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| | == Known Deliveries == | | == Known Deliveries == |
| − | | + | <!-- if you would like to add a new order, add it to the list on the D/orders page --> |
| − | Items logged in the “Delivery” section of the Crabitat’s annual expense report include:
| + | {{:DD/orders|The latest items logged in the “Delivery” section of the Crabitat’s annual expense report are featured below, and are updated every time the app refreshes, though all known entries can be found [[DD/orders|here]].|10}} |
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| − | <choose uncached><option>25 kosher hot dogs (raw)</option>
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| − | <option>12 iced Dunkin Donuts coffees with blueberry flavor shots</option>
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| − | <option>6 orders of hot wings, 1 chicken alfredo pizza (XL), 1 meat lovers’ pizza (XL), 1 garden pizza (XL), 2 bottles of antacid tablets, 1 large jug of Arizona iced tea</option>
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| − | <option>1 container Tide Pods, Fresh Coral Blast scent</option>
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| − | <option>1 dozen Maryland blue crabs (live)</option>
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| − | <option>1 2 liter bottle Pepsi, 1 gallon milk</option>
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| − | <option>13 share size M&Ms, 1 share size Skittles</option>
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| − | <option>5 cheesesteak subs (1 no onions, 1 no lettuce no tomato, 1 lettuce and mayo only, 1 onions only, 1 with “wet hot peppers”)</option>
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| − | <option>1 7.5 lb container Old Bay, 1 box firecrackers, 2 rolls paper towels</option>
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| − | <option>1 small sweet and sour chicken, 1 small beef with broccoli, 1 small shrimp in lobster sauce, 1 large pork fried rice, 1 pint hot and sour soup, 5 bags “just the crunchy soup wontons”, 2 boxes steamed pork dumplings</option>
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| − | <option>1 six-pack Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Mountain Dew</option>
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| − | <option>2 bags sour gummy worms, 1 bag black Australian licorice, 1 box strawberry toaster strudel, 1 can mango slices in syrup, 1 package Hostess orange cupcakes, 1 bag Jolly Ranchers, 2 bottles Code Red Mountain Dew, 1 lemonade Slurpee, 1 can Arnold Palmer, 1 bottle lemon-lime Gatorade</option>
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| − | <option>2 dozen glazed donuts, 1 black coffee</option>
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| − | <option>1 small box of BLEGO food items</option>
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| − | <option>3 family size deluxe caesar salads</option>
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| − | <option>1 roll Mentos, 1 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola</option>
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| − | <option>1/2 gallon half & half, 1/2 gallon almond milk, 2lb bag sugar</option>
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| − | <option>5 chocolate milkshakes, 3 vanilla milkshakes, 2 strawberry milkshakes, 1 cookies and cream milkshake, 1 cake batter milkshake, 1 mint chocolate chip milkshake</option>
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| − | <option>1 small ice cream cake with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY FINN” written in frosting</option>
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| − | <option>1 Carvel brand Fudgey the Whale ice cream cake with “RIV JON HALIFAX” written in frosting</option>
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| − | <option>1 large cookie cake with “WE SORRY KEN” written in frosting</option>
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| − | <option>Unnamed player’s personal dry cleaning</option>
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| − | <option>30 sausage and egg mcmuffins</option>
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| − | <option>31 sausage and egg mcmuffins</option>
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| − | <option>3 2lb buckets of fish food</option>
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| − | <option>2 tubs of protein powder</option>
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| − | <option>Lot of 32 Blarbie dolls</option>
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| − | <option>5 3lb boxes iodized salt</option>
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| − | <option>2 family size bags of Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos</option>
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| − | <option>3 dozen poppyseed bagels, one poppyseed bagel sub seeds for fish food</option>
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| − | <option>6 dozen eggs, 2 lbs shredded cheddar cheese, 3 gallons vanilla oat milk</option>
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| − | <option>17 eggs (raw), 1 egg (scrambled)</option>
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| − | <option>1 Sabrina the Teenage Witch DVD box set, 3 boxes microwave popcorn, 1 container seasoning salt, 1 box butter</option>
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| − | <option>party platter of Gliant Store Brand Sushi</option>
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| − | <option>Blood.</option>
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| − | <option>1 lb of red glitter, 1 lb of burnt orange glitter, 2 gallons Elmers school glue</option>
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| − | <option>1 64 pack AA batteries
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| − | 1 64 pack AAA batteries (2 minutes after the previous item was delivered)</option>
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| − | <option>32 sausage bacon and egg mcmuffins</option>
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| − | <option>2 baguettes (stale)</option>
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| − | <option>1 SodaStream, 1 gallon milk</option>
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| − | <option>1 carton strawberries, 1 raw chicken</option>
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| − | <option>2 large watermelon, 2 cantaloupe, 12 oranges, 1 pineapple, 8 apples</option>
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| − | <option>1 large canister food grade CO2</option>
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| − | <option>1 “I Got Crabs In Ocean City Maryland” T-Shirt, 1 strawberry-kiwi smoothie</option>
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| − | <option>3 Gallons Apple Cranberry Juice</option>
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| − | <option>1 canister of black spray paint, 1 canister of red spray paint, 1 tin of rat poison, and 1 can of Cheese Whiz</option>
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| − | <option>1 canister compressed air, 1 Zippo lighter, 1 pack sparklers</option>
