Spears Taylor

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Revision as of 16:52, 26 August 2020 by Onjit (talk | contribs) (→‎Gallery)

Spears Taylor is a lineup player for the Hades Tigers. Taylor has been a member of the team since Season 4.


Official League Records

Spears entered the league in Season 1 as a member of the Philly Pies.

On Season 3, Day 98, Taylor swallowed a stray peanut and suffered an allergic reaction. This lowered their rating from ★★½ to ★.

On Season 4, Day 43, Taylor was caught in a Feedback loop and swapped teams with Jessica Telephone, changing from the Philly Pies to the Hades Tigers.


Polearm Incidents

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Spears Taylor was at one time rated the second most anticapitalistic (warning: FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE) player in the league due to a history of throwing literal spears at capitalists. Taylor is perhaps best known for the incident where they threw a partizan at Bees Kneesos, or the time they made the news for clipping Eli Rank with a halberd. They love to steal... those bases!

Footage from Season 3, Day 98. Art by Onjit.

On day 98 of Season 3, Taylor attempted to throw a spear into the heavens in order to bring down the Blaseball Gods themselves. Shortly after, they swallowed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction. These events are assuredly a coincidence, as is their later banishment to the underworld via feedback.

Since feedback-ing from the Pies to the Tigers, Taylor has been provided with, according to onlookers, "just an unreasonable number of pikes, glaives, lances [...] A big pile of loose pole-based weapons." When asked to comment on why, Tigers manager Fearful Symmetry said, "We actually had those lying around already. We've been trying to get rid of them for ages."


Singing Voice

Spears Taylor's origins are shrouded in mystery. However, many claim that they follow a similar fate as fellow Pies player Kennedy Cena, being an amalgamation of both Taylor Swift and Britney Spears. Since joining the Tigers, Hades fans have also begun to speculate that they may be a siren instead. Neither of these theories have been confirmed, but eyewitness karaoke reports testify to the beauty and horror of their singing.