Difference between revisions of "Winnie Hess"

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Revision as of 05:34, 26 August 2020

Winnie Hess is a pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints. Hess has been with the Breath Mints since the end of Season One. Hess previously pitched for the Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

At the end of Season One, Hess came to the Breath Mints after the Crabs received the "Steal Best Pitcher" Blessing and stole PolkaDot Patterson. Upon arriving in Kansas City, Hess jumped from a zero star pitcher to a two and a half star pitcher after receiving the "Mysterious Enhancement" blessing.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Hess has been said to resemble a humanoid horse, or a humanoid human wearing a horse mask.

(Art by @ghostwriterish)

In Literature

Baltimore Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Hess:


Dear Winnie Hess has left our park

While here, she made near zero mark

In truth for some she’s been forgot

‘Cept as the trade for Polkadot


But since she left she’s really grown

And has for Kansas City shown

Herself a workhorse in rotation

Fueled by hay and meditation.


And so in hindsight I now muse

That if again we got to choose

Whether to trade Winnie away

It’s very clear we’d answer “nay!”

Fanart: