Difference between revisions of "Simon Haley"

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{{Player|team=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]|rating={{Star Rating|1}}|status=Active|pronouns=Any|batting={{Star Rating|1}}|pitching={{Star Rating|0.5}}|baserunning={{Star Rating|4}}|defense={{Star Rating|1}}|item=None|armor=None|evolution=Base|ritual=Rain dance|coffee=Decaf|blood=AA|fate=63|soulscream=XHEEAXHEEAXOHAHAOHAHAOEEAAAEEAAAEIAAAAIAAAAIEEAAIEEAAIEAUIEIAUIEIA|image1=HaleyCard.png|caption1=Art by [https://twitter.com/Spiral_joe @Spiral_Joe] Logo by [https://twitter.com/longhairq @LonghairQ], Original Design by  [https://twitter.com/@Avery_Helm @ Avery Helm]|uuid  =020ed630-8bae-4441-95cc-0e4ecc27253b|title=|former=[[Canada Moist Talkers]]}}
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{{NewAutomatedPlayer
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'''Simon Haley''' is a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and has been with the team since [[Season 8]], Day 44.
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|image1=Simon card.png
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|caption1=Tlopps card by gamey {{Twitter|name=WerewolfGamey}}
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|former=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]
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|dates=Jul 30, 2020–present
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|position=Aerial Defender
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|shoe_specialty=Hi-tops and moon shoes
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|species=Comet
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|pronouns=Any/All
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|sexuality=
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|age=
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|relations=
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|rival=[[The Shelled One]]
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|nickname="The Comet"
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|horse=
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|likes=
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|dislikes=
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|player_twitter=
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|uuid  =020ed630-8bae-4441-95cc-0e4ecc27253b
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}}
  
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== Official League Records ==
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a player for the [[Canada Moist Talkers]], and has been with the team since [[Fall Ball]]. Haley has played for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]].
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Haley entered the league on the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] as a replacement for [[Trevino Merritt|Trevino Merrit]] after Merrit's [[incineration]] during [[Season 2]].
 
  
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During Season 3, Haley consumed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction. Haley's hitting rank dropped from two and a half stars to one star.
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__FORCETOC__
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==Official League Records==
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Haley joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] after the [[incineration]] of [[Trevino Merritt]] on {{BetaSeason|2}}, Day 72.
  
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On [[Season 8]], Day 44, Haley switched to the Shoe Thieves in a [[feedback]] event with [[Eugenia Garbage]].  
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On {{BetaSeason|3}}, Day 8, Haley swallowed a [[Peanuts|peanut]] and had an [[Peanuts_(weather)#Reactions|allergic]] reaction, resulting in a combined {{Star Change|9.8|5.9}} stat decrease.
  
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== History ==
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On {{BetaSeason|8}}, Day 44, Haley was exchanged to the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]] due to [[Feedback]]. Haley was replaced by [[Eugenia Garbage]].
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During the {{BetaSeason|8#Blessings 2}} election, the Shoe Thieves received the '''Radical Alchemy''' blessing, which randomized Haley's batting from {{Star Change|1.2|3.3}}
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On Day 7 of {{BetaSeason|10}}, Haley hit the first recorded pentaslam (5-run home run) and found the [[Blagonballs#4-Blood_Blagonball|4-Blood Blagonball]].
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On [[Day_X#Season_9|Season 9, Day X]], Haley gained the {{ModLink|Flinch}} modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to [[THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS]].
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On {{BetaSeason|10}}, Day 81, Haley's defensive ability was siphoned by [[Philly Pies]] lineup player [[Yeong-Ho Benitez]] in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather, decreasing it {{Star Change|1.0|0.7}}.
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In the {{BetaSeason|10#Blessings 2|@ elections}}, Haley received '''Noise-Cancelling Headphones''', becoming [[Modifications|Soundproof]]. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season 15.)
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During the [[Coffee Cup]], Haley played for [[Club de Calf]] as a lineup player.
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On {{BetaSeason|24}}, Day 83, Haley retreated to the Shoe Thieves' [[Shadows]] in exchange for [[Gallup Murphy]] due to [[Night]].
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During the December 16, 2022 [[Fall Ball]], Haley fell to the [[Canada Moist Talkers]].
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During the [[Season 1#Election Results|Season 1 Elections]], Haley gained the [[Knighted]] Modification, and embarked on a quest in the Moist Talkers' Shadows following the passing of the '''NEW Open the Forbidden Book''' Decree. They were replaced on the active roster by [[Pixie Carberry]].
 
