Hotbox Sato

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Revision as of 23:58, 30 October 2020 by Arashi (talk | contribs) (Cleanup)

Hotbox Sato is a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and has been with the team since Season 4.

Official League Records

On Day 5 of Season 3, Sato joined the league as a member of the Boston Flowers when it replaced Bryanayah Chang after Chang's incineration.

On Day 58 of Season 4, Sato joined the Charleston Shoe Thieves due to a feedback swap with Morrow Doyle.

In the Season 10 elections, Sato received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Blaseball Career

Career with the Shoe Thieves

The Shoe Thieves were at first unaware they had received a player in exchange for Morrow Doyle, only realizing Hotbox Sato had been traded to their team after it triggered the smoke alarms in the Charleston clubhouse. After an evacuation and several attempts by the local fire department to find the source of the smoke, Velasquez Alstott discovered the word "Hello" and a rudimentary smiling face drawn in the soot on the clubhouse window. With the support from a coven of local witches, the Shoe Thieves were able to forge a psychic link with Sato, and with this new medium of communication soon welcomed Sato to the team.

Inducting Sato into the Charleston tradition of footwear larceny initially proved challenging as Sato found it tiring to wear shoes for an extended period of time, but pitcher Snyder Briggs suggested they burn some of the shoes left behind by Morrow Doyle, and Sato was able to successfully incorporate the resulting smoke into their own body, which manager Cornelius Games declared "Close enough for me."

While Sato is capable of maintaining a cohesive physical form, it prefers to relax by dispersing evenly throughout an entire room. To accommodate this, the Shoe Thieves removed all smoke detectors and fans from one of the lounges in the Charleston clubhouse, affectionately nicknaming it "the Shoebox".

Sato can often be found relaxing and watching old sitcoms in one of the Shoe Thieves' many piles of stolen shoes with Snyder Briggs, who it is reportedly particularly close to.

Additionally, Sato seems to have found itself a niche as a tutor for its fellow shoe thieves. While Sato was already familiar with ASL, it quickly learned LSQ to better communicate with teammate Joe Voorhees. Afterwards, Sato took it upon itself to try and teach the young Velasquez Alstott. While it can be difficult to impress the importance of topics aside from Blaseball and Shoe Larceny, Sato is more then willing to work within the metaphor of planning a heist to teach problem solving, though the three seem to view the lessons as more of a bonding experience than anything else.

Personal Life

Sato appears to be entirely made of smoke. No one is sure how it holds a bat, or catches a ball, but its results are undeniable. It is also a very straight-edged individual and in fact believes its name derives from saunas; it is therefore unknown at the current time whether the smoke has psychoactive chemicals in it.

There are rumors that Sato may be involved with former New York Millennials player Dominic Marijuana or current teammate Snyder Briggs.

Rivalry with Games

Sato first clashed with Shoe Thieves manager Cornelius Games after Sato's former blaseball teammate Isaac Rubberman was incinerated during Season 3. A rumor began to circulate that Games orchestrated Rubberman’s demise, as Games had been spotted telling Rubberman quote "I will kill you" very shortly beforehand. [1] Said threat was reportedly due to the fact that Rubberman's lack of footwear made thievery very difficult. Games quickly denied any connection to the umps: "Don’t be ridiculous. If I had that kind of power, Prestige would still be playing today. If the Commissioner himself cannot control these umpires, what makes you think I can?"

Sato responded to said rumor with a threat of its own, directing an ominous "don’t think I've forgotten" at Games.[2]  After Sato's swap to the Thieves in Season 4, climbing tensions resulted in the theft of three pairs of Games's signature 1920s Nubuck whites. The following altercation is not known in explicit terms to the public, but Sato made a public statement that Games had quote "convinced me that there were larger forces at play in Rubberman's death that I had not considered" and "displayed a very reassuring show of good faith." When asked if its quest for vengeance had entirely ceased or had instead merely changed its target, Sato chose to quote Games's oft-repeated line "What are you, a cop?" and disperse mistily from the podium.

The Smokehouse Gang

Upon Tillman Henderson's transfer to the Thieves, Briggs and Sato incorporated the new player into their dynamic. Henderson was spotted regularly joining the two for Sitcom Night, which seems to occur every evening. Shortly thereafter, Henderson began referring to the trio as "The Smokehouse Gang," evidently due to the fact that all three players are in some way affiliated with smoke. When questioned in an interview, Sato commented that "I really don’t think calling it 'The Smokehouse Gang' is a good idea." In an attempt to be respectful of Sato's wishes, the press dubbed the group the "I Really Don’t Think Calling It The Smokehouse Gang Is A Good Idea" gang, also known as the IRDTCITSGIAGI gang or The Smokehouse Gang for short. Most of the gang's activities continue to revolve around television in some capacity.

Gallery

References

  1. Cornelius Games [@og_sneakersneak] (7 Aug 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  2. Hotbox Sato [@SmokedOutfield] (26 Aug 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.