Difference between revisions of "Atlas Jonbois"

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{{Player|team=Charleston Shoe Thieves|status=Incinerated|position=Batter|image1=Atlas Jonbois.png}}'''Atlas Jonbois''' was a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]. Jonbois replaced [[Sebastian Townsend]] after Townsend's [[incineration]] on [[Season 3]], Day 40, only to be incinerated three days later on Day 43 and replaced by [[Sebastian Woodman]].
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{{AutomatedPlayer
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| title1=={{PAGENAME}}
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<!-- Use the filename with the file type, but without the File: or Image: prefix-->
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|image1=Atlas Jonbois.png
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<!-- Photo credit -->
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|captain1=
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<!-- Records: Basic information -->
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|aliases= <!-- IN GAME NAMES ONLY -->
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|former=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]
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|dates=Aug 5, 2020 <!-- IRL dates active (ex. Jul 20 - Aug 31, 2020) -->
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|evolution=Base
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|position=Batter
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|uuid  =f44a8b27-85c1-44de-b129-1b0f60bcb99c}}
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and was with the team from {{BetaSeason|3}}, Day 40 until being [[Incineration|incinerated]] on Season 3, Day 43.
  
 
== Official League Records ==
 
== Official League Records ==
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At four games played and three games started, Jonbois is believed to have had the shortest career in [[ILB]] history.
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Jonbois joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]] on {{BetaSeason|3}}, Day 40 after the [[incineration]] of [[Sebastian Townsend]].
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On {{BetaSeason|3}}, Day 43, Jonbois was [[Incineration|incinerated]] and replaced by [[Sebastian Woodman]].
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At four games played and three games started, Jonbois was the longtime record holder for the shortest career in [[ILB]] history, before being surpassed by [[Kiki Familia]] of the [[Canada Moist Talkers]], who played 5 innings across two games.
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{{Community Lore}}
 
{{Community Lore}}
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== History ==
 
== History ==
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Not much is known about the roadmaps that make up the entirety of Jonbois' body, but they appear to navigate exclusively to [[Sunken Charleston]].  
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Not much is known about the roadmaps that made up the entirety of Jonbois's body, but they appeared to navigate exclusively to [[Sunken Charleston]].  
  
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Atlas Jonbois was formerly a tram operator, introduced to the splort of blaseball when they were wrangled into posing as Charleston Shoe Thieves pitcher [[Cornelius Games]] during the [[Season 2]] Finals. While their performance as a pitcher was abysmal, they absently tried hitting a few balls for practice after the game and were discovered to be a somewhat competent hitter by the team, putting them in position to be recruited as a replacement lineup player following the Incineration of Sebastian Townsend  
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Atlas Jonbois was formerly a tram operator, introduced to the splort of blaseball when they were wrangled into posing as Charleston Shoe Thieves pitcher [[Cornelius Games]] during the {{BetaSeason|2}} Finals. While their performance as a pitcher was abysmal, they absently tried hitting a few balls for practice after the game and were discovered to be a somewhat competent hitter by the team, putting them in position to be recruited as a replacement lineup player following the Incineration of Sebastian Townsend  
  
 
When asked about their hopes for new player Atlas Jonbois, the entirety of the Charleston Shoe Thieves responded in deafening unison, "Atlas is big and strong and is my friend."
 
When asked about their hopes for new player Atlas Jonbois, the entirety of the Charleston Shoe Thieves responded in deafening unison, "Atlas is big and strong and is my friend."
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== In Literature ==
 
== In Literature ==
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Following Jonbois' incineration, team eulogist Thacker H. composed "The Ballad of Atlas Jonbois" in their honor:
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Following Jonbois's incineration, team eulogist Thacker H. composed "The Ballad of Atlas Jonbois" in their honor:
  
  
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They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston
 
They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston
  
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They’re the map who never returned
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They're the map who never returned
  
  
  
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Atlas took a wrong turn into the players’ dugout
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Atlas took a wrong turn into the players' dugout
  
 
And Cornelius needed relief
 
And Cornelius needed relief
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After three short games as a Shoe Thieves slugger  
 
After three short games as a Shoe Thieves slugger  
  
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We said “you’re big and strong and my friend!”
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We said "you’re big and strong and my friend!"
  
