Elijah Valenzuela

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Revision as of 05:37, 1 September 2020 by Shalmelo (talk | contribs)

Elijah Valenzuela is a lineup player for the Hawaii Fridays. Valenzuela has been a member of the team since Season 1. Valenzuela is regarded by both splortswriters and SIBR as one of the most anticapitalist players in blaseball, second only to Schneider Bendie of the New York Millennials


Official League Records

Season 3

Valenzuela ended the season with 10 stolen bases, ranking him #3 in the league.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Background

Elijah is a fan favorite as well as a hero of the proletariat, having led the revolution that established the Sovereign Nation of Hawaii. He is renowned for stealing homes both on and off the blaseball field. Not only has Elijah stolen Fourth Base on multiple occasions during league play, but for every base he steals during a game, he also liberates a vacant mainlander vacation home and gives it to unhoused Hawaiians in need of good Vibes.

Sam and Solis' Passing

Elijah was notably upset by the sudden passing of Sam Solis while pitching against the Charleston Shoe Thieves. At the post-game cookout, when asked what he thought of the formal investigation calling Solis' passing "natural causes," his only reply was, "Is that they're calling it?" and walked away.

Gallery