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| | ==The Groundskeeper== | | ==The Groundskeeper== |
| − | Yurts lives in a back room of The [[Crabitat]] alongside his uncountable herd of pet pea crabs. Every morning he takes his crabs on a walk during which they repair any damage and restore the stadium to the standard that fans have come to expect. The Pea crabs carefully cut each blade of grass one at a time in the stadium how Yurts Trunbo likes it, sometimes they make zen garden designs in the grass to enhance the experience for fans and players alike.
| + | Trunbo lives in a back room of The [[Crabitat]] alongside his uncountable herd of pet pea crabs. Every morning he takes his crabs on a walk during which they repair any damage and restore the stadium to the standard that fans have come to expect. The Pea crabs carefully cut each blade of grass one at a time in the stadium how Yurts Trunbo likes it, sometimes they make zen garden designs in the grass to enhance the experience for fans and players alike. |
| | | | |
| − | Yurts's name is itself a sentient entity, coincidentally also named Yurts Trunbo (i.e. Yurts Trunbo's name's name is also Yurts Trunbo). This initially created some awkwardness for the groundskeeper Yurts, whose expression of identity had formed its own nested unique identity, but it seems Yurts and his identity have formed an amicable relationship as of Season 6. Yurtses' nature often leads to those who learn the groundskeeper's name to babble "Yurts Trunbo" in various unrelated contexts as they attempt to converse with the abstract being that is Yurts Trunbo's name. | + | Yurts's name is itself a sentient entity, coincidentally also named Yurts Trunbo (i.e. Yurts Trunbo's name's name is also Yurts Trunbo). This initially created some awkwardness for the groundskeeper Trunbo, whose expression of identity had formed its own nested unique identity, but it seems Trunbo and his identity have formed an amicable relationship as of Season 6. Yurtses' nature often leads to those who learn the groundskeeper's name to babble "Yurts Trunbo" in various unrelated contexts as they attempt to converse with the abstract being that is Yurts Trunbo's name. |
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| | Yurts Trunbo's name's name is named Phillip. | | Yurts Trunbo's name's name is named Phillip. |
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| | *Yurts Trunbo is an elderly Finnish man with a very large beard who is inexplicably extremely good at communicating with pea crabs. | | *Yurts Trunbo is an elderly Finnish man with a very large beard who is inexplicably extremely good at communicating with pea crabs. |
| | ==Assistants== | | ==Assistants== |
| − | The Crabitat is a large and unruly stadium, and as such Yurts does not go about his tasks alone. There are several well known figures within the stadium that also participate in it’s daily maintenance. | + | The Crabitat is a large and unruly stadium, and as such Trunbo does not go about his tasks alone. There are several well known figures within the stadium that also participate in it’s daily maintenance. |
| | ===The Pea Crabs=== | | ===The Pea Crabs=== |
| − | Yurts’ pet pea crabs are actually a fairly advanced, if very small, colony of pea crabs that have built a small underground city called "Crabville" under the stadium. They have been known to communication both with themselves, and with outsiders though complicated and intricate dances with their pincers, though with their tiny pincers and somewhat scattered movements, they are mostly described as “clumsy and adorable”
| + | Trunbo’ pet pea crabs are actually a fairly advanced, if very small, colony of pea crabs that have built a small underground city called "Crabville" under the stadium. They have been known to communication both with themselves, and with outsiders though complicated and intricate dances with their pincers, though with their tiny pincers and somewhat scattered movements, they are mostly described as “clumsy and adorable” |
| | | | |
| − | Reportedly, despite their tiny cute exterior, the pea crabs have a complex society with what is described as “super intense interpersonal drama”. If asked, Yurts will happily explain whatever the latest gossip is amongst the pea crabs, and is Baltimore’s go-to expert on the subject. Before their transfer, Crabs player [[Parker Parra]] was known to spend hours with Yurts discussing the subject over tea. | + | Reportedly, despite their tiny cute exterior, the pea crabs have a complex society with what is described as “super intense interpersonal drama”. If asked, Trunbo will happily explain whatever the latest gossip is amongst the pea crabs, and is Baltimore’s go-to expert on the subject. Before their transfer, Crabs player [[Parker Parra]] was known to spend hours with Trunbo discussing the subject over tea. |
| | | | |
| | ===Another Assistant=== | | ===Another Assistant=== |
