETOC__
+{{Player
+| title1=The Olde One
+<!-- Use the filename with the file type, but without the File: or Image: prefix-->
+| image1=File:Deborah, Olde One - GlassGoblin.png
+| caption1= Art by {{Twitter|name=GlassGoblin}}
+<!-- Records: Basic information -->
+<!-- IN GAME NAMES ONLY -->
+| status=Deceased
+| dates=Unknown
+<!-- Records: Statistical Information -->
+| pronouns=She/Her
+}}
+__NOTOC__
 The '''Olde One''' (also known as The Mother Crab, Mr. Trash Wheel, The Deep One, They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay, Mom, The Indomitable Snip, She of the Eternal Shuffle, He of the Omniscent Ommatophores, “That There Big Crab”, Our Lady of the Impenecrable Shell, Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth, and Big Debrah) is the corpse-god of Chesapeake Bay, and matron diety to the [[Baltimore Crabs]].
-<br />
+<!-- if you would like to add a new prayer, add it to the list on the Olde One/Prayers page -->
+{{:Olde One/Prayers|The following words have been offered by the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. You can view more by refreshing the page, or by listening in [[Olde One/Prayers|here]].|3}}
-== Appearance ==
-The Mother Crab has manifested in many ways throughout her life and after her death, and description of her is hard to place. The following is an account of an experience with her, whether it were a vision in a dream, a scene walking or sailing by her body, something glimpsed beneath the murky shallows of the Oldest Bay, or something else entirely.
-''(some initial descriptions while we get the IRM set up...)''
-== Relationship to Baltimore ==
-The Big Crab's origins are hazy in the silty tides of memory. It is unknown if it was always in the Oldest Bay, or if it was beyond space, tethered only by the physical [[The Crabaclysm|avatar]] who resided there. However, he has certainly been a part of Baltimore's history since the beginning. Older residents of the city are far more willing to open up about their experiences living under the Big Crab’s influence, saying it brought the tide and came with the tide, and it watched over the city as a protector and justiciar. She taught the city many things, and was happy to speak with the many who sought her for aid or advice. He taught how to bake souffles, how to dreamsee, how to taste the coming weather, how to keep a hard shell for the harder times in life, how to budget, and, most importantly, how to make violence upon God. She was very insistent on arming and armoring the city, and spoke of cryptic things to come in a way that was really annoying and made you wonder if they actually knew if anything was coming at all because of how vague they were being. Few young proselytes sought to be closer to her by walking into the bay and never stopping. It is rumored that her last protege was a young [[Brock Forbes]].
-== Murder ==
-Not much is recorded about the killing of the Olde One. It is considered extremely impolite to bring up around anyone who was involved, and even between one witness to another it is only referred to with a soured expression or a trailed off sentence. Insinuations that it may have been at the Olde One’s behest that the first god the city kill be their own has been met with troubled reactions such as  "no, it wasn't like that..." while suggestions that it was a good thing to kill a god has seen Baltimoreans say "yes, but...it's hard to explain..." Emotions on record range from celebratory to grieving to indignant to harrowed to at peace to furious to revulsed, all from the same person in quick succession - the only Baltimorean to ever go on record about it. The only things that can be said in confidence about the event are:
-# The entire city participated in the act
-# The Baltimore Crabs were essential in the striking of the killing blow
-# It had to be done.
-When the Olde One died, her carapace painted the horizon, the weight of her bent the city from outside of space, and chum flowed from her grievous wounds and sweetened the brackish waters. The scent of celery and paprika filled the air, and crustaceans saturated the land and the sea. The [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation carcinization] process came uncapped, a new strength granted to the residents of Baltimore. The city entered a period of grieving, where many would walk the emptied carapace of the MotherCrab’s fractal body or row barnacled gondolas through fields of still-twitching legs rising from the murk, and ask her for guidance, or for a helping claw in their carcinization. He still taught them things, still answered when called, but they no longer baked souffles together.
-== Relationship to the Crabs ==
-<small>For a full description of the Olde One's relationship to the Crabs into the Internet League, see [[Crabitat]]</small>
-<br />The Big Crab is said to have the capacity to bless the players of the Baltimore Crabs, and is rumored to be the one responsible for [[PolkaDot Patterson]]'s unusual 87 fingers. Members of the Baltimore Crabs are known to worship The Mother Crab as opposed to the gods of Blaseball. This unusual conviction was ratified by The Commissioner after the happenings of the [[Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict]], as recompense for their aid as well as their silence.<br />
-== Controversies ==
-Some sources claim that [[PolkaDot Patterson]] is, rather than a blaseball player blessed by The Big Crab, a reincarnation of Mr. Trash Wheel itself. Official experts on [[Carcinianity]] dispute this claim, citing various religious texts. One of the most commonly cited texts states: <blockquote>They Who Lay In Slumber Under The Oldest Bay shan't be killed, as such would mean they have lived." -Crabitalism, Georg 3: 11-17, Horx Myxln.</blockquote> This doctrine has lost even more support due to Patterson's defection to the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] at the beginning of [[Season 3]]. However, stout believers maintain that Patterson is still an incarnation of Big Debrah, and that this is the beginning of the grand [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation carcinization].
-While it is commonly accepted that Ny'el'g'shuth Sh'ai'c'll'll'claroth lays dormant in Baltimore harbor, other interpretations of sacred texts might suggest Lake Ontario, Niagara Falls, the Hang Son Doon cave system, or even Marineland Location 237-1 found in London England to be their resting site.
-Due to many striking similarities, it is commonly thought that [[Debra Barlone]] from the hit series [[Everyone Loves Raylmond]] is directly inspired by Big Debrah. This, however, has been staunchly denied by [[Phlilip Rosenthlal]], citing in an interview that he "simply loves [...] my wife [...] and didn't mean any connection that there may be".
+{{IRM|Subject=Olde One|title=Conflicting Histories|intro=If you ask 10 people who she was you will get 11 answers back. Rather than try and determine the truth of the matter we are simply choosing to record each one in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill as we come across it.|format=vignette}}
+----
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