 
But when a rogue umpire lit those maps on fire
 
But when a rogue umpire lit those maps on fire
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They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston
 
They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston
  
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They’re the map who never returned
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They're the map who never returned
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{{Template:ShoeThievesNav}}
 
  
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== Fan Works ==
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<gallery widths="185">
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80AtlasJonbois.png|Mini-Blaseballer by {{Twitter|name=HetreaSky}}
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</gallery>
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{{TeamNavSelector|shoe thieves}}
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|shoe thieves}}
 
[[Category:Players]]
 
[[Category:Players]]
 
[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player]]
 
[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player]]
 
[[Category:Incinerated Players]]
 
[[Category:Incinerated Players]]
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[[Category:Lineup Players]]
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[[Category:Nominative Determinism]]
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[[Category:Charleston Shoe Thieves]]
 

Latest revision as of 21:42, 14 January 2023

Atlas Jonbois was a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and was with the team from Season β3, Day 40 until being incinerated on Season 3, Day 43.

Official League Records

Jonbois joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves on Season β3, Day 40 after the incineration of Sebastian Townsend.

On Season β3, Day 43, Jonbois was incinerated and replaced by Sebastian Woodman.

At four games played and three games started, Jonbois was the longtime record holder for the shortest career in ILB history, before being surpassed by Kiki Familia of the Canada Moist Talkers, who played 5 innings across two games.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Not much is known about the roadmaps that made up the entirety of Jonbois's body, but they appeared to navigate exclusively to Sunken Charleston.

Atlas Jonbois was formerly a tram operator, introduced to the splort of blaseball when they were wrangled into posing as Charleston Shoe Thieves pitcher Cornelius Games during the Season β2 Finals. While their performance as a pitcher was abysmal, they absently tried hitting a few balls for practice after the game and were discovered to be a somewhat competent hitter by the team, putting them in position to be recruited as a replacement lineup player following the Incineration of Sebastian Townsend

When asked about their hopes for new player Atlas Jonbois, the entirety of the Charleston Shoe Thieves responded in deafening unison, "Atlas is big and strong and is my friend."

Everyone is fairly sure that Jonbois would have specialized in stealing ballet shoes, but they never got the chance to officially steal shoes for the team.

In Literature

Following Jonbois's incineration, team eulogist Thacker H. composed "The Ballad of Atlas Jonbois" in their honor:


Well, let me tell you of the story of a map named Atlas

A hitter we barely knew

They kissed the trams farewell, and entered Choux Stadium

To cheer for the Thievin' Shoe


[Chorus]

Well, did they ever return?

No they never returned, and their fate is still unlearned

They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston

They're the map who never returned


Atlas took a wrong turn into the players' dugout

And Cornelius needed relief

Their pitching career was not fated to prosper

But Atlas became a Shoe Thief

[Chorus]


After three short games as a Shoe Thieves slugger

We said "you’re big and strong and my friend!"

But when a rogue umpire lit those maps on fire

Atlas saw their lifetime end


[Chorus]


Now all night long Atlas rides through Sunken Charleston

On a spectral tram they navigate

But their heart is full of blaseball dreams and stolen kicks

Atlas Jonbois will never bow to fate


Well, did they ever return?

No they never returned, and their fate is still unlearned

They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston

They're the map who never returned

Fan Works


Charleston Shoe Thieves 👟
Players Batters
Pitchers
Shadows
BuriedRichardson Games · Darren Chill · Slosh Gulp · Becker Solis
Former   · Full List
Stats Seasonβ1 · β2 · β3 · β4 · β5 · β6 · β7 · β8 · β9 · β10 · β11 · β12 · β13 · β14 · β15 · β16 · β17 · β18 · β19 · β20 · β21 · β22 · β23 · β24
1 · 2 · Full List
CircuitsGamma 1 · Gamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4
Events The Grand Unslam · Day X
Ballpark Choux Stadium
Community Lore
Staff Cornelius Games · Matteo Prestige · Sneaker Pete · Holden Milk
Places Charleston · The Beck And Call · Sunken Charleston Remembrance Obelisk
History Charleston Shoe Thieves' History · Fan Awards
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏
Your Kicks are Our Kicks.
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