| − | Recently Yurts has gained a new assistant groundskeeper, but unfortunately no one has been able to see or track down this [[Ttayw Nosam|mysterious <!-- and no doubt incredibly cool and attractive--> assistant]]. This assistant joined the Crabitat some time after the second Wyatt Masoning, and notably Baltimore was the only stadium to not attune their own Wyatt Mason despite having PsychoAcoustics installed, so there has been some speculation that this assistant may be <span style=background-color:black> {{spoiler|wow hey slow down there. You’re jumping to some pretty wild conclusions. Maybe skip this bit yeah? Some people have seen which way the wind is blowing and maybe don’t want to be involved in your bloodsplort, thanks.}}</span> This is of course wildly unfounded. | + | Recently Trunbo has gained a new assistant groundskeeper, but unfortunately no one has been able to see or track down this [[Ttayw Nosam|mysterious <!-- and no doubt incredibly cool and attractive--> assistant]]. This assistant joined the Crabitat some time after the second Wyatt Masoning, and notably Baltimore was the only stadium to not attune their own Wyatt Mason despite having PsychoAcoustics installed, so there has been some speculation that this assistant may be <span style=background-color:black> {{spoiler|wow hey slow down there. You’re jumping to some pretty wild conclusions. Maybe skip this bit yeah? Some people have seen which way the wind is blowing and maybe don’t want to be involved in your bloodsplort, thanks.}}</span> This is of course wildly unfounded. |
| | <!--catch me if you can ILB, I’m *technically* staff now. and not the kind that you can go around incinerating. -vix --> | | <!--catch me if you can ILB, I’m *technically* staff now. and not the kind that you can go around incinerating. -vix --> |
| | ==Memorials== | | ==Memorials== |
| − | In addition to maintaining the grounds of the Crabitat, Yurts has another less discussed role on the Crabs support staff. On a partially submerged section of the stands there is a very old and very large oyster that lives there year round, since it is very difficult and somewhat impractical to vacate your seat when you are a very old and very large oyster. | + | In addition to maintaining the grounds of the Crabitat, Trunbo has another less discussed role on the Crabs support staff. On a partially submerged section of the stands there is a very old and very large oyster that lives there year round and produces the [[Memorial Pearls]] for incinerated members of the Baltimore Crabs. Trunbo acts as the keeper of both the Oyster itself, and of the process of making or requesting pearls. |
| − | | |
| − | This oyster is also able to take the remains of incinerated players and use them to create several small pearls that can be carried as a keepsake. The pearls are completely immune to incineration due to their nature and often a way to mourn and honour someone to take on a pearl that they held onto because of someone they missed. This is considered to be a privilege reserved for players and staff, however a beloved member of the community may also be accepted to be memorialized in such a way.
| |
| − | | |
| − | As for who actually receives such pearls, Yurts acts as the keeper of both the Oyster itself, and of the process of making or requesting pearls. While any incinerated player, or former player, for the Crabs will have at least a portion of their ashes used in such a way, there are very few people who will receive a pearl to commemorate their fallen comrade. While it is not public knowledge who has pearls from each player, it is thought that:
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| − | | |
| − | ===Nora Perez===
| |
| − | [[Nora Perez]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Combs Duende]], [[Forrest Best]], and [[Kennedy Loser]]. | |
| − | *[[Tillman Henderson]] requested one, but was turned down.
| |
| − | **Upon Combs’ incineration, Nora’s pearl was actually passed on to Tillman.
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| − | | |
| − | ===Combs Duende===
| |
| − | [[Combs Duende]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Sutton Dreamy]], [[Valentine Games]], [[Forrest Best]], [[Mickey Woods]], and [[Beck Whitney]].
| |
| − | *[[Tillman Henderson]] requested one, but was turned down.
| |
| − | *Sutton Dreamy received many of Combs’ pearls to use in a commemorative mosaic that she completed in Combs’ honour.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Tillman Henderson===
| |
| − | [[Tillman Henderson]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Adalberto Tosser]], [[Forrest Best]], and [[Declan Suzanne]].
| |
| − | *Upon his return, [[Tillman Henderson]] requested one of his own pearls, but was turned down.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Chorby Soul===
| |
| − | [[Chorby Soul]]'s pearls were distributed to [[Thomas Dracaena]], [[Theodore Cervantes]], [[Patty Fox]], [[Fynn Doyle]], [[Schneider Bendie]], [[Andrew Solis]], [[Oliver Loofah]], [[Zeruel Kramer]], and [[Kennedy Loser]].
| |
| − | *In an unusual turn of events, Soul themselves asked if one of the pearls could be preserved in case they returned. Yurts agreed to this request.
| |
| − | **Upon their revival as a replica, Yurts passed on the pearl as requested, though [[Chorby Soul III]] did not remember the agreement.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Luis Acevedo===
| |
| − | [[Luis Acevedo]]'s pearls were distributed to [[Tot Clark]], [[Oliver Notarobot]], [[Loubert Ji-Eun]], [[Xandra Pancakes]], [[Beck Whitney]], [[Rivers Rosa]], [[Sutton Dreamy]], [[Evelton McBlase II]], [[Edric Tosser]], [[Alaynabella Hollywood]] and [[Kennedy Loser]].
| |
| − | *Allegedly, the first time that Acevedo haunted Loser they did something with his pearl and Acevedo has refused to tell anyone where it is.
