Al Pastor

Manager
Title	Manager
Species	Humanoid

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Albert "Al" Pastor is the manager for the Unlimited Tacos, and namesake of the Al Pastor Memorial Park. A native to Los Angeles, Al Pastor had spent much of his career as an executive for the Dlisney Cooperative before championing the commercially-failed feature film I Married My Surfboard, and ultimately choosing to stay with the new blaseball franchise.

Al Pastor has been called by splorts press "an effective, if eccentric" manager, and is credited with attracting players Rat Mason and Mcdowell Mason via an aggressive policy of defending player privacy. He is most easily recognized by his signature headwear, a good-luck pineapple hat.

Death and Return

Leading up to The Discipline Era, management staff reported that Al Pastor began making unexpected personal expenditures and preparations, offering "cryptic" explanations that "everything was falling into place," and, "nobody gets one over a Pastor." During the Season 1 playoffs, Pastor unexpectedly disappeared and could not be contacted for an "extended period." Police reports would later indicate that his pineapple hat was discovered in an abandoned peanut butter factory in the Los Angeles Arts District.

In an official press release, franchise owner Guy Myrington confirmed Pastor's death and declared it the "darkest day in Los Angeles history." Myrington called for 30 days of citywide mourning despite reminders that "[he] doesn't have the authority to do this kind of [unusual] [thing]." Afterwards, Tacos Park was officially re-named Al Pastor Memorial Park to commemorate Pastor's contributions to city culture, as well as support of inter-mural blaseball leagues throughout Southern California.

Al Pastor resumed managerial duties at the start of Season 2, making his first public appearance bearing his signature hat. When interviewed, he offered no concrete explanations for his disappearance, his declaration as deceased, or the publication of his obituary. With a "wink and a smile," Pastor allegedly stated the following:

"There were things I had to know. Things you can't learn when they think you're alive. You'll understand when you're older."

There are numerous^[source?] theories as to why Pastor "faked" his death. The most common theory (according to reblog counts at the time of writing) argues that this was an elaborate attempt to "get under the skin" of the Tacos' rivals, the Chicago Firefighters. Other theories include an attempt to legally evade numerous parking fines; that Al Pastor truly died and has been replaced with a perfect double; or a miscommunication regarding his scheduled vacation time.

There are no plans to rename Al Pastor Memorial Park in light of Pastor's apparent existence. As of writing, the Los Angeles Department of Parks & Recreation has declined journalistic requests to comment on the incident.

Who is Al Pastor?

As many a Los Angeli resident will say, the existence of infinite variations of people they know does lead to some confusion. Because of this, the casual attitude of the LA California has increased in absurdity, to the point where the various different versions of centaur Sexton Wheerer, well loved blaseball player and cultural icon, has not warranted any concern. Visitors to Los Angeli have a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that a typical Los Angeli resident's friend group sometimes consists of several different versions of themselves, but what has confused people the most is the identity of the Unlimited Tacos manager, Al Pastor.

Up until the start of blaseball Season 4. Al Pastor has been an exact lookalike to Al Pacino. Al Pastor might have been Al Pacino. After Season 4 started, however people have also seen Al Pastor as Dany DeVito. And Guy Fieri, who appeared as Al Pastor in Season 5. Numerous accounts of seeing Al Pastor as these different celebrities have been heard across the infinte LA's. The blaseball team also has different accounts of interacting with different celebrity Al Pastor's. Patel Beyonce, a well loved blaseball player for the Unlimited Tacos, once said, "I'm not sure who Al Pastor actually is anymore. Ever since The Grand Unslam it's just a new person every season. But they all dress the same, they all have the same pineapple hat and sunglasses, and they all talk the same. Exactly the same. But it's chill. Hey, do you want a taco?"

In Season 6, known as the EPT Era, the Al Pastor title was passed onto the well known singer Shania Twain. Her music didn’t quite sound the same with Al Pastors many different duo-tone voices overlapping it, but the effort was appreciated. In Season 7, the Snackrifice was heavily supported by a pineapple-hat wearing Dolly Parton. The Tacos all agreed that they appreciated these new versions of Al Pastor, as they were much more friendly and helpful than the Al Pastors of the past.

So who is Al Pastor? The question remain unanswered, but a theory is that Al Pastor is not a person at all, but the remnants of capitalism still in the infinite anti-capitalist Los Angeli , possessing the good celebrities of Hlollywood and Bleverly Hills in a desperate, last ditch effort to survive in a cities where it is not wanted. Or, is Al Pastor a sentient hat, latching onto the heads of the rich and famous and using their celebrity platform and fan base to sustain themselves. Or, does Al Pastor exist at all? is it just a title, passed on from person to person, who, it is noted, have no recollection of ever being Al Pastor?

These questions remain unanswered.

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