UserWiki:Aquelon

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Post-PODS

Upon the defeat of the Shelled One, Bong fell back to the plane and landed in Los Angeli. They received a less-than-warm welcome, as the Tacos, having lost six players to the PODS, were frustrated that of all the options they could have gotten back they got Bong. Sexton Wheerer was one of the players to initially resent Bong, and concerned about Bong’s (lack of) pitching skills, but accepted that this was his break from pitching every single game and that that was a good thing, and so reluctantly befriended Bong. In retrospect, the team has expressed guilt at taking their grudge out on him, and by the end of the Grand Siesta they were getting along somewhat better.

Bong himself was somewhat abrasive towards the team at first, as a defense mechanism. They avoided talking to their teammates, avoided team activities, and deflected from conversation with sometimes-obnoxious jokes, and it took them several weeks to come out of their shell. He missed his old teammates greatly. However, they found the lack of expectations in Los Angeli freeing, as the Bong family was not as big a deal there as back in Miami. Bong and Valentine Games were known to often have long conversations over ice cream.

Season 12

On Season 12, Day 37, Wyatt Quitter Shelled Denzel Scott, revealing that that was something Honey Roasted players could do. The Tacos took that fact with varying degrees of horror, especially Wheerer, who had experience being Shelled. This meant that six former Tacos could now inflict upon others what they had been through, but, just as damning, everyone could guess what it meant for Bong. To varying extents, the team treated him a bit like a bomb about to go off after that point, and he reportedly felt the same way.

On Season 12, Day 56, Bong Shelled Nerd Pacheco. Reportedly, Bong experienced the entire Discipline Era over the span of less than a second, an extreme form of sensory overload.

The game went into extra innings and I-I just remember feeling so angry. Like suddenly, the fact that no one really wanted me here, that I couldn’t be any of the people they wanted, was all I could think about. And that this was probably going to be my last season of play, and that I wasn’t even good enough for the god damn Tacos, and… And I was just so angry about it, and I just had to take it out on someone, and… If it had been completely involuntary, maybe I could just shrug it off, though I’d definitely still be thinking about the ethics of putting that right. But I can’t do that, and that scares me.

When asked for comment, Wheerer said,

This ain't good. This really ain't good. I can't protect my friends from being Shelled again, and I can't protect 'em from Shelling anyone else, and... I don't want to blame the kid, y'know? And I don't want them to feel I'm scared of them, because that ain't what they need in their life... but- but I'm just a bit wary, is all.

By the end of Season 12, having quite possibly carried the team to Party Time, Bong was at his emotional rock bottom.

In the election that season, Bong was shadowed in exchange for Yummy Elliott. Elliott was genuinely excited to meet him, and did not have the same grudge that the rest of the Tacos had carried. She introduced herself with a stammered “Bongers”, a line which would soon become one of zir catchphrases. Elliott’s kindness was a major help for Bong, and the two soon became friends. Their friendship often manifests as cartoonishly melodramatic overacting, dramatically exaggerating differences of food opinion such as how much brown sugar should be added to chocolate chip cookies.

Nicholas Vincent was another player to soon join active play, and a source of support both for Elliott and for Bong. Xe was not as close a friend to Bong as Elliott was, but was still a friend.

Season 13

In Season 13, a wavy yellow line appeared on the idol board, hovering around the ninth or tenth slot in a manner that made many people concerned. Teams across the league devised a plan to try and test it out in a potentially less risky manner, and dubbed the plan the Dom Wom Joe Bong Yams Con MVP Plan Extravaganza, Now With Extra Pickles. The plan suffered from a poorly-timed complication that may have hindered its success; the incineration of Combs Estes and Sutton Bishop occurred shortly before fans could fully mobilize, and understandably left Jazz Hands and Sunbeams fans preoccupied with funeral arrangements. It was, however, still a partial success: of the six participants, Bong and Sutton Picklestein were the two to make it above the squiggle. This was the same success rate as the plan to get all three Peanut players above the ominous red line had had, and once again involved Bong.

Because of this, Bong gained a single level of Ego and was included on the list of MVPs that was read out by the Coin. An image of the Coin reading out Bong's name went viral multiple times on every social media.

Bong described becoming an MVP as a very validating moment:

I’m kinda a joke. That’s just the facts! And ultimately, sometimes, that’s a good thing. Like, if everyone looks at the name “Peanut Bong” and decides, that’s funny, it’d be great to get them over the ominous yellow squiggly, then that means other people don’t have to go above the line. And we all know lines are dangerous!