{{Community Lore}}
 
{{Community Lore}}
  
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Simon Haley is rumored to be the lovechild of 18th Century English astronomer [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmond_Halley Edmond Halley] and the short-period comet [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halley%27s_Comet#:~:text=Halley's%20Comet%20or%20Comet%20Halley,twice%20in%20a%20human%20lifetime. 1P/Halley], conceived sometime following Edmond Halley's death in 1742.
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==Blaseball Career==
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===Achievements===
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Haley was voted ILB Rookie of the Year by fan vote at the end of {{BetaSeason|2}}. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|is|are|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} the first player to receive this award.
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==Personal Life==
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Simon Haley is rumored to be the lovechild of 18th Century English astronomer [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmond_Halley Edmond Halley] and the short-period comet [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halley%27s_Comet 1P/Halley], conceived sometime following Edmond Halley's death in 1742.
  
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Haley came down to the Moist Talkers from on high after Trevino Merritt's incineration, and was chosen to take Merrit's place after they displayed much of the same batting and running prowess as their predecessor had.
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Haley came down to the Moist Talkers from on high after Trevino Merritt's incineration, and was chosen to take Merritt's place after {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}}displayed much of the same batting and running prowess as {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} predecessor.
  
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After his unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley has devoted himself to his Anti-Peanut advocacy charity, the Peanut Defamation League. <br />
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After {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley founded the Anti-Peanut Alliance and devoted {{RandomPronoun|lower|reflexive|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} to it. After the {{BetaSeason|9}} playoffs, the Alliance began creating fliers proclaiming "Top 10 Anti-Peanut Tips For The Upcoming Battle Against God" and posting advice in a similar vein online. Following the fall of [[the Shelled One]], Haley is quoted saying "I'm just proud I could do my part to help." When asked what the Alliance would do next, Haley responded that "we may branch out to herald the defeat of other corrupt gods, but as of now we're back to fighting against the evils of the common nut. Did you know over 60% of ILB players are allergic?"
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==Nicknames==
 
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*The Comet
 
  
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==Achievements==
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On {{RandomPronoun|lower|adjective|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} swap to the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Haley told reporters that {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}}quickly slotted into the team's dynamic, in part due to pamphlets printed up by former teammate [[Lachlan Shelton]] to help former Talkers adapt to their new environment. Teammate [[Howell Franklin]] commented that "When you first talk to Simon, {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|seems|seem|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} like such a shy little thing. But when {{RandomPronoun|lower|subject|opens|open|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} up? Absolute chaos. {{RandomPronoun|upper|subject|just wants|just want|save=true|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} to yell. I respect that immensely." The two appear to be friends in some capacity as, after the season 10 game in which Haley hit the ILB's first ever recorded pentaslam, Franklin reportedly lifted {{RandomPronoun|lower|object|table={{UserWiki:Bugsbenedict/Simon_Haley_Pronouns}}}} onto their shoulders and did a lap around the field while Haley emitted whoops of delight.
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*Simon was voted IBL Rookie of the Year by fan vote at the end of season 2. They are the first player to receive this award.
 
  
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===Trivia===
  
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==Trivia==
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*Haley's birthday is July 12, 1986
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*His birthday is July 12, 1986
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*Haley is a Type 1 diabetic and has an insulin pump
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*Haley is a Type 1 Diabetic and has an insulin pump
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*Haley's favourite skittles are the green ones
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*Their favourite skittles are the green ones
 
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{{TeamNavSelector|moist talkers}}
 
  
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[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player]]
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==Fan Works==
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[[Category:Players]]
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<gallery>
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[[Category:Lineup Players]]
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File:HaleyCard.png|Simon Haley Tlopps card by {{Twitter|name=Spiral_Joe}}, logo by {{Twitter|name=LonghairQ}}, original design by {{Twitter|name=Avery_Helm}}
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[[Category:Fan Art]]
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File:Simonhaley tlopps.png|Tlopps card by homekeys on Discord
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[[Category:Former Canada Moist Talkers Players]]
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File:Simon card.png|Tlopps card by gamey {{Twitter|name=WerewolfGamey}}
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[[Category:Charleston Shoe Thieves]]
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File:Simon doodles.png|Doodles of Simon by {{Twitter|name=bugsbenedict}}
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File:Simon with the stars and stuff.png|by {{Twitter|name=bugsbenedict}}
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File:Simon and lars 1.png|Simon and Lars Taylor by {{Twitter|name=CKaelde}}
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File:Simon and lars 2.png|Simon and Lars during the Slostice by {{Twitter|name=CKaelde}}
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File:Simon ash.png|Simon by {{Twitter|name=revivificating}}
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File:Story about COWBOYS.png|Simon and Lars in Western outfits by {{Twitter|name=bugsbenedict}}
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File:ExKoufgWQAcUnqj.png|Simon partying by [https://solphy.tumblr.com/ @solphy]
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File:ExQH QbW8AIuowv.jpg|Simon, [[Pudge Nakamoto]], and [[Fitzgerald Wanderlust]] by [https://solphy.tumblr.com/ @solphy]
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File:Comet miniblaseball.png|Miniblaseballer by [https://miniblaseball.surge.sh/ @HetreaSky]
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File:WHOMST.jpg|''have we met?''<br />by '''[https://twitter.com/revivificating/status/1352093893819576322?s=20 Ash]'''
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File:2023CoronationSerHaley.png|Coronation Era Simon, out on his quest. Art by [https://www.tumblr.com/animg8r Lilg8r]
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</gallery>
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{{AutomatedPlayerNav|020ed630-8bae-4441-95cc-0e4ecc27253b|talkers}}
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|shoe thieves}}
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[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player‏‎]]
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[[Category:Players with a Tlopps card‏‎]]
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[[Category:Nominative Determinism]]
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[[Category:Nonhuman Players]]
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[[Category:Club de Calf]]
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[[Category:Players with the Knighted Modification]]

