Pentagram Drachma Coffee

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Pentagram Drachma Coffee, also known as simply "PDC", is the most popular (and only) coffee house chain in all of Tartarus. It was founded by Pentagram Drachma sometime after the reorganisation of Hades into circles.

History

Under Hadesian Law, jobs are legally considered a form of torment. Due to this, a number of businesses have sprouted in the midtier circles with the purpose of providing enough misery and damnation to aid souls in advancing onto the next circle and eventually reaching Elysium. Founder Pentagram Drachma, renowned shadowperson, used this legal loophole as an opportunity to help damned souls advance, and also get very rich, very quick.

Pentagram Drachma Coffee's newest slogan is "WAKE THE HELL UP", although they have not yet lost trademark on their old slogan, "Drink Coffee. You can sleep when you're dead."

Coffee

Coffee culture is very prevalent in Hades, and thus it is the most popular drink distributed by PDC. Other food items sold at the chains include sulfur pastries, magma chocolate, "Hellfire Hot" and "When Hell Freezes Cold" sandwiches, and smoothies. Their best-selling smoothie is The Pomegranate, which is specially popular during the summertime. Some claim to have spotted Hades celebrity Persephone with one at various Drachma Coffee locations, but as with all sightings of her these remain unconfirmed.

The Drachma Coffee brewing process is a trade secret, but some speculate that the beans are imported from Hellmouth, while the liquid used is an unholy combination of the five rivers that traverse Hades. Pentagram Drachma Coffee is not responsible for any blood boiling, memory loss, inconsolable crying, or other side effects that may occur before or after the consumption of coffee.

Coffee must never, ever be confused with Cloffee.

Relationship with Hades Tigers

Although not their primary sponsor, PDC has a partnership with the marketing department of the Hades Tigers. They have a paid "WAKE THE HELL UP" time during games. The contract initially stipulated this would occur when the Tigers were down, as a form of cheering the team up, but this was later changed to twice every game due to the infrequency of a Tigers loss.

A small Drachma Coffee stand can always be found at Tigers away games, manned by a specially bored shadowperson, although no one has ever seen the stand arrive or set up.

Ever since player coffee preferences became publicly available as a result of the Interviews Decree of Season β3, many avid Tigers fans have flocked to Drachma Coffee locations to order the same style of coffee as their favourite Blaseball Superstars.