Bonk Jokes

Bonk Jokes
by Vixen
Basic Information
Team	Breckenridge Jazz Hands
Former Team(s)	Yellowstone Magic
Overall Rating	(2.5)
Batting	(2.5)
Pitching	(2)
Defense	(2.5)
Running	(2.5)
Vibes	(3.5)
Modifications	AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized.
Dates Active	Oct 14, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page

Bonk Jokes is a lineup player for the Broken Ridge Jazz Hands, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Jokes has previously played for the Yellowstone Magic.

Official League Records

Jokes joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Yellowstone Magic on Season β10, Day 39 after the incineration of Annie Roland.

During the Coffee Cup, Jokes played for the Light & Sweet Electric Co. as a pitcher.

On Season β21, Day 95, Jokes retreated to the Magic's Shadows in exchange for Halexandrey Walton at Yellowstone National (Ball)Park via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the Season β21 Elections, Jokes received Alternate and Negative when the Magic were blessed with Shadow Alternate Trust. As a result of becoming an alternate, Jokes's stats were randomized.

On Season β22, Day 49, Jokes joined the Magic's lineup in exchange for Bones Piazza at the Yellowstone National (Ball)Park via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the Season β22 elections, Jokes lost the Negative modification as a result of the Roster Flip blessing.

During the December 2, 2022 Fall Ball, Jokes fell to the Breckenridge Jazz Hands.

During Season 2, Day 42 a Mage Umpire called Joke's Alternate during Solar Eclipse (Red) Weather.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Bonk Jokes Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-40.115 and start reading...

One Joke Too Many

Bonk Jokes is an amalgam made up of an incredible number of bones, souls, and blood. After the incineration of former player Annie Roland, Yellowstone pitcher Logan Rodriguez tasked himself with the creation of a replacement. His solution was to use the vast amount of blood gained as a Siphon to preform the necromantic miracle which resulted in Jokes' creation, albeit with some side effects.

The large number of souls present in a single entity has led to some issues. No primary individual exists from this swirling mass, instead functioning as a shifting system akin to a plural human. Jokes manages this by switching out the bones which make of their core body, helping others to recognize the current dominant spirit. Several common personalities include a bison headed personality which often hits home runs, a many armed defender, and a lithe skeleton which consists only of a head, hips, and legs, that often steals blases.

Additionally, the choice of building materials has led to some issues with speech and perception. While the magical energies which hold together and propel Jokes allow for rudimentary hearing, the lack of ears, ear drums, and a general lack of biological systems can make hearing difficult. They generally rely on sign language, (taught by Yellowstone Batter Wyatt Glover) for on the field communications and other chaotic scenarios, but can hold conversations otherwise in quieter, off the field settings.

Finally, prolonged exposure to Logan Rodriguez has had adverse effects on Joke's personality. They describe the process of their creation as a "Six week long hellscape in which sick attempts at humor rained down like the fires of the apocalypse." Rodriguez remembers the period fondly and claims Jokes was "A great listener." This has resulted in a general negative reaction to any attempts at comedy told in Jokes' company, which often leads to the speaker getting walloped over the head, or as Jokes' would tell it, "Bonked." Jokes does however, have a deep love for dramas, poetry, and other "serious" works.

Regardless, Jokes manages to function as a competent and beloved, (if somewhat crabby,) member of the Yellowstone Magic.

Fan Works

Fanfiction

For more fanfiction, see the Bonk Jokes tag on AO3.

• last call by waveridden - One last Yellowstone Magic card game night.

• 

  Bonk by ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

• 

  Season 11 rookie card by ChewyPudding#7060

• 

  ASL, by batfights

• 

  Learning about Weatherman, by batfights

• 

  Making a friend with Chorby, by batfights

• 

  Three of Wands
  by @birbteef

• 

  A Tlopps card of Bonk Jokes, by @VoxiSour.

---