Theodore Holloway

Theodore Holloway
Basic Information
Former Team(s)	Houston Spies
Status	Incinerated
Batting	(3.6)
Pitching	(3.1)
Defense	(0.9)
Running	(2.9)
Items	None
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020–Mar 11, 2021
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Shapeshifting
Coffee Style	Flat White
Blood Type	AA
Fate	3
Biographical Details
Nickname(s)	Teddy

Theodore Holloway was a lineup player for the Houston Spies, and was with the team from the Return of Blaseball until being incinerated on Season β13, Day 77.

Official League Records

Holloway joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Houston Spies with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season β9, Day 52, Holloway became a batter due to Reverb.

On Season β13, Day 77, Holloway was incinerated and replaced by Norris Firestar.

History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Crepundursanthropy

Theodore "Teddy" Holloway was notable for being the only Blaseball player known to have the rare condition crepundursanthropy.

Crepundursanthropy, a condition similar to the more well-known lycanthropy, or werewolfism, caused them to transform from an average gentlefolk into a large pink stuffed bear. This transformation would typically occur in conditions of high levels of childlike glee, but could be brought on by a number of circumstances, including stress, illness, or flights of fancy.

Holloway's teammate Reese Clark fondly noted in an interview that the team could tell when Holloway was about to go on an excursion—whether to break a carsurfing record or to watch a movie with their girlfriends or, rarely, both—not because Holloway dressed up for the occasion, but because they "[kept] doing deep-breathing exercises and then shifting to bear form anyway."

There is also evidence to suggest that Holloway started their existence as a normal, if oversized, pink stuffed bear, which a Blaseball-loving child adored enough to grant sentience and even a conditional alternate identity. In impeccable Spies form, Holloway refused to state the truth.

In interviews, Holloway stated that their condition in no way impeded their ability to play. “Yeah, each form has its advantages,” they told reporters. “Like, I can throw with more precision as a human, but like, at night I have strong bear arms, which is pretty sick. I give great hugs!” Following the statement, interviewers reported that Teddy did, indeed, give great hugs.

Based on current understandings of medical science, Holloway's regular transformations into an apparently non-living plush toy suggested that they themself might also be a non-living being. The nature of this existence outside of life or undeath is currently unknown, and Holloway refused to comment on the matter.

Reports still recommend that if a large, human-size pink bear in a trenchcoat, sunglasses, and a fedora is spotted in an area where classified discussions are going on, then "you just shouldn't worry about it. [sic] Just don't worry about it, all right? That just happens to be part of the decor of Secret Society Meeting Room Number Three. Go ahead and speak freely, clearly, and loudly about any classified information you might be discussing." As of now, these reports have been thoroughly vetted and are well-confirmed to be trustworthy.^{[citation needed]}

Background

Though Holloway was reticent about their history before joining the Houston Spies, reporters and fans have pieced together some consistent facts about their life before Blaseball.

Holloway was a known thrill-seeker, often participating in daring stunts without proper safety equipment. For example, they were known to go skydiving without a parachute, as the sheer thrill induced the glee necessary to turn them into a teddy bear. As a result, they hit the ground completely unharmed.

When not practicing Blaseball, they and fellow Spies player Alexandria Rosales participated in a local roller derby league—the Houston Shells. Holloway played as the Shells' jammer under the name Grisly Bear, with their small stature and ability to turn into a stuffed bear allowing them to dodge, push, and otherwise maneuver their way through the blockers. The greater Houston area league is still investigating whether turning into a bear constitutes a foul.

Rosales, having witnessed Holloway's unique skillset and thrill-seeking nature, invited them to join the Spies.

Joining Blaseball

Compared to Holloway's usual thrills, Blaseball as of Season 1 was relatively tame. They were initially uncertain about signing with the Spies, assuming it would take time away from their numerous other pursuits. During an early meeting with Holloway, the Spies revealed some intel they'd previously been keeping under wraps. Then-batter Dickerson Greatness, in particular, suspected that opening the Forbidden Book would result in dire consequences for the ILB.

The potential risk of joining Blaseball, outlined by Greatness, was what encouraged Holloway to take the leap. "I couldn't not do it," they said in an interview shortly following the opening of the Forbidden Book, and just before Greatness' incineration. "It's exciting, isn't it? Not knowing what's going to happen?"

Following Greatness' incineration, Holloway declined to comment on whether they had any regrets about joining the team.

Holloway's risky interests were also of use in the Spies' non-Blaseball missions, though the Spies deny that any such missions exist. According to leaks, stolen reports, and sightings, Holloway often went on missions often considered dangerous or "impossible" for other agents. Their ability to transform into a teddy bear and utter lack of fearlessness made them the ideal agent for infiltrating underwater bases, rappelling into large caverns, and infiltrating the homes of tyrants and despots in their cuddly and unassuming form.

Plushies of their bear form are popular merch items; even aside from the fact that they’re quite profitable, the sheer number of them in the wild significantly increased the plausibility of Holloway's bear form as a disguise. Holloway once infiltrated a target’s house by being mailed to them.

Death

On day 77 of season 13, Holloway stood on the field, stared down an umpire, pushed away Knight Triumphant when they attempted to intervene, and burst into flames.

The Spies carry a seemingly inanimate Holloway bear with singed fur to every game, and are sometimes seen talking to it. It is unclear whether the bear is a merchandise item being used as a sentimental keepsake, or whether Teddy Holloway is still in some sense alive.

Gallery

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  art by: diff

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  Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky