200% Beef Hotdog and Chips (the Third)

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Revision as of 21:35, 8 June 2021 by Elmonstro (talk | contribs)

200% Beef Hotdog and Chips (the Third) is a vain but lovable maned wolf, introduced in Season 11 as an official mascot of the Tokyo Lift. His name was decided in a four-day corporate workshopping session and is variously shortened to "200BHC3", "Twin Beefs" or most often "Chips".

Before each home game the preposterously long-legged Chips will lead one or more Lift players in a lap of the field, soaking up the crowd's adulation to the KISS song Strutter. He covers the ground in an elegant springy trot, his elegant neck arched back, elegant nose held high in the air and huge pink tongue flopping obscenely in every direction. Chips also takes part in the team's baserunning training, zipping around the diamond with surefooted glee and leaving mere players spluttering in his dust trail.

Like others of his species Chips is highly territorial, and he is notorious for escaping his handler to aggressively scent-mark the visiting team's dugout. Yusef Fenestrate has called this "an appalling stain on our reputation" while stadium janitor and new team owner Gronk Sewergas considers it just an appalling stain. When the Jazz Hands' Lowe Forbes complained of Chips musking his pitching blindfold, Nandy Slumps told reporters: "I condemn the actions of our co-mascot in the strongest possible terms, and will be having harsh words with our very good boy. You hear that, Chips? Who's a good boy, huh? Yeah, good boy."

The only team to escape the maned wolf's stinky disdain are the Wild Wings, perhaps because they treat him to a superior class of meat snack. The famously picky eater shuns the Lift's own Beef Wings stand, regarding the product (and Val Hitherto himself) with unconcealed disgust. This was a recurring point of contention with sometime Lift player and self-avowed Beef Wings devotee Halexandrey Walton.

Maned wolves are native to South America, where Chips enjoys a celebrity status far beyond that of the Lift's present and former Brazilian and Argentinian players. Mags Banananana has called the situation "no big deal", Kline Greenlemon "totally fair", Lance Serotonin "a valuable ego check" and Cudi Di Batterino "one more slap in the damn face". Di Batterino also describes one group of Argentinian fans attending a Lift game just to see Chips' pre-match lap and then leaving before a single pitch was thrown. He neglects to specify that they were his own parents.

Despite his reputation as an egotistical, high-maintenance mascot, Chips was immediately welcoming of new co-mascot Kumuscle and is very fond of suit performer Eri Kumai. In the six-foot hydraulic bear he sees at long last a worthy adversary in his fight to command the home crowd's complete and undivided attention.