Sexton Wheerer
Sexton Wheerer is a pitcher for the Unlimited Tacos. Wheerer has been a member of the team since Season 1, when they were known as Sexton Wheeler.
Official League Records
Name Changes
After the Season 3 elections, Wheerer was briefly known as Wyatt Mason due to The Wyatt Masoning.
During The Unmasoning, Wheerer's name was misspelled by The Commissioner during repairs, and they were written as Sexton Wheerer instead of Sexton Wheeler. They are one of two Tacos players who had their original name's spelling changed through The Unmasoning (the other being Wyatt Dovenpart). The cause of this error is believed to be carelessness on The Commissioner's part, even if The Commissioner is doing a great job.
Alternate
At the end of Season 4, Wheerer was affected by the Alternate Reality Decree, resulting in a change to all stats, including a decrease in pitching from to .
Season 7
During the Tacos' Season 7, Day 91 game against the Boston Flowers, Wheerer received a ½-star boost to all stats.
At the end of the Season 7 regular season, Wheerer and the other Tacos pitchers received the Shelled modification as part of the Snackrifice. Wheerer was later freed on Day 47 of Season 8.
Season 9
Following the events of Season 9, Day X, Wheerer became the only pitcher in the Tacos' rotation.
During the Season 9 election, Wheerer received the Friend of Crows modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Birds decree. Their pregame ritual still consists of eating a bird, however.
Coffee Cup
During the Coffee Cup, Wheerer played for the Milk Proxy Society as a lineup player.
Season 12
During the Season 12 Election Wheerer received the Infuse Will, boosting them from 11.9 → 16.6 .
Records
Wheerer currently holds numerous ILB records due to their longevity, including innings pitched (3406.2), pitches thrown (20379), earned runs (2021), hits allowed (3587), home runs allowed (556), wins (152), and losses (242).
Early Life
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Wheerer, though born in Los Angeles, is said to have spent most of his childhood roaming the Midwestern United States after the mysterious disappearance of his biological parents. Unlike some other players, Wheerer answers questions about their past, but is frustratingly vague in what appears to be pure obliviousness. He does claim to have been "raised by the land" and has been seen wrestling with coyotes in the past. As a teen, Wheerer was adopted by a family of tires. The Wheerers have been seen at multiple games.
Recruitment and Reputation
Wheerer signed up for the community kickball league with the sole intention of making friends. He does not seem to have any issues with the inescapable nature of blaseball and has stated that he's "happy to be a part of such a close team for as long as he can." It is unclear if the undefined end they are referring to is incineration or switching teams.
Despite their lower star ranking, Wheerer is a consistent asset to the team, known for their level head in high stress games as well as their stamina.
Landmarks Controversy
During interviews, Wheerer has stated that they are not responsible for all natural landmarks within the state of California, though they have been disregarded due to their flustered behavior. Rumors that they are a supernaturally strong folk hero persist. During a postgame interview after a victory against the Boston Flowers, Wheerer issued an apology regarding the dire wolf population of Los Angeles for the La Brea Tarpits. When pressed for details they claimed personal responsibility for the natural landmark.
I was a fearful man when I made them pits, but fear is no excuse for what I done. I will do what I can to make it right to the wolves, mammoths, and other critters what got caught in my youthful indiscretion. I am truly sorry.
Representatives from the George C. Page Museum could offer no explanation for how Wheerer could have been alive, much less responsible, for the heavy oil fractions which are believed to have been seeping for tens of thousands of years. They did, however, formally accept their apology.
Alternate Reality
Wheerer was switched out with another Sexton Wheerer from another Los Angeli at the end the Season 4. He is now a centaur. Nothing else has changed.
The exact configuration of human and horse biology in Wheerer's body is unclear, with reports differing wildly. See gallery for known photographs of Alternate Reality Wheerer.
Food Allergies
Wheerer has a multitude of food allergies, including but not limited to: pecans, grapes, all types of Chex Mix, tires, grass, and, finally, tacos. This creates an issue during promotional shoots, where Wheerer eats as many tacos as possible, and before games, where Wheerer also eats as many tacos as possible. As a result of this tradition, he will now only eat things that are wrapped in a tortilla. Wheerer's dedication to team spirit before their health is speculated to be the reason for the discrepancy between their stats and play.
Gallery
Wheerer (Prime) on one of the hand drawn cards made by Tacos fans in defiance of capitalism, by p_a_mcg
Some photographic evidence of Alt. Wheerer's configuration, by Hen
Footage of Alt. Wheerer pitching, by Cozzymandias
Footage of Alt. Wheerer pitching, by Cozzymandias
Some photographic evidence of Alt. Wheerer's configuration, by Hen
Cursed imagery
Further evidence of the variations of Wheerer by Hen
Wheerer sitting down, by Hen
Centaur Wheerer by @Fancymancer
Centaur Wheerer, by Loxosceles
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Centaur Wheerer after becoming a Friend of Crows, by @cozzymandiesque
Crow pegasus centaur Wheerer by Loxosceles
Sexton with many fingers
Sexton, scuttling around on shoulders and touching ankles
Magical girl Sexton Wheerer
Another Magical girl version of Sexton Wheerer
Mr. Scuttles, aka Sexton Wheerer
by keeper_pigeon
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| Players | Batters | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitchers | ||
| Shadows | ||
| Buried | Wyatt Owens · Wyatt Pothos · Reggie Canberra · Caleb Alvarado | |
| Former |
|
|
| Stats | Season | 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 |
| Events | The Grand Unslam · The Wyatt Masoning · Party Time Speedrun · Snackrifice | |
| Ballpark | Al Pastor Memorial Park | |
| Community Lore | ||
| Staff | Al Pastor · Lalengua · Pepito the Coyote | |
| Places | Los Angeli | |
| History | Unlimited Tacos' History · Los Angeli Research Division | |
| Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
| 72° and Infinite | ||