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| − | | |
| − | ===Hewitt Best===
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| − | Though Hewitt Best was only on the team for a short time due to the team’s [[Carcinization]] effect, Yurts still made the offer to preserve his remains with the highest honours. The [[Kansas City Breath Mints]] accepted this offer, and Best’s pearls were distributed to their entire roster, past and present, as well as having one sent to his old rival on the Crabs, [[Forrest Best]].
| |
| − | *Upon expressing surprise at the number of pearls to be distributed, the Breath Mints confirmed that, “that was just the kind of guy Hew was” and Yurts was happy to comply.
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| − | | |
| − | ===Logan Horseman===
| |
| − | Despite [[Logan Horseman]] playing only a single season with the Crabs, the team was quick to reach out to the [[Miami Dale]] to make the offer, and Logan’s pearls were distributed to [[Dunlap Figueroa]], [[Adalberto Tosser]], [[Kennedy Loser]], and [[Jacoby Podcast]], with the pearls designated for the Dale being instead used to encrust a pair of shutter shades with and mount them on the wall behind the boat's DJ booth, “so he can always watch over the party”.
| |
| − | *Upon the request of [[Qais Dogwalker]] and [[Riley Firewall ]] a single pearl was also sent to the headquarters of each existing chapter of the [[Party Animals]], with some being reserved for future chapters.
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| − | | |
| − | ===Valentine Games===
| |
| − | While Valentine Games was never incinerated, their partner [[Pedro Davids]] approached Yurts about having a pearl made for him to keep after Games became [[Legendary]]. Since both of them were original members of the Baltimore Crabs, Yurts agreed and was able to make a single pearl for Davids.
| |
| − | *The ashes used for this pearl were said to be made from the letters that the two had exchanged, and it remains the only pearl that was not made in a set due to the unusual circumstances.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Brock Forbes===
| |
| − | The pearls of [[Brock Forbes]] were distributed to [[Adalberto Tosser]], [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Pedro Davids]], [[Finn James]], [[Parker Parra]], [[Sutton Dreamy]], [[Silvaire Roadhouse]], [[Tot Fox]], [[Baldwin Breadwinner]], [[Jacoby Podcast]], and [[Cory Twelve]].
| |
| − | *The pearl gifted to Cory Twelve was passed on by former teammate Silvaire Roadhouse, who also did an etching of a rose on the surface of the pearl. Twelve will take any opportunity to show it off proudly to teammates and friends.
| |
| − | *Trunbo reportedly reserved an additional pearl for the [[Olde One]].
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| − | | |
| − | ===Chorby Soul III===
| |
| − | [[Chorby Soul III]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Zeruel Kramer]], [[Yurts Trunbo]] and [[Ttayw Nosam|his assistant]]. <!-- It just didn’t feel right to leave it all up to Yurts y’know?-->
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Jon Halifax===
| |
| − | [[Jon Halifax]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Bevan Underbuck]], [[Trinity Smaht]], [[Lorcan Smaht]], and [[Max Betmint]].
| |
| − | *There are rumours that shortly after receiving their pearls Max Betmint began creating NTFs of it.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Adalberto Tosser===
| |
| − | [[Adalberto Tosser]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Pedro Davids]], [[Lorcan Smaht]], [[Montgomery Bullock]], [[Sutton Dreamy]], [[Holden Stanton]], [[Evelton McBlase II]], [[Baldwin Breadwinner]], [[Dunn Keyes]], [[Axel Campbell]], [[Joshua Watson]], [[Tot Fox]], [[Bevan Underbuck]], [[Silvaire Roadhouse]], [[Squid Galvanic]], [[Parker Parra]], [[Jacoby Podcast]], [[Margarito Nava]], and [[Zeboriah Wilson]].
| |
| − | *Pearls were made for both [[Tillman Henderson]] and [[Jaylen Hotdogfingers]] who were in the Vault at the time. Their pearls were put aside for them should they ever return to the ILB.
