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Yellowstone National Park

National Park Service Standardized Irregularity Report

Documenting Researcher: Researcher Enkidussen

A small copse of aspen, utterly unremarkable to the naked eye. One of the trees is named Gary.
Gary (center)

Irregularity Designation: YS-228 (“This Tree's Name is Gary”)

Irregularity Class: Native

Park Management Protocol:

  • Placards placed at a distance of 50m explain that the tree's name is Gary.
  • Ropes placed at a distance of 30m delineate the preferred hiking trail and discourage interaction with Gary.
  • If giving a tour along this trail:
    • Do not allow tourists to approach Gary.
    • Do not allow tourists to speak to Gary.
    • If a tourist asks Gary's name, isolate them immediately and prepare REDACTED as described in Yellowstone Park Ranger Manual (2017) section 17B.

Irregularity Description: This tree ("Gary") is located in the far north-eastern portion of the Montana park. It is a mostly unremarkable aspen among a clonal grove of aspen. If approached within 10m and directly asked its name it will not respond.

Later that night, during the deepest portion of REM sleep, the questioner will awaken suddenly with a single word reverberating in their mind: "GARY." This will continue every sleep cycle for the rest of the questioner's life. Verifiable reports place an upper bound upon this lifespan of 19 days.