Difference between revisions of "Pitching Machine"
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Machine joined the league on [[Season 8]], Day 1, as a pitcher for the [[Unlimited Tacos]]. Due to the fan-organized [[The Snackrifice|Snackrifice]], all of the previous pitchers on the Tacos were '''[[Modifications|Shelled]]''', therefore preventing them from participating in regular play. At the start of Season 8, Machine was added to the pitching rotation as the only pitcher on the team capable of performing the role. Machine will play every active game until a non-Shelled pitcher is on the Tacos' roster. | Machine joined the league on [[Season 8]], Day 1, as a pitcher for the [[Unlimited Tacos]]. Due to the fan-organized [[The Snackrifice|Snackrifice]], all of the previous pitchers on the Tacos were '''[[Modifications|Shelled]]''', therefore preventing them from participating in regular play. At the start of Season 8, Machine was added to the pitching rotation as the only pitcher on the team capable of performing the role. Machine will play every active game until a non-Shelled pitcher is on the Tacos' roster. | ||
| + | == Personhood == | ||
{{Community Lore}} | {{Community Lore}} | ||
| − | '' | + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' a bee. |
| − | <!-- If the player has community lore, start the next section with {{Community Lore}} and a == == level header, then delete this note --> | + | |
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' able to manifest a blade that can kill the greatest of demons. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' able to fall in love on a Saturday evening after a moodlit dinner. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' from Los Angeli #3345672 - never been there. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine’s spirit is '''not''' evil. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' haunted by a spirit in any way. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' moving the lens on the Ouija board. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' and can not be a scab. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine's teammates do '''not''' believe it is alive (exception: [[NaN]]). | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine was '''not''' a part of the team prior to its purchase from Godwill. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' not normal. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine did '''not''' witness the fall of the Roman Empire. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' a union member but was made by a unionized workplace. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' you. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' anti-capitalist, but it is learning. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine '''cannot''' learn. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine '''cannot''' follow your scent. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine '''cannot''' be snuck up on, because it has a knife. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' right behind you. Do '''not''' look behind you. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' a sphere. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' to be confused with the tacotron voice synthesis AI. | ||
| + | |||
| + | The pitching machine did '''not''' write this. | ||
| + | |||
| + | <s>Pitching Machine is '''not''' telling the truth.</s> | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching machine is single and '''not''' down to mingle | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' enemies with NaN. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine does '''not''' follow Asimov's Laws of Robotics. | ||
| + | |||
| + | The pitching machine '''cannot''' be convicted of manslaughter or any other related crimes. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' not doing a great job | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' capable of acting as a different machine without significant modification, i.e. a T-Shirt Cannon. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' capable of launching a 91kg object over the distance of 301 meters. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine does '''not''' have Blluetooth compatibility and is NOT backed up by the Clloud. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' delivery, it's Dligiornio. | ||
| + | |||
| + | The pitching machine does '''not''' obey the Gods. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine is '''not''' amused. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine did '''not''' ask for this. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Pitching Machine does '''not''' know mercy.<!-- If the player has community lore, start the next section with {{Community Lore}} and a == == level header, then delete this note --> | ||
---- | ---- | ||
Revision as of 18:56, 21 September 2020
Pitching Machine is a pitcher for the Unlimited Tacos and has been with the team since Season 8.
Official League Records
Machine joined the league on Season 8, Day 1, as a pitcher for the Unlimited Tacos. Due to the fan-organized Snackrifice, all of the previous pitchers on the Tacos were Shelled, therefore preventing them from participating in regular play. At the start of Season 8, Machine was added to the pitching rotation as the only pitcher on the team capable of performing the role. Machine will play every active game until a non-Shelled pitcher is on the Tacos' roster.
Personhood
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Pitching Machine is not a bee.
Pitching Machine is not able to manifest a blade that can kill the greatest of demons.
Pitching Machine is not able to fall in love on a Saturday evening after a moodlit dinner.
Pitching Machine is not from Los Angeli #3345672 - never been there.
Pitching Machine’s spirit is not evil.
Pitching Machine is not haunted by a spirit in any way.
Pitching Machine is not moving the lens on the Ouija board.
Pitching Machine is not and can not be a scab.
Pitching Machine's teammates do not believe it is alive (exception: NaN).
Pitching Machine was not a part of the team prior to its purchase from Godwill.
Pitching Machine is not not normal.
Pitching Machine did not witness the fall of the Roman Empire.
Pitching Machine is not a union member but was made by a unionized workplace.
Pitching Machine is not you.
Pitching Machine is not anti-capitalist, but it is learning.
Pitching Machine cannot learn.
Pitching Machine cannot follow your scent.
Pitching Machine cannot be snuck up on, because it has a knife.
Pitching Machine is not right behind you. Do not look behind you.
Pitching Machine is not a sphere.
Pitching Machine is not to be confused with the tacotron voice synthesis AI.
The pitching machine did not write this.
Pitching Machine is not telling the truth.
Pitching machine is single and not down to mingle
Pitching Machine is not enemies with NaN.
Pitching Machine does not follow Asimov's Laws of Robotics.
The pitching machine cannot be convicted of manslaughter or any other related crimes.
Pitching Machine is not not doing a great job
Pitching Machine is not capable of acting as a different machine without significant modification, i.e. a T-Shirt Cannon.
Pitching Machine is not capable of launching a 91kg object over the distance of 301 meters.
Pitching Machine does not have Blluetooth compatibility and is NOT backed up by the Clloud.
Pitching Machine is not delivery, it's Dligiornio.
The pitching machine does not obey the Gods.
Pitching Machine is not amused.
Pitching Machine did not ask for this.
Pitching Machine does not know mercy.
| Players | Batters | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitchers | ||
| Shadows | ||
| Buried | Wyatt Owens · Wyatt Pothos · Reggie Canberra · Caleb Alvarado | |
| Former |
|
|
| Stats | Season | 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 |
| Events | The Grand Unslam · The Wyatt Masoning · Party Time Speedrun · Snackrifice | |
| Ballpark | Al Pastor Memorial Park | |
| Community Lore | ||
| Staff | Al Pastor · Lalengua · Pepito the Coyote | |
| Places | Los Angeli | |
| History | Unlimited Tacos' History · Los Angeli Research Division | |
| Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
| 72° and Infinite | ||