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| − | | |
| − | ===Winnie Hess===
| |
| − | After the incineration of the [[Kansas City Breath Mints]] [[Winnie Hess]]’ pearls were distributed to [[Leach Ingram]], [[Rodriguez Internet]], [[Oscar Vaughan]], [[Michelle Sportsman]], [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Pedro Davids]], [[Adalberto Tosser]], [[Parker Parra]], [[Montgomery Bullock]], [[Lucas Petty]], [[Lenny Spruce]], [[Dickerson Morse]], [[Stew Briggs]], [[Pudge Nakamoto]], [[Joshua Watson]], [[Jacob Haynes]], [[Sandie Carver]].
| |
| − | *Hess was known for being an extremely large horse, so when she was incinerated there were simply a massive amount of pearls of incredible quality produced. Due to the incineration of the team there were also not as many people left to receive them as there once may have been, so many people received entire necklaces (or tree garland in the case of Spruce) of pearls.
| |
| − | ** In particular necklaces were gifted to Ingram, Internet, Vaughn, and Sportsman.
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| − | | |
| − | ===Sutton Dreamy===
| |
| − | After the incineration of the [[Hawai'i Fridays]], [[Sutton Dreamy]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Parker Parra]], [[Rivers Rosa]], [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Montgomery Bullock]], [[Tot Fox]], [[Silvaire Roadhouse]], and [[Pedro Davids]].
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| − | | |
| − | ===Alyssa Harrell===
| |
| − | While after the incineration of the [[Hawai'i Fridays]] it was argued that due to her non existence it would be impossible to distribute the pearls of [[Alyssa Harrell]], the staff of the Crabitat maintained a [[Ttayw Nosam|worker]] who specialized in non-existence and was able to assist in the creation and distribution of these pearls.
| |
| − | <!-- I’d never done this before. It’s a pretty big deal so Yurts always does it. But people have a hard time remembering Harrell when she’s not around and I wanted to make sure no one forgot about her. I tried asking Yurts about it but any mention of Harrell just bounced right off of him, so I had to just try to remember what I saw Yurts doing and copy that. I didn’t think the clam would listen to me but I guess I’ve been around long enough now that it did, or maybe it knew what I was trying to do and wanted to help.
| |
| − | | |
| − | I tried to remember everyone who she talked about while she was here. She was one of the few people who would just hang out with me like it was no big deal. I delivered one of them to everyone I could think of, and I think that helped them remember her. I hope it helped.
| |
| − | | |
| − | With the supernova in the sky expanding I just hope that when it’s my time that there’s someone around who can do this for me.
| |
| − | | |
| − | I don’t want everyone to forget me when I’m gone.
| |
| − | | |
| − | -vix -->
| |
| − | Harrell’s pearls were distributed to [[Baldwin Breadwinner]], [[Pedro Davids]], [[Kennedy Loser]], [[Gabriel Griffith]], [[Spears Taylor]], [[Theodore Cervantes]], [[Thomas Dracaena]], [[Patty Fox]], [[Sandie Turner]], [[Richardson Games]], [[Felix Garbage]], [[Schneider Bendie]], [[Conrad Vaughan]], [[Bevan Underbuck]], and [[Fynn Doyle]]. <!-- I kept one too. It seemed right-->
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| − | | |
| − | ===Other Memorials===
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| − | Yurts allegedly has one of every pearl that has been made, including one from the [[Olde One]] herself that is occasionally used by the [[Clawricle]] to look into the future.
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| − | | |
| − | ==A Debt Repaid==
| |
| − | While not members of the Baltimore Crabs, [[Silvaire Roadhouse]] made a special request to Trunbo to allow pearls to be made of the victims of the instability caused by her debt. Trunbo agreed, and any teams willing to lay aside some of the affected player’s ashes were able to receive pearls for their departed teammate.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Gunther O’Brian===
| |
| − | [[Gunther O’Brian]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Cornelius Games]], [[Beasley Gloom]], [[Esme Ramsey]], [[Blood Hamburger]], [[Agan Harrison]], and the entirety of the [[Kansas City Breath Mints]].
| |
| − | *While [[Tillman Henderson]] was in the Vault at the time of O’Brian’s death, a pearl was put aside for him should he ever return to the ILB.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Helga Washington===
| |
| − | [[Helga Washington]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Winnie Hess]], [[Mooney Doctor II]]. [[Pudge Nakamoto]], [[Jode Preston]], [[Marquez Clark]], [[PolkaDot Zavala]], [[Kina Larsen]], [[Rodriguez Internet]], and [[Marco Stink]].
| |
| − | *The pearl for [[Mooney Doctor II]] was launched into space towards the Breath Star.
