Cedric Spliff

Cedric Spliff
Art by @Sad_King_Nate
Basic Information
Team	Canada Moist Talkers
Former Team(s)	Seattle Garages
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Dates Active	Aug 6, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Intermittent fasting
Coffee Style	Cold Brew
Blood Type	Love
Fate	46
Soulscream	HOAIXHOAIXHEEAOAEEAOAEIEEHEIEEHEIIEAAOIEAAOIIAIAXIAIAXIIHIIUIHIIUI
Biographical Details
Pronouns	he/him
Nickname(s)	Lone-Star, Spaceman Spliff

Cedric Spliff is a lineup player for the Canada Moist Talkers. Spliff previously played for the Seattle Garages.

Official League Records

Spliff joined the league on Season 3, Day 74 after the incineration of Shaquille Torres. On Season 3, Day 95 Spliff hit a grand slam and an RBI triple in a 10-9 extra innings loss to the Houston Spies.

Spliff joined the Moist Talkers on Season 8, Day 42 after a feedback swap with Quack Enjoyable.

Spliff's defense stats were maxed out thanks to the Moist Talkers winning the Fishing Net during the Season 9 Election.

During the Coffee Cup, Spliff played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

Personal Life

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Cedric "Lone-Star" Spliff is also an ex-con, recovering scam artist, team weed dealer, and podcaster. Originally hailing from Texas, Spliff hitched a ride to Seattle with Greer Gwiffin to "escape his Rodeo Crimes." He is a co-host of the podcast Steely Dads! alongside Greer Gwiffin. Despite the name of the podcast, the subject matter is not fatherhood. Instead, the podcast is instead focused on exploring conspiracy theories regarding The Grand Unslam that took place Season 3, Day 73 in the game between the Shoe Thieves and the Tacos. Spliff is an absolute wiz at trivia, knowing a multitude of random facts that don't usually come up. In contrast, his knowledge of normal things is... limited. He may or may not know when his birthday is.

Spliff has claimed to possess a unique "Blaseball sense" which tingles when a ball is pitched in his direction. This may explain why he bats like a man being swarmed by ants. Having bonded with Jesús Koch over their similar experiences with anxiety and not really feeling like they fit perfectly into the social picture, Spliff has revealed a "healthy respect" for a pitched ball that may or may not contribute to his batting style. In contrast, his bandana is worn primarily to feel cool, and also to hide his face because there are many people that watch Blaseball games. In his off time, Cedric often hangs with Alston Cerveza, sharing tales of their past cons and escapes from the law.

He has a past as a known con artist, his crimes committed include:

• Selling oregano instead of weed
• Selling weed instead of oregano
• Selling one star weed at two star prices
• Cable theft
• Stealing copper wire from construction sites
• Selling teens fake underage IDs
• Stealing mannequin parts from thrift stores to sell to other thrift stores
• Donating jigsaw puzzles to thrift stores but holding one piece back "as leverage"
• Miscellaneous violations of the Huffman Code
• A scam Spliff titled "Cryptid Currency". Cryptid Currency is the act of convincing cryptozoologists to create a betting pool on which cryptid would be discovered first, only to run off with the money
• Posing as PolkaDot Patterson's agent and arranging a trade to the Grand Forks Splorks
• Posing as a professional Blaseball player
• Rodeo crimes
• Selling painted boulders as workout equipment to "Hot" Fish Summer
• Selling a "Sounds of the Ocean" Conch that just plays ocean sounds when a button is pressed
• Selling a fake game console to Commissioner Vapor, while the console boots it only plays some weird romhack of burgertime.

A team zine titled Spliff's Grifts! was created to document these crimes for entertainment purposes.

After joining the Moist Talkers, Spliff's cons have turned suspiciously relevant to his teammates' desires. He 'just happens' to find a nice knitted scarf, and the yarn in his bag is totally unrelated. His dorm is littered with trinkets and craft supplies from his many hobbies, as well as a multitude of self-affirming notes left behind by Richmond Harrison, the previous occupant.

Gallery

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  Tlopps Cord by @Sad_King_Nate

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  Talkers in a Line, Spliff on the right end