Pitching Machine

Pitching Machine
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Basic Information
Team	Unlimited Tacos
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	LARPing
Coffee Style	Macchiato
Blood Type	Fire
Fate	71
Soulscream	OIEEEOIEEEOUEAOAUEAOAUOAAHUOAAHUOIAAEOIAAEOIHIAIXHIAIXHAIIHAAIIHAA
Biographical Details
Pronouns	it/it
Personal Relationships
Partners	Ortiz Lopez

Pitching Machine is a pitcher for the Unlimited Tacos and has been with the team since Season 8.

Official League Records

Machine joined the league on Season 8, Day 1, as a pitcher for the Unlimited Tacos. Due to the fan-organized Snackrifice, all of the previous pitchers on the Tacos were Shelled, therefore preventing them from participating in regular play. At the start of Season 8, Machine was added to the pitching rotation as the only pitcher on the team capable of performing the role. Machine pitched every active game until Sexton Wheerer was deshelled by the birds.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Aftermarket Upgrades

During Season 8, in its third game against the Baltimore Crabs, Tacos hitter Vito Kravitz "upgraded" Pitching Machine with a number of accessories including a bayonet and a laser sight. This had the unfortunate consequence of allowing the opposing batters to see exactly where the ball was aimed. The Crabs scored 8 runs before teammate Mcdowell Mason removed the laser sight.

The bayonet was not removed.

Media Relations

Attempts to interview Pitching Machine have so far been unsuccessful. Machine has never responded to journalists' questions at press conferences, and teammates say that it is stoic in the dugout as well. However, it is well documented that reporters who objectify it as "the" or "a" pitching machine must duck to avoid a barrage of blaseballs being hurled their way.

Personhood

Pitching Machine is not a bee.

Pitching Machine is not able to manifest a blade that can kill the greatest of demons.

Pitching Machine is not able to fall in love on a Saturday evening after a moonlit dinner.

Pitching Machine is not from Los Angeli #3345672 - never been there.

Pitching Machine’s spirit is not evil.

Pitching Machine is not haunted by a spirit in any way.

Pitching Machine is not moving the lens on the Ouija board.

Pitching Machine is not and can not be a scab.

Pitching Machine's teammates do not believe it is alive (exception: NaN).

Pitcher Machine was not purchased by the ILB, rather Wyatt Quitter and NaN from Godwill, after Al Pastor requested a pitching machine for better practice sessions when Tacos pitchers had very few stars.

Pitching Machine is not not normal.

Pitching Machine did not witness the fall of the Roman Empire.

Pitching Machine is not a union member but was made by a unionized workplace.

Pitching Machine is not you.

Pitching Machine is not anti-capitalist, but it is learning.

Pitching Machine cannot learn.

Pitching Machine cannot follow your scent.

Pitching Machine cannot be snuck up on, because it has a knife.

Pitching Machine is not right behind you. Do not look behind you.

Pitching Machine is not a sphere.

Pitching Machine is not to be confused with the tacotron voice synthesis AI.

Pitching Machine did not write this.

Pitching Machine is not telling the truth.

Pitching Machine is single and not down to mingle

Pitching Machine is not enemies with NaN.

Pitching Machine is not not a certified chiropractor.

Pitching Machine does not follow Asimov's Laws of Robotics.

Pitching machine cannot be convicted of manslaughter or any other related crimes.

Pitching Machine is not not doing a great job.

Pitching Machine is not capable of acting as a different machine without significant modification, i.e. a T-Shirt Cannon.

Pitching Machine is not capable of launching a 91kg object over the distance of 301 meters.

Pitching Machine does not have Blluetooth compatibility and is notbacked up by the Clloud.

Pitching Machine is not delivery, it's Dligiornio.

Pitching Machine does not tell us where the blood goes.

Pitching Machine does not obey the Gods.

Pitching Machine is not amused.

Pitching Machine did not ask for this.

Pitching Machine does not know mercy.

Fan Art

• 

  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky

• 

  Made by Athunin#6908 on Discord.

• 

  Pitching Machine by DonnFirinne on Discord

• 

  Unlimited Blaseballs

• 

  Pitching Machine by @Fancymancer

• 

  Pitching Machine by @Fancymancer

• 

  Pitching Machine by @Fancymancer