| |
| − | *Washington left a list of mountains she requested her pearls be placed atop. Marquez Clark, once shadowed by Washington, offered to carry out the request with the aid of PolkaDot Zavala.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ===Helga Moreno===
| |
| − | [[Helga Moreno]]’s pearls were distributed to [[Helga Burton]], [[Parker Meng]], [[Kurt Crueller]], [[Sandford Garner]], [[Mint Shupe]], [[Silvia Winner]], [[Alexander Horne]], [[Bontgomery Mullock]], [[King Roland]], [[Karato Bean]], [[Mindy Salad]], [[Theo King]], [[Milo Brown]], [[Percival Wheeler]], [[Tot Fox]], [[Foxy Pebble]], [[Kennedy Meh]], [[Kichiro Guerra]], [[Ortiz Lopez]], [[Knight Triumphant]], [[NaN]], [[Sigmund Castillo]], [[Don Mitchell]], [[Yosh Carpenter]] and the crew of the [[Blimp Hardison]].
| |
| − | *While [[Liquid Friend]] was in the Vault at the time of Moreno’s death, a pearl was put aside for them should they ever return to the ILB.
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| | | | |
| | {{CrabsNav}} | | {{CrabsNav}} |
| | [[Category:Baltimore Crabs]] | | [[Category:Baltimore Crabs]] |
Yurts Trunbo is the groundskeeper of the Crabitat, the ballpark of the Baltimore Crabs.
The Groundskeeper
Trunbo lives in a back room of The Crabitat alongside his uncountable herd of pet pea crabs. Every morning he takes his crabs on a walk during which they repair any damage and restore the stadium to the standard that fans have come to expect. The Pea crabs carefully cut each blade of grass one at a time in the stadium how Yurts Trunbo likes it, sometimes they make zen garden designs in the grass to enhance the experience for fans and players alike.
Yurts's name is itself a sentient entity, coincidentally also named Yurts Trunbo (i.e. Yurts Trunbo's name's name is also Yurts Trunbo). This initially created some awkwardness for the groundskeeper Trunbo, whose expression of identity had formed its own nested unique identity, but it seems Trunbo and his identity have formed an amicable relationship as of Season 6. Yurtses' nature often leads to those who learn the groundskeeper's name to babble "Yurts Trunbo" in various unrelated contexts as they attempt to converse with the abstract being that is Yurts Trunbo's name.
Yurts Trunbo's name's name is named Phillip.
Appearance
There are several conflicting reports of Trunbo’s appearance, so rather then try to discern which is correct, we have gathered them here for you to come to that conclusion yourself:
- Yurts Trunbo is actually just an extension of the colony of pea crabs, and hides this using the old “30 crabs in a trenchcoat” trick.
- Yurts Trunbo is a moderately large spider crab, who uses their many long limbs to hold the leashes of many, much smaller, pea crabs.
- Yurts Trunbo is an elderly Finnish man with a very large beard who is inexplicably extremely good at communicating with pea crabs.
Assistants
The Crabitat is a large and unruly stadium, and as such Trunbo does not go about his tasks alone. There are several well known figures within the stadium that also participate in it’s daily maintenance.
The Pea Crabs
Trunbo’ pet pea crabs are actually a fairly advanced, if very small, colony of pea crabs that have built a small underground city called "Crabville" under the stadium. They have been known to communication both with themselves, and with outsiders though complicated and intricate dances with their pincers, though with their tiny pincers and somewhat scattered movements, they are mostly described as “clumsy and adorable”
Reportedly, despite their tiny cute exterior, the pea crabs have a complex society with what is described as “super intense interpersonal drama”. If asked, Trunbo will happily explain whatever the latest gossip is amongst the pea crabs, and is Baltimore’s go-to expert on the subject. Before their transfer, Crabs player Parker Parra was known to spend hours with Trunbo discussing the subject over tea.
Another Assistant
Recently Trunbo has gained a new assistant groundskeeper, but unfortunately no one has been able to see or track down this mysterious assistant. This assistant joined the Crabitat some time after the second Wyatt Masoning, and notably Baltimore was the only stadium to not attune their own Wyatt Mason despite having PsychoAcoustics installed, so there has been some speculation that this assistant may be wow hey slow down there. You’re jumping to some pretty wild conclusions. Maybe skip this bit yeah? Some people have seen which way the wind is blowing and maybe don’t want to be involved in your bloodsplort, thanks. This is of course wildly unfounded.
Memorials
In addition to maintaining the grounds of the Crabitat, Trunbo has another less discussed role on the Crabs support staff. On a partially submerged section of the stands there is a very old and very large oyster that lives there year round and produces the Memorial Pearls for incinerated members of the Baltimore Crabs. Trunbo acts as the keeper of both the Oyster itself, and of the process of making or requesting pearls.