Latest revision as of 23:41, 14 March 2024

Simon Haley is a player for the Canada Moist Talkers, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Haley has played for the Charleston Shoe Thieves.


Official League Records

Haley joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Canada Moist Talkers after the incineration of Trevino Merritt on Season β2, Day 72.

On Season β3, Day 8, Haley swallowed a peanut and had an allergic reaction, resulting in a combined 9.8 → 5.9 stat decrease.

On Season β8, Day 44, Haley was exchanged to the Charleston Shoe Thieves due to Feedback. Haley was replaced by Eugenia Garbage.

During the Season β8 election, the Shoe Thieves received the Radical Alchemy blessing, which randomized Haley's batting from 1.2 → 3.3

On Day 7 of Season β10, Haley hit the first recorded pentaslam (5-run home run) and found the 4-Blood Blagonball.

On Season 9, Day X, Haley gained the Flinch modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

On Season β10, Day 81, Haley's defensive ability was siphoned by Philly Pies lineup player Yeong-Ho Benitez in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it 1.0 → 0.7 .

In the Season β10 elections, Haley received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season 15.)

During the Coffee Cup, Haley played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.

On Season β24, Day 83, Haley retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Gallup Murphy due to Night.

During the December 16, 2022 Fall Ball, Haley fell to the Canada Moist Talkers.

During the Season 1 Elections, Haley gained the Knighted Modification, and embarked on a quest in the Moist Talkers' Shadows following the passing of the NEW Open the Forbidden Book Decree. They were replaced on the active roster by Pixie Carberry.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Blaseball Career

Achievements

Haley was voted ILB Rookie of the Year by fan vote at the end of Season β2. They are the first player to receive this award.

Personal Life

Simon Haley is rumored to be the lovechild of 18th Century English astronomer Edmond Halley and the short-period comet 1P/Halley, conceived sometime following Edmond Halley's death in 1742.

Haley came down to the Moist Talkers from on high after Trevino Merritt's incineration, and was chosen to take Merritt's place after xe displayed much of the same batting and running prowess as his predecessor.

After eir unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley founded the Anti-Peanut Alliance and devoted zirself to it. After the Season β9 playoffs, the Alliance began creating fliers proclaiming "Top 10 Anti-Peanut Tips For The Upcoming Battle Against God" and posting advice in a similar vein online. Following the fall of the Shelled One, Haley is quoted saying "I'm just proud I could do my part to help." When asked what the Alliance would do next, Haley responded that "we may branch out to herald the defeat of other corrupt gods, but as of now we're back to fighting against the evils of the common nut. Did you know over 60% of ILB players are allergic?"

On their swap to the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Haley told reporters that they quickly slotted into the team's dynamic, in part due to pamphlets printed up by former teammate Lachlan Shelton to help former Talkers adapt to their new environment. Teammate Howell Franklin commented that "When you first talk to Simon, they seem like such a shy little thing. But when they open up? Absolute chaos. They just want to yell. I respect that immensely." The two appear to be friends in some capacity as, after the season 10 game in which Haley hit the ILB's first ever recorded pentaslam, Franklin reportedly lifted xir onto their shoulders and did a lap around the field while Haley emitted whoops of delight.

Trivia

  • Haley's birthday is July 12, 1986
  • Haley is a Type 1 diabetic and has an insulin pump
  • Haley's favourite skittles are the green ones

Fan Works


Canada Moist Talkers 🗣
Players Batters
Pitchers
Shadows
BuriedBennett Takahashi · Justice Valenzuela · Stephanie Winters · Cell Longarms
Former · Full List
Stats Season (NEW)1
Season (Beta)1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23· 24
CircuitGamma 2 · Gamma 3 · Gamma 4
Ballpark Gleek Arena
Community Lore
Staff Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle · THE MAW · Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle · The Moist Owlette · H O R K · The ORB
Places Halifax · Canada
History Canada Moist Talkers' History
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏
TALK SPIT, GET HITS

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