Lance Serotonin

From Blaseball Wiki

Lance Serotonin was a player in the Shadows for the Atlantis Georgias, and was with the team from Season β23, Day 96 until Fall Ball. Serotonin has previously played for the Tokyo Lift and Chicago Firefighters.

Official League Records

Serotonin joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Tokyo Lift during the Season β10 elections, after the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs.

During the Coffee Cup, Serotonin played for the Light & Sweet Electric Co. as a lineup player.

On Season β13, Day 10, Serotonin swallowed a peanut and had an allergic reaction.

On Season β16, Day 84, York Silk of the Canada Moist Talkers hit a flyout to Serotonin, causing Serotonin to become Observed. Later, after play ended on day 88, Serotonin disappeared from the Lift's lineup, and they were Redacted.

On Season β17, Day 27, Serotonin exited the Secret Base at Al Pastor Memorial Park, losing Redacted and gaining the Attractor modification. Upon being batted in by Peanutiel Duffy, Serotonin joined the Chicago Firefighters' bench.

During the Season β17 elections, Serotonin's star ratings were completely randomized as a result of the On Deck blessing, resulting in Serotonin becoming an Alternate, losing the Attractor modification, and a combined 20.4 19.9 stat decrease.

During the Season β21 elections, Serotonin received the Negative modification as a result of the Darkside Flip blessing.

On Season β23, Day 96, The Bubble Thieves' Guild stole Serotonin from the Chicago Firefighters and gave them to the Atlantis Georgias.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Lance Serotonin Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-1667 and start reading...

AVAST!
The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.

Background

The following accounts can be traced to a single leather-bound journal originally found in a locked wooden chest alongside a sextant-like device of indeterminate origin and a shell that matches no known species of mollusc. The chest was located in a storage room in the Legscraper’s lower levels that was described as “smelling faintly of the sea”. Subsequent attempts to locate and navigate to said room have been unsuccessful thus far. The journal details the exploits of the crew of a large sailing vessel, The Tokyo Adrift, descriptions of which are largely consistent with mid-17th century galleons.

With The Tokyo Adrift

Lance Serotonin was the first mate of The Tokyo Adrift, though accounts from the journal place him as roughly equal in standing to the nominal captain Stijn Strongbody. Serotonin was said to be aided in his duties by a loyal flock of parrots. Visual descriptions of Serotonin’s parrots are roughly consistent with present-day scarlet macaws, with bright red plumage that transitions to yellow and blue in the wings. However, sketches of the birds depict their beaks as elongated, closer to the structural adaptations of molluscivores. In times of confrontation, the flock is described as “wielding a cutlass with deadly efficiency” though the mechanics of this are unclear. Several of Serotonin's flock had taken to roosting in Lotus Mango's foliage, much to the latter's amusement.

As first mate, Serotonin could be seen utilising his flock’s innate knack for mimicry to echo orders to all parts of the sizeable sailing vessel. He personally undertook the task of lighting the ship’s lanterns every night for visibility, sending a parrot to each lamp, candle in beak. Serotonin himself could either be found on the quarterdeck in his wheelchair or swinging from the rigging in a bosun’s chair of his own design.

As first mate, Serotonin took charge of the vessel when Strongbody was indisposed. The journal states that this would occur occasionally when the captain was "swept up by a new discovery; a breakthrough in his research". In one particular instance, Serotonin took the helm after Strongbody was made unavailable following a [REDACTED], a large wave of [REDACTED] impact. It is unknown if this appointment was made permanent due to the incomplete nature of the last journal entry, the bottom of the page having been ripped to bitten out, with jaw marks consistent with juvenile female anglerfish.

The following notes are from Lance Serotonin, researcher at The Atlantean Facility for Interdimensional Studies and Hypotheses.

Records of me… of Serotonin 1667 peter out not long after the events of 1667. It’s unclear what happened to them. I don’t remember. I thought maybe going through the documents would jog my memory, but it didn’t. The investigation into Serotonin 1667’s ultimate fate is ongoing, alongside my other research into the era.


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