Official League Records
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Denzel Scott Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-210.78 and start reading...
Denzel Scott is the name of various cars whose license plates read DNZL SCT. Scott appears in many different forms and the limits of their transformation abilities are not known. As a car, Scott can take many forms, often opting for a sporty or subtle look. Some of Scott’s popular forms include an Honda Odyssey, an inconspicuous telephone company van, a limousine, an Aston Martin DB5, KITT, and a 1958 Denzel 1300WD. Unredacted records of the Houston Spies do not indicate how Scott came to be a member of the Spies agency nor of the Spies Blaseball team, and efforts to interview Scott on these points have thus far only been met with Scott peeling out and driving away.
Upon first joining the Spies, they were one of the teams worst pitchers, alongside Math Velazquez, until both received replacement elbows, despite neither having arms. Because of a Season 9, Day 52 Reverb event, both became hitters, where they have performed well. When hitting the ball, Scott does not use a bat, but rather opens a door to slam it into the ball.
While Scott can communicate via speech through the various car radios (and in one instance an ice cream truck speaker), documents reveal they prefer to communicate through selective song playing, finding appropriate lyrical responses to the conversation. When Scott curses or discusses classified information, the car horn honks, censoring whatever it was they said. Observation reveals that any number of passengers can fit into their various forms, as the entire Houston Spies Blaseball team has been observed entering Scott’s Honda Odyssey form, despite a standard Honda Odyssey only containing room for seven passengers. Observation also reveals that only Son Scotch is allowed to sit in the driver’s seat.
Scott is a polite and conscientious vehicle. Whenever passengers go to enter their various forms, the doors always open for them, and the interior is always the perfect temperature for each passenger. Scott also volunteers for designated driver duty whenever necessary. Interviews with Spies reveal that Scott also does the dishes without being asked, pays the rent early, and keeps the bathrooms at Spies HQ sparklingly clean, despite being a car and seemingly being incapable of performing such tasks. These same interviews state that Scott has never been observed doing these tasks, and never states they’ve done them, and yet every Spy knows instinctively Scott was responsible.
Scott was the first player in the League to be Shelled in the Expansion Era. On Season 12 Day 37, in a game against the Tokyo Lift, they were shelled by Wyatt Quitter. Though the event was televised, many rumors abound about precisely how and why Quitter shelled Scott. All stories converge, though, on Denzel's shell sitting on second base.
Scott’s time in the shell was bleak. Scott was known for having a sort of “normalcy” field, which allowed them to ignore metaphysical barriers and effects by simply not noticing them. When Shelling proved to be able to overpower this effect, though, Scott’s world was shattered. Popular speculation is that the Shelling forced them to come to terms with living in a reality where being trapped and isolated in a peanut shell for months was possible. For their part, Scott refuses to talk about their time in the shell.
Return to the Team
Scott was finally unshelled on Season 13, Day 105, in the middle of the playoffs series against the Chicago Firefighters. Their exit was sudden, and Scott was not prepared to start playing again. The Spies ended up losing this series 3-2.
It was only then that Scott learned about the incineration of former teammate Theodore “Teddy” Holloway, which had happened earlier in Season 13. It was unclear how Scott took the news, but shortly after this, Son Scotch was incinerated early in Season 14. After this event, Scott frequently left the team behind after games to "go for a drive," and would disappear for hours. However, reports from around this time say that no car matching Scott's description was ever recorded leaving or entering any parking lots during the time Scott was gone.
In the seasons that followed, Scott was regularly swept Elsewhere. They found themselves frequently accompanied by fellow spy Comfort Septemberish. The two bonded over their shared experiences. They eventually began going on missions together, with Scott often acting as Septemberish’s getaway driver.
While dealing with the aftermath of being shelled, Scott became close with newly unshadowed Spies pitcher and safety scientist Mohammed Picklestein. Picklestein was very fond of Scott, and ended up giving them a Fireproof Ring on Season 19 Day 51. The duo didn’t fully realize the implications of the gesture until a couple of other agents congratulated them on their “engagement.” The official story is that Picklestein merely accidentally kneeled to grab something before handing the ring to Scott.