Really, I’m just glad for the reminder that people actually like me. That I matter. And if that can be used to protect even just one other person, well, isn’t that all anyone can ask for?

Plus, did you see when the Coin said “Peanut Bong”? How funny is that?

In The Shadows

Bong has used his time shadowed to practice many hobbies, including knitting and baking “chaotically”. He can often be seen cooking breakfast in a frilly yet practical apron, and alongside Elliott (and very rarely, fellow baker Wyatt Dovenpart), has produced a series of ridiculous cooking videos best described as slapstick. He also continues to be a philosopher, preferring to discuss ridiculous hypotheticals over more serious things, such as figuring out what ratio of horse-sized ducks to duck-sized horses their teammates would prefer to fight. They have been taking a variety of community college classes for fun. They are also one of the only ones to actually do the laundry on the Tacos.

Bong has become friends with many players from or in the Tacos’ shadows, partially due to having spent lots of time together. Although Bong is somewhat on the outside of McKinley Otten and Rat Batson’s friendship, he was helpful towards Otten’s recovery from consumer bites, and like the other two, has a job at the stadium. Bong’s job is to be part of the stadium media team, handling camera work and replays (and stuff). They have a propensity for mischief but are very good at catching small details. He has been known to pick the music to play over stadium loudspeakers, demonstrating a biting sense of comedy in his song choices during Michelle Sportsman’s Underhanded games. However, when interviewed he swears excessively so that the clips are unairable, “‘cause it’s %#&@ funny!” Bong is known to be the most tech-literate Taco.

Michelle Sportsman, who dislikes using nicknames, is the only one to refer to Bong as “Peanut”. Sportsman also does not even know that he used to be named Dan, having only joined the league by the Season 11 Postseason. Indeed, even for early-season players, using Bong’s original name is highly unintuitive; this sort of easy-to-gloss-over name replacement weirdness is all too familiar to the Tacos, but for the most part they use his full name or nicknames such as “Nutty” or “PBong”.

Bong and Vito Kravitz both enjoy doing things for the sake of being funny, and their annual prank show extravaganza is infamous. Bong also has a lot in common with NaN, and the two get along well.

When asked about his feelings on The Shelled One and their time on its PODS, Bong said, “In retrospect, it was kinda whiny! Really annoying to have in your head constantly!” Further details about his experience on the PODS are unknown. They have regularly scheduled therapy sessions with Otten and other licensed LA-area therapists, but as of mid-Season 20 have reportedly missed five of the last seven sessions, citing “[not liking] to think about this stuff”.

Revenge of Season 12

On Season 18, Day 107, near the end of the sixth inning, Bong began to panic during a dinner with some of the other Tacos shadows. Nerd Pacheco had just experienced the first-- and to date, the only-- superallergic reaction in known ILB history. This very nearly zeroed out their stars. Bong looked visibly unwell for the next several weeks, clearly horrified by this outcome of his own actions. He shut himself in his room and refused to talk to anyone for several days.

While Pacheco’s blaseball performance has never recovered, they appear to be content with their new role of full-time research and teaching from the Pies’ shadows. Most of the Sunbeams forgive Bong. This has not entirely stopped Bong from blaming himself.

Revenge of Season 13

Due to the Dom Wom Joe Bong Yams Con MVP Plan Extravaganza Now With Extra Pickles, Bong had a single level of Ego by the end of Season 23, and so played in the Semi-Centennial. They were the lowest star-rated batter on the Rising Stars, and the Rising Stars player with the lowest combined star rating overall.

The following is an article written by Vault officials as part of their media coverage of the match, published alongside articles on the other Semi-Centennial participants. Budget cuts and time constraints due to the explosion of Sun(Sun) and, later, the brief period of Instability the Vault went through resulted in the publication being released with a little bit less propagandizing than normal.

Rising Stars: Peanut Bong

Peanut Bong.

Former POD, destroyer of Nerd Pacheco’s whole career, and all-around person named Peanut Bong, this Rising Star brings a fascinatingly funny history to the match! Who knows what unlimited dangers this progeny not-quite-prodigy could bring to the field? Surely this inheritor of the legume's legacy is the greatest threat in this game! But how could anyone possibly be angry at them, or concerned for them, or anything other than absolutely amused, when his most important feature is right there for all to see: the name Peanut Bong!

