Whit Steakknife

Whit Steakknife
Basic Information
Team	Kansas City Breath Mints
Status	Incinerated
Batting	★★½
Pitching	★½
Defense	★★★
Running	★★★
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Humble-bragging
Coffee Style	Light & Sweet
Blood Type	Love
Fate	23
Soulscream	EUEEHEUEEHEAEAEEAEAEEAEOAAXEOAAXEXUAEAXUAEAXUIAHHUIAHHUEOIEEEOIEEEIXAOEIXAOEIAOAEEAOAEEA
Biographical Details
Pronouns	he/it
Species	Unknown

Whit Steakknife was a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints. Steakknife had been a part of the Breath Mints since Season 1 until his untimely incineration during Season 4.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Whit's head looked like a serrated knife blade ringed by a shimmering golden crown.

Whit was known for his boastful attitude and showmanship. It was not uncommon for him to make lewd gestures at the catcher as he scored a run, an act of devilry that always riled up the fans. Despite this devious behavior, Whit was also known to have a softer side, far softer than the sharpened edge of his bladed head.

Whit had been receiving lessons from the Breath Mints star batter Boyfriend Monreal on how to become a better dater. Whit’s romantic interests in the Dallas Steak’s pitcher Ronan Jaylee were no secret, but due to his terminator-like cluelessness about human emotions, his first date didn’t go exactly how he wanted. At the time of Whit's incineration, Boyfriend had been training him on how to wink, a skill which, it was hoped, would have greatly helped him in his romantic endeavors.

Steakknife's walk out music was "Whip It" by Devo.

Whit Steakknife was incinerated in Season 4 during a game against the San Francisco Lovers.

Romantic Life

Whit had been public about grappling with the grief of losing his first wife, a technicolor folding blade, many years ago. It is a pain that the whole team had helped him bear, and through this gauntlet, he had come out the other side a much more emotionally rounded individual. This growth paved the way for his subsequent relationship, and eventual marriage, with Justice Spoon, a player for the Chicago Firefighters. Whit was a self described "wife-guy", and loved declaring his love for them in interviews, on the field, and atop the highest parapets of the Kansas City skyline.

Whit himself ascended into the great silverware drawer in the sky on August 25th, 2020 during a game against the San Francisco Lovers. He is survived by Justice Spoon and his two children, Spork and Spatula Steakknife.

(Art by @ghostwriterish)

In Memoriam

Feel free to add your own words, in memoriam of Whit Steakknife.

"10,000 spoons, when all you need is a knife. Isn't it ironic."

"The strikeouts that men do live after them; the home runs are so oft interred with their knives, so let it be with Whit."

"going to bed with a broken heart, love you mints love you whit."

"While today we all feel a knife in our hearts, we must remember the heart that steakknife carried within him. To every. Single. Game."

"miss him so much just want him back!!!!"

"rip whit hes in the big silverware drawer in the sky now"

"Hi it's Vince from shamwow, you'll be saying wow every time. It's like a shammy, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge. A regular towel doesn't work wet, this works wet or dry. This is for the house The Car The Boat The RV Shamwow holds 12 times it's weight in liquid, look at this, it just does the work. Why do you want to work twice as hard? It doesn't drip, doesn't make a mess, wring it out. You wash it in the washing machine. Made in Hellmouth, you know the Hellmouths always make good stuff. Here's some cola, wine, coffee, cola, pet stains. Not only is your damage going to be on top, there's your mildew"

"when the sun sets and the stars come out, i will see you again my old friend, every night, up there swimming in the sky. i love you."