Esme Ramsey

Esme Ramsey
tlopps card by @johannagaudet on twitter
Basic Information
Team	Charleston Shoe Thieves
Status	Alive
Batting	★★½
Pitching	★★½
Defense	★★★½
Running	(bugged)
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Running the bases
Coffee Style	Americano
Blood Type	Psychic
Fate	23
Soulscream	XIEUIXIEUIXEXAOHEXAOHEIOAHEIOAHEIXIAIAXIAIAXHAAEIHAAEIH
Biographical Details
Pronouns	No
Species	Human
Horse	No
Other Background Information
Dislikes	Tillman Henderson

Esme Ramsey is a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and has been since Season One.

Official League Records

Ramsey currently has no notable events in the official record books.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Blaseball Career

Pre-ILB

Ramsey first encountered Blaseball while drinking from a pool of primordial malice and witnessing the First Pitch (or an approximation thereof). This created an irresistible compulsion to play Blaseball, and despite having no prior experience with the splort, Ramsey could consistently be found clinging to the fence outside Hellmouth Sunbeams (then the Moab Sunbeams) games and attempting to ingest stray balls. This determination ultimately proved appealing to the Sunbeams, who brought Ramsey on as a member of the roster. The batter served admirably for several years before being released as a free agent, after which Ramsey felt inexplicably drawn to the fledgling Shoe Thieves.

Shoe Thieves

Ramsey has proved to be a reliable hitter, going as far as winning the team's MVP award for Postseason 2 due to their consistency and high RBI count. Ramsey plays the little-known defensive position of "longstop", a variant of the more commonly used shortstop that places the player almost entirely in left field. This allows Ramsey to give batting tips and spare blueberry muffins to left-fielder Velazquez Alstott, as well as to see approximately two seconds into the future.

Alstott and Ramsey have a close relationship, with Ramsey frequently seen giving Alstott piggy back rides around the field and Alstott referring to Ramsey and "Big Ems".

Ramsey specializes in stealing the boots from early 20th century deep-sea diving suits.

Disputed Inheritance Claim

Ramsey claims to be Gordon Ramsey's illegitimate child. This claim is substantiated by the fact that Ramsey is Choux Stadium's preeminent patissier. However, Gordon has no knowledge of Ramsey's existence, and is entirely unable to answer questions regarding the batter.

Quotes

• On their relationship status: "One Time a fan asked me to marry her. I said she can do whatever she wants. I think there was a priest there? It's whatever."
• On cooking tips: "It's easier to fit the ball in your mouth if you cut it in half first." & "I learned this technique in culinary school. It's called 'digestion'."
• On fashion: "Why are you speaking to me?"
• On philosophy: "Look, I've seen the beginning and end of everything, I've stared directly into the blinding visage of the being that threw the First Pitch, I've seen the entirety of time and space laid out before me like a cheap hotel continental breakfast buffet. And you know what? Last game I struck out twice, my team has a losing record, and one of our best players just transferred to the Wet Faces or whatever. None of it matters. We're all gonna die. You either eat [expletive deleted] or play ball. I'm gonna play ball."