Sixpack Santiago

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Revision as of 19:51, 1 March 2021 by ShadowWesley77 (talk | contribs) (→‎Controversies: Added closing quotation)

Sixpack Santiago is a pitcher for the Miami Dale, and has been with the team since Season 3, Day 6 following the incineration of Theodore Passon.

Official League Records

Santiago entered the ILB on Season 3, Day 6 due to the incineration of Theodore Passon.

On Season 3, Day 84, Santiago swallowed a peanut during a game against the Canada Moist Talkers and had an allergic reaction, lowering their rating.

On Season 5, Day 74, Santiago became a pitcher due to Reverb and was replaced in the lineup by Don Elliott.

Santiago partied on Season 7, Day 97 and gained a half star in each stat.

Personal Life

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Santiago enjoys swimming and running. He often participates in 10ks and swim meets during the off season. He believes his active lifestyle will improve blaseball performance.

Santiago regularly posts selfies to his twitter, often outside in Miami or near an opponent team's stadium. Santiago enjoys talking to la familia. Their encouragement helps him to power through his frequent strikeouts.

Santiago recently lost to Avila Guzman in all three events of the Dale donut triathlon (car, eating, and boat).

Santiago has one younger cousin, with whom he enjoys playing video games such as CLOD, Stardlew Valley, Digbuild, and Plokemon Glo.

Controversies

It is said that Sixpack Santiago looks just like someone you used to go to high school with. He looks, in fact, like the very platonic ideal of a High School Jock.

"I can't explain it but every time I see him he looks like one of the jocks I used to go school with, but never quite the same!" — notorious Dale fan

The public is generally very confused by Santiago. A small sect of Miami fans claim that Santiago is a shapeshifter.

"I have followed Santiago for years! I have taken pictures! He changes every single day! He might look the same to you, but the discerning eye knows!" — notorious Conspiracy Theorist

Santiago denies this allegation. "That's ridiculous. I look the same every day." He has refused DNA testing and further medical examination multiple times.

Fanart