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| − | <option>1 pack Camel 99s</option>
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| − | <option>1 jug of laundry detergent</option>
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| − | <option>12 cans of Fancy Feast</option>
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| − | <option>6 Clhristmas mugs that read “I’m the reason there’s a Naughty List” (ordered in July)</option>
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| − | <option>4ft tall statue of a moose</option>
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| − | <option>As many plastic fairy figurines that can fit in [DD’s] pockets inconspicuously</option>
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| − | <option>5000 finely aged tires, 700 pounds of cigarette butts, a live ball python (included in expense report was a trailer rental)</option>
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| − | <option>3 $50 gift cards to Golden Corral (dropped off at an undisclosed location)</option>
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| − | <option>Enough temporary tattoos to cover a full-grown adult from neck-down.</option>
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| − | <option>2 bags of ferret food</option>
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| − | <option>1 blahaj, 1 birthday card reading “happy birthday chorby”, for delivery into the trench</option>
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| − | <option>1 chicken burrito with white rice, black beans, cheese, lettuce, and sour cream. 1 medium sprite. 1 side of chips and guac. one of those tiny plastic cups filled to the brim with chipotle flavor tabasco brand hot sauce. extra napkins.</option>
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| − | <option>8 4 oz jars craft glitter, 1 can compressed air</option>
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| − | <option>[REDACTED]</option>
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| − | <option>1 jar of pickles, hold the pickles.</option>
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| − | <option>1 LED Christmas tree soldering practice kit, 1 Hlakko k-tip, 1 Hlakko soldering iron, 1 build your own ham radio kit, 1 small spool of desoldering braid, 1 6oz container of liquid flux, 1 large spool of extra lead soldering wire</option>
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| − | <option>2 tubes of burn ointment</option>
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| − | <option>45 cinnamon scented car air fresheners</option>
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| − | <option>724 LED Lights, 3 mirrors, a back-up generator</option>
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| − | <option>Got2Be silver hair dye, 1 gallon of bleach</option>
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| − | <option>One (1) Banana (Note: Returned)</option>
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| − | <option>2 containers of Pillsbury ready bake cookie dough</option>
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| − | <option>1 can whipped cream, 1 can Old Bay, 1 hot chocolate mix</option>
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| − | <option>Mango Madness flavored blood</option>
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| − | <option>1 peanut, no shell</option>
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| − | <option>1 peanut, shell only</option>
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| − | <option>99 melted sundaes </option>
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| − | <option>🩳</option>
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| − | <option>As many bottles of peach-blend wine (very fizzy) as can fit in a salmon cannon</option>
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| − | <option>quote ‘as much live salmon as you can buy using Kennedy Loser’s credit card’</option>
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| − | <option>One live softshell crab and pair of kitchen shears, delivery instructions: “arrive at midnight under the full moon. Travel to the crest of the Crabitat, equidistant from each eyestalk. Once there, recite the following: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Take the kitchen shears and quickly cut off the front of the crab 1/4” behind the eyes. Drain the blood onto the stadium below. [DATA EXPUNGED]. Return home.”</option>
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| − | <option>1 pint of neapolitan ice cream, 1 antique fork</option>
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| − | </choose>
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| − | | |
| | ---- | | ---- |
| | <references /> | | <references /> |
| | {{TeamNavSelector|Baltimore Crabs}} | | {{TeamNavSelector|Baltimore Crabs}} |
| | {{TeamCategorySelector|Baltimore Crabs}} | | {{TeamCategorySelector|Baltimore Crabs}} |
This page relies heavily on the choose function. Reload to see a different version or see source to see all options.
COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
DD (commonly thought to stand for Doordash Driver or Delivery Driver) is the Baltimore Crabs’ personal food delivery driver, held on retainer as a staff member of the Crabitat.
History
Not much is known about DD, including her legal name, but she is a college student in the Baltimore area. When approached for comment by Baltimore Sun reporters, Crabs pitcher Alston Cerveza had only positive things to say about “DD’s punctuality”, her “propensity for delivering even the strangest of requests”, and “the good fortune [the Crabs] had in poaching her from her previous place of employment”.
DD is known to drive a silver 2004 Toyota Corolla (which, despite being given multiple Baltimore Crabs bumper stickers, does not bear a single one), and can often be seen making drop-offs at the Crabitat after hours. She is believed to occasionally deliver more than just food, but has declined to comment publicly on any of the team’s orders.
Known Deliveries
Orders for the Baltimore Crabs
The latest items logged in the “Delivery” section of the Crabitat’s annual expense report are featured below, and are updated every time the app refreshes, though all known entries can be found
here.
1 container Tide Pods, Fresh Coral Blast scent
Lot of 32 Blarbie dolls
1/2 gallon half & half, 1/2 gallon almond milk, 2lb bag sugar
1 blahaj, 1 birthday card reading “happy birthday chorby”, for delivery into the trench
One live softshell crab and pair of kitchen shears, delivery instructions: “arrive at midnight under the full moon. Travel to the crest of the Crabitat, equidistant from each eyestalk. Once there, recite the following: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Take the kitchen shears and quickly cut off the front of the crab 1/4” behind the eyes. Drain the blood onto the stadium below. [DATA EXPUNGED]. Return home.”
5 cheesesteak subs (1 no onions, 1 no lettuce no tomato, 1 lettuce and mayo only, 1 onions only, 1 with “wet hot peppers”)
1 peanut, shell only
5 chocolate milkshakes, 3 vanilla milkshakes, 2 strawberry milkshakes, 1 cookies and cream milkshake, 1 cake batter milkshake, 1 mint chocolate chip milkshake
45 cinnamon scented car air fresheners
12 cans of Fancy Feast