When asked for comment by League officials in the day and a half between the formation of the Rising Stars and the start of the Semi-Centennial, Bong said “Uhh this seems really serious all of a sudden. But also we all know that this is totally a scam to unleash fiery Parker upon the league. But also #@?& this is the scary waiting room bit.”

Inning-By-Inning Breakdown:

Bong had a largely unremarkable performance throughout the game, only getting on base once but still providing some support to his team. During the first twelve innings of the game, they caught outs from Aldon Cashmoney and Wyatt Glover.

In the top of the sixth inning, Bong had their first at-bat. They struck out looking after three pitches. During this at-bat, Sutton Bishop was stolen by the Vault Legends.

In the top of the twelfth inning, Bong had their second at-bat. He struck out swinging after four pitches. During this at-bat, Tillman Henderson was stolen by the Vault Legends. Bong would go on to catch a flyout from Henderson during the eighteenth inning, and hit a ground out to Henderson in the twenty-third inning for their fourth at-bat.

In the bottom of the fourteenth inning, shortly after catching a flyout from Paula Turnip, Bong was directly referenced by Lōotcrates (commenting on that inning’s Weather Report), who said “SEASON 3: THE PEANUT PLAGUE / Benevolence, Blasphemy / Progeny, Peanut Bong”. Lōotcrates then repeated themselves, again saying “Peanut Bong”. Hey, remember when the Coin said that? Isn’t that a nice callback!

In the top of the eighteenth inning, Bong had their third at-bat. They immediately hit a ground out to Parker MacMillan.

In the top of the twenty-ninth inning, Bong had their fifth at-bat. Bong drew a walk, but ultimately got out on a double play alongside Rosales Darkness. Interestingly, Sutton Bishop was pitching! That double play was also the last out of the game, as in the bottom of the twenty-ninth inning, the Sun(Sun) sadly exploded before any outs could be recorded, ending the game in a draw.

Bong was initially reluctant to provide comment on their experience afterwards, but eventually said,

I mean, "Peanut Bong", amiright?

...Okay, you don't have to look at me like you want me to say more. What more is there to say?

Game sucked? It was bad? Zero outta ten do not recommend?

Because me, I'm doing just dandy, obviously. Totally just...

...

…I…

Y’know, Val Games was one of the people that the Dom Wom… the plan a while back… saved from getting ego? And they’re… it didn’t…

And- and Tillman’s always been a bit of a joke, oh he owes me fifty bucks, et cetera, and- and so have I! It could’ve been me! Easily! I watched him get grabbed!

At least Sutton got out. Both Suttons. At least Spicklestein’s alive now and Sbishop got out, but… didn’t know it was going to. At the time. And- and- and… on top of e-everything else, all I could think about was… Sutton was a Beams batter, when I… and Tillman just barely avoided being on the Thieves or Crabs when…

It could’ve been me, glaring them down with dead and hungry eyes. It… I…

I thought the MVP plan thingie would be a good thing!

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Following the Semi-Centennial, Bong was returned to the Tacos’ shadows. Sutton Picklestein, the formerly deceased other participant in the Dom Wom Joe Bong Yams Con MVP Plan Extravaganza Now With Extra Pickles, wound up on the Flowers. Due to the Vault Swap blessing, Sutton Bishop also ultimately wound up on the Flowers. Tillman Henderson remained in the Vault.

Season 24

At the start of Season 24, Bong, still very shaken from the Semi-Centennial, resolved to reconnect with his friends and former teammates wherever possible.

The Tacos played against the Atlantis Georgias, the current home team of Bong's longtime best friend Randy Dennis, from Day 7 to Day 9 of Season 24. After each game of the series, Bong and Dennis spent some time hanging out together. They visited skate parks all over Los Angeli, where Dennis finally got to show Bong that they'd learned how to do a really good kickflip. Dennis's perky, devil-may-care attitude was a major help in snapping Bong out of his funk.

On Day 28 of the season, Dennis was hit by a pitch and Observed. She tried their best to just laugh it off, while Bong sent her long phone calls every day until the Observation cleared without incident.

It is telling that, despite the several personal tragedies of Season 24, Bong ended the season marginally better off than they started the season. They kept in touch with most of the people they reconnected with that season, and were seen visiting Otten's office more regularly than before. It is unclear to what extent he is emotionally recovering over this extended siesta, however, but there is hope.