The Bone Zone

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

About Us!

Welcome to the Bone Zone! Located in an admittedly too small cave towards the northern edge of Hellmouth, the Bone Zone is Hellmouth’s first and only resurrected fossil preserve. The Bone Zone is supported by the Hellmouth Beautification Society and the Anti-Tourism Board to provide Hellmouthian locals a safe look at the resurrected bones of powerful prehistoric creatures without being fully torn to shreds.

As is policy, due to our proximity to the Hellmouth and work with the Anti-Tourism Board we ask that non-Hellmouthian residents proceed with extreme caution and avoid extended visitation if visiting at all.

Our Mission

The Bone Zone is dedicated to protecting the wild resurrected fossils of the Hellmouth while also protecting the community from them “absolutely destroying the place.”^[Who?] Of course we wish to also respect the beauty of these creatures we once thought were lost to history. Sure they are quite aggressive here in the new era, but some are pretty cool to look at. It would also be neat if they had skin and everything, provide a little more scientific insight or something, but you get what you get, y’know?

Really our mission is about keeping everybody safe. There is really little else that actually can be done here. However, since people also really wanted to see the dinosaurs we also provide tours throughout the Bone Zone as well to make sure people do not get “absolutely destroyed”^[Why?] by checking stuff out themselves. We try to not attack the fossils when we can, don’t want to chip them or anything, but for your safety we will! They just reform and get back up anyways, it’s totally fine.

In our work with the Hellmouth Beautification Society we also try to keep native species from being harmed by the fossils. This is not only to encourage the regrowth of flora and fauna populations found in the Hellmouth, but also to avoid freaking out the more intelligent flora and fauna of the area who may begin to deal with an existential breakdown due to seeing their own evolutionary ancestors just walking around. If you see any local flora or fauna present in the Bone Zone that is not a pre-Cambrian era fossil, please report to the Bone Zone Rangers immediately.

History

Following the opening of the Hellmouth strange things began to happen. The Bone Zone has always been in the Hellmouth! However, as the town of Hellmouth began to recover grow various residents began to become concerned with the presence of a massive area of land in which fossils began to come to life. The fossils were dangerous being undead and unregulated, but also unable to leave the area lest they turn to a pile of bones again. Initially, the Anti-Tourism Board suggested disallowing alive beings in this area altogether, but one visionary thought, “Nah people want to play with dinosaurs, let’s let them.” That visionary? Vernon T. Brae.

Brae was famous mostly amongst family and friends for wandering through the area that would soon become The Bone Zone and was highly dedicated to it staying open. Brae also had zero professional wildlife experience. Luckily with the assistance of the Anti-Tourism Board, professors as well as former students of the Hellmouth Community College Wildlife Management department, and various random friends of Brae’s The Bone Zone was founded.

The initial set-up of The Bone Zone was quite simple, visitors would be welcome to wander the area with the presence of various protectors and guides, formally titled as a Ranger, who would be present to allow them safety wherever their dinosaur exploits may take them. Since then Brae’s original mission has expanded and grown to more than a dozen random people as Rangers who really are just trying to keep you from getting stepped on, look we know that they physically cannot eat you, but that does not fix everything, and who are more than equipped than ever to allow you to explore the beauty of The Bone Zone. In the wise words of Vernon T. Brae, “People just want to hang out with undead bones. That’s cool. Let’s let them, we just need a couple dudes to make sure that doesn’t go wrong probably.” And he was right.^{[Citation Needed]}

About The Rangers

The Rangers of The Bone Zone are a highly trained group who are dedicated to keep The Bone Zone up and running. Most of this operation includes fighting off undead fossils to keep them from attacking visitors, but there are other programs you can inquire into including:

• The tag and release program.
• The Fossil identification programs.
• Various tour guides for school trips and other leisure or educational purposes.
• Visitor search and retrieval experts.
• Bone search and retrieval experts.
• Jlurassic Plark reenactments.
• Adopt a fossil (symbolic).
• Adopt a fossil (literal).
• Medical Team.
• Birthday parties and weddings.
• And More!

If you enjoy a wild, fun workplace environment please contact The Bone Zone’s Head of Operations and Head Ranger, Mani Diable, to join the team.

Plan Your Visit

Excited to visit The Bone Zone? We’re excited to see you. For all visitors we do ask the following rules and regulations be followed:

• The Bone Zone is always open, but the amount of Rangers available may change with the time of day. Please plan accordingly.
• Make sure to get in contact with a Ranger at the start of your visit. Though there is no law to mandate the signing of a waiver for Hellmouthians, non-Hellmouthian visitors tend to like that sort of thing and we can provide that. Also, if you would like said Ranger to guide you along your visit, be sure to ask that as well.
• For non-Hellmouthian visitors: The Anti-Tourism Board has set up and maintains various safe entrances, paths, and exits for those unfamiliar with the Hellmouth. Though we have no means of mandating this be followed, it is heavily advised to keep to this rule for your safety and enjoyment. Mostly safety.
• No pets are allowed. Sentient animals technically are, but do note that this may be a highly uncomfortable experience for you if you so choose to visit. Especially birds. Caution is advised and The Bone Zone is not liable for any existential damages caused by being a sentient animal.
• Do not feed the fossils. They cannot eat anyways. They are just bones.
• Any other questions or inquiries may be sent to The Bone Zone through whatever means necessary and will be found by a Ranger in as timely a manner as possible.

We hope you enjoy your visit and don’t forget to visit the gift shop!