Spears Taylor

Spears Taylor
Art by https://twitter.com/wrendorphin/
Basic Information
Team	Hades Tigers
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Playing pranks
Coffee Style	Anything
Blood Type	Basic
Fate	5
Soulscream	AEEEXAEEEXAUOAOEUOAOEUEHAAXEHAAXEEOAHXEOAHXEHAAHIHAAHIHOHIEEOHIEEOIAAXIIAAXIIAOAOIAOAOIA
Biographical Details
Pronouns	they/them
Other Background Information
Favorite Pie	Grasshopper Pie

Spears Taylor is a lineup player for the Hades Tigers. Taylor has been a member of the team since Season 4.

Official League Records

Spears entered the league in Season 1 as a member of the Philly Pies.

On Season 3, Day 98, Taylor swallowed a stray peanut and suffered an allergic reaction. This lowered their rating from to .

On Season 4, Day 43, Taylor was caught in a Feedback loop and swapped teams with Jessica Telephone, changing from the Philly Pies to the Hades Tigers. Having played with the Pies during their victories in the first two season, Spears became the first player to be on the winning team of three internet league championships - a title that would have gone to Jessica had the trade not happened.

Player History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

As an imp summoned using fey magick by the 13th Order of Bloodstone Warlocks, Spears is considered a native resident of Hades. Although most imps are conjured to perform some menial labor, Spears proved to be overly capable as a janitor/hoplite and was instead used as a covert agent by the order, capable of sneaking into locales while carrying multiple unwieldy pole weapons.

Following the demise of the 13th Order of Bloodstone Warlocks, Spears was unbound by all fey pacts and able to live and roam freely, where they eventually left the underworld to roam Eastern Canada and Europe before reaching the Philly metro region.

Conjured henchmen by nature, imps are known to be impressionable creatures and Spears took on numerous jobs during this wandering time. Spears was approached by Sam Hinkie outside of The Oven three hours before the first match of Season 1 when Sam realized the Pies never signed a Third Baseman. Spears accepted the position despite never watching a Blaseball game. To this day, Spears rejects any splorts representation or sponsorships, calling them a "capitalist distraction".

Polearm Incidents

Spears Taylor was at one time rated the second most anticapitalistic (warning: FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE) player in the league due to a history of throwing literal spears at capitalists. Taylor is perhaps best known for the incident where they threw a partizan at Bees Kneesos, or the time they made the news for clipping Eli Rank with a halberd. They love to steal... those bases!

Taylor has always had an obsession with equipment management, as players typically share equipment harmoniously without an expectation of ownership. Fearful Symmetry has been wary about appointing Taylor to this volunteer role, since they keep whittling bats into stakes and inserting iron tips into the balls.

Taylor has a lifetime ban from the underworld ride-sharing service Lyfe due to several incidents resulting in pierced upholstery.

Footage from Season 3, Day 98. Art by Onjit.

Peanut Vengeance and Feedback

On day 98 of Season 3, Taylor attempted to throw a spear into the heavens in order to bring down the Blaseball Gods themselves. Shortly after, they swallowed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction. These events are assuredly a coincidence, as is their later banishment to the underworld via feedback.

Since the allergic reaction, Taylor has been prone to shrinking and growing unexpectedly, diminishing their ability to hit and run to bases. However, the new condition has not affected their prowess at throwing spears while playing defensively.

Since feedback-ing from the Pies to the Tigers, Taylor has been provided with, according to onlookers, "just an unreasonable number of pikes, glaives, lances [...] A big pile of loose pole-based weapons." When asked to comment on why, Tigers manager Fearful Symmetry said, "We actually had those lying around already. We've been trying to get rid of them for ages."

When approached by the media, Spears has refused any glory or attention connected to this title, stating such excuses as "I had strep throat during the awards ceremony for Season 1, so I never actually received that award".

Singing Voice

Spears Taylor's origins are shrouded in mystery. However, many claim that they follow a similar fate as fellow Pies player Kennedy Cena, being an amalgamation of both Taylor Swift and Britney Spears. Since joining the Tigers, Hades fans have also begun to speculate that they may be a siren instead. Neither of these theories have been confirmed, but eyewitness karaoke reports testify to the beauty and horror of their singing.