DD/orders

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< DD

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Orders for the Baltimore Crabs

The following items have been logged in the “Delivery” section of the Baltimore Crabs’s annual expense report, and have been delivered by DD:

5 cheesesteak subs (1 no onions, 1 no lettuce no tomato, 1 lettuce and mayo only, 1 onions only, 1 with “wet hot peppers”)

6 dozen eggs, 2 lbs shredded cheddar cheese, 3 gallons vanilla oat milk

1 7.5 lb container Old Bay, 1 box firecrackers, 2 rolls paper towels

Blood.

Unnamed player’s personal dry cleaning

31 sausage and egg mcmuffins

5000 finely aged tires, 700 pounds of cigarette butts, a live ball python (included in expense report was a trailer rental)

1 pack Camel 99s

3 Gallons Apple Cranberry Juice

2 large watermelon, 2 cantaloupe, 12 oranges, 1 pineapple, 8 apples

12 iced Dunkin Donuts coffees with blueberry flavor shots

1 LED Christmas tree soldering practice kit, 1 Hlakko k-tip, 1 Hlakko soldering iron, 1 build your own ham radio kit, 1 small spool of desoldering braid, 1 6oz container of liquid flux, 1 large spool of extra lead soldering wire

1 “I Got Crabs In Ocean City Maryland” T-Shirt, 1 strawberry-kiwi smoothie

30 sausage and egg mcmuffins

1 large cookie cake with “WE SORRY KEN” written in frosting

1 pint of neapolitan ice cream, 1 antique fork

party platter of Gliant Store Brand Sushi

1 container Tide Pods, Fresh Coral Blast scent

1 blahaj, 1 birthday card reading “happy birthday chorby”, for delivery into the trench

1 lb of red glitter, 1 lb of burnt orange glitter, 2 gallons Elmers school glue

99 melted sundaes

2 tubs of protein powder

2 tubes of burn ointment

1 six-pack Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Mountain Dew

1 canister compressed air, 1 Zippo lighter, 1 pack sparklers

3 dozen poppyseed bagels, one poppyseed bagel sub seeds for fish food

45 cinnamon scented car air fresheners

5 3lb boxes iodized salt

1 large canister food grade CO2

1 jug of laundry detergent

1 chicken burrito with white rice, black beans, cheese, lettuce, and sour cream. 1 medium sprite. 1 side of chips and guac. one of those tiny plastic cups filled to the brim with chipotle flavor tabasco brand hot sauce. extra napkins.

1 Carvel brand Fudgey the Whale ice cream cake with “RIV JON HALIFAX” written in frosting

1 peanut, shell only

1 Sabrina the Teenage Witch DVD box set, 3 boxes microwave popcorn, 1 container seasoning salt, 1 box butter

2 dozen glazed donuts, 1 black coffee

As many bottles of peach-blend wine (very fizzy) as can fit in a salmon cannon

1 SodaStream, 1 gallon milk

One (1) Banana (Note: Returned)

17 eggs (raw), 1 egg (scrambled)

4ft tall statue of a moose

[REDACTED]

2 bags sour gummy worms, 1 bag black Australian licorice, 1 box strawberry toaster strudel, 1 can mango slices in syrup, 1 package Hostess orange cupcakes, 1 bag Jolly Ranchers, 2 bottles Code Red Mountain Dew, 1 lemonade Slurpee, 1 can Arnold Palmer, 1 bottle lemon-lime Gatorade

1 peanut, no shell

6 Clhristmas mugs that read “I’m the reason there’s a Naughty List” (ordered in July)

6 orders of hot wings, 1 chicken alfredo pizza (XL), 1 meat lovers’ pizza (XL), 1 garden pizza (XL), 2 bottles of antacid tablets, 1 large jug of Arizona iced tea

2 family size bags of Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos

3 2lb buckets of fish food

12 cans of Fancy Feast

1 canister of black spray paint, 1 canister of red spray paint, 1 tin of rat poison, and 1 can of Cheese Whiz

Mango Madness flavored blood

3 $50 gift cards to Golden Corral (dropped off at an undisclosed location)

3 family size deluxe caesar salads

Enough temporary tattoos to cover a full-grown adult from neck-down.

1 dozen Maryland blue crabs (live)

One live softshell crab and pair of kitchen shears, delivery instructions: “arrive at midnight under the full moon. Travel to the crest of the Crabitat, equidistant from each eyestalk. Once there, recite the following: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Take the kitchen shears and quickly cut off the front of the crab 1/4” behind the eyes. Drain the blood onto the stadium below. [DATA EXPUNGED]. Return home.”

5 chocolate milkshakes, 3 vanilla milkshakes, 2 strawberry milkshakes, 1 cookies and cream milkshake, 1 cake batter milkshake, 1 mint chocolate chip milkshake

Got2Be silver hair dye, 1 gallon of bleach

1/2 gallon half & half, 1/2 gallon almond milk, 2lb bag sugar

As many plastic fairy figurines that can fit in DD’s pockets inconspicuously

1 small ice cream cake with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY FINN” written in frosting

13 share size M&Ms, 1 share size Skittles

32 sausage bacon and egg mcmuffins

2 baguettes (stale)

1 small box of BLEGO food items

🩳

724 LED Lights, 3 mirrors, a back-up generator

1 small sweet and sour chicken, 1 small beef with broccoli, 1 small shrimp in lobster sauce, 1 large pork fried rice, 1 pint hot and sour soup, 5 bags “just the crunchy soup wontons”, 2 boxes steamed pork dumplings

1 2 liter bottle Pepsi, 1 gallon milk

Lot of 32 Blarbie dolls

2 containers of Pillsbury ready bake cookie dough

1 jar of pickles, hold the pickles.

1 carton strawberries, 1 raw chicken

1 64 pack AA batteries
1 64 pack AAA batteries (2 minutes after the previous item was delivered)

2 bags of ferret food

8 4 oz jars craft glitter, 1 can compressed air

25 kosher hot dogs (raw)

1 roll Mentos, 1 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola

quote ‘as much live salmon as you can buy using Kennedy Loser’s credit card’

1 can whipped cream, 1 can Old Bay, 1 hot chocolate mix