Lowe Forbes

Lowe Forbes
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Basic Information
Position	Pitcher
Team	Boston Flowers
Status	Incinerated
Batting	(2.8)
Pitching	(4.2)
Defense	(4.1)
Running	(3.7)
Items	Underhanded Ring ●○
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020 – present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Eating fans
Coffee Style	Macchiato
Blood Type	Electric
Fate	73
Biographical Details
Pronouns	They/Them
Other Background Information
Instrument	???

Lowe Forbes is a pitcher for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Forbes joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season 7, Day 56, Forbes siphoned some of Unlimited Tacos batter Basilio Mason's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from to .

On Season 13, Day 64, Forbes became a lineup player due to Reverb.

On Season 16, Day 56, Forbes became a pitcher again due to Reverb.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Miscellania

Forbes' pregame ritual has caused large amounts of confusion, as few realize the "fans" they refer to are box fans, ceiling fans, and other cooling fans of that sort. Further complicating matters is Forbes' use of a blindfold, causing them to periodically mistake people who introduce themselves as fans for animate cooling fans. Typically, a teammate, staff member, or other fan will shoo Forbes away from the target fan using a broom, saxophone, or other such implement. On the few occasions where nobody is around to assist the targeted fan, Forbes is reported to have begun to bite the fan, but then realized the error and stopped.

The Jazz Hands refer to Forbes as Lowe "Lowe-ded Bases" Forbes. Forbes initially only had a one-star rating in part because of their insistence on playing with a blindfold on "for the challenge." This changed starting in Season 7 as Forbes began siphoning pitching ability from other players in the ILB. Forbes believes this is a manifestation of their vampiric powers, as they once bit former teammate Alexandria Dracaena, noted vampire. When an interviewer pointed out that this is not how vampires traditionally work, they cited their hatred of onions, tendency to sunburn, and inability to see themself in a mirror (while wearing their blindfold) as evidence of being a vampire. A letter from a Jazz Hands union laundry worker later hypothesized that Forbes' improvement could be due to their blindfold wearing thin, suggesting Forbes is actually an extremely strong pitcher under normal circumstances.

Forbes has made it on the Forbes list of Worst Blaseball Pitchers named Forbes. Because Forbes shares a last name with Brock Forbes, Lowe Forbes incorrectly believes that the two are married, claiming that the marriage is for "tax evasion". Brock Forbes is unaware of this.

The LoweNandy Infinirivalry

The rivalry between Forbes and Nandy Slumps is a common source of stories across multiple dimensions, though they are typically little more than Rumors. One such rumor is presented below.

In the Blaseball Quarterly Theater review showcase, Lowe's Shakespearean magnum opus was the subject of a roundtable discussion. The show was a one-person version of Twelfth Night set in cold-war era Finland, where Lowe played every character, spoken entirely in Finnish while still in iambic Pentameter. The roundtable heaped near unanimous acclaim and glowing reviews. Except for lone dissenting voice Nandy Slumps, who claimed that the show was 'pretty standard, not very impressive or unique" and that Lowe's performance was "easy enough anyone could do it" and "somehow they're a worse actor than they are pitcher". An infuriated Lowe fired back by writing: "A REVIEW OF NANDY SLUMPS THE PERSON" which was published in Forbe's self published newspaper THE LOWE FORBES MAGAZINE FOR COOL PEOPLE. The review was equal parts scathing and typo-ridden. Lowe claimed that Nandy was "LACKING IN GOODTHINGS, TOTTAL SAD MORONFACE" and "PROPOPLY DOESNT EVAN KNOW WHAT A HORSE IS". These back and forth public rebukes have continued to this day, becoming more and more baseless, and less and less readable.

The Lowe Log

Forbes' unusual behavior often results in entertaining stories, which the Jazz Hands track in the Lowe Log. One such log entry is presented below as an example , sourced from the broader Interdimensional Rumor Mill. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-91.493 out of its Rumor Registry...

Once, the morning of an away game at the Boston Garden, Lowe Forbes brought a live bird into Steph Weeks' room at 5am, proceeding to eat it whole on the kitchen floor. When asked for comment on this incident, Lowe Forbes simply said "alarm clock" before scurrying into the nearest air vent.

Interdimensional Rumor Mill

Drafted on a bet in the 91st round, this pile of assorted graphic t-shirts was created by Denver teen Tyler Forbes, who's going to tidy them up later, Mom. Their ability to pitch a blaseball is questionable at best, scintillating at worst, but don't be fooled: Lowe Forbes does indeed offer a Morphe discount code for 10% off your order when you like and subscribe.

Fan Works

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  Lowe Forbes, in a pregame ritual. "Eat" is just a phrase, as fans just disappear into a horrible void that must be a mouth.

• 

  Collins Melon hanging out with Lowe Forbes, Baby Doyle, and a fan, by bunnevolence.

• 

  Lowe Forbes has drained blood multiple times.

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