Freemium Seraph

Freemium Seraph
art by @MaybeAMako
Basic Information
Team	Canada Moist Talkers
Former Team(s)	Tokyo Lift
Status	Incinerated
Batting	(3.5)
Pitching	(2.6)
Defense	(3.2)
Running	(3.7)
Modifications	FlippersWhen immateria floods, this Runner will score instead of being cleared from the Bases.
Items	Ambitious Helmet ●○
Dates Active	Oct 18, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Strength training
Coffee Style	Plenty of Sugar
Blood Type	Grass
Fate	84
Biographical Details
Pronouns	It/Its or They/Them
Nickname(s)	Sera
Jersey Number	121

Freemium Seraph is a player in the Shadows for the Canada Moist Talkers, and has been with the team since the Season β21 elections. Seraph has played for the Tokyo Lift.

Official League Records

Seraph joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Tokyo Lift during the Season β10 elections after the Ascension of the Baltimore Crabs.

During the Season β13 elections, Seraph received the Flippers modification as a result of the Spare Flippers blessing.

During the Season β14 elections, Seraph's hitting stats were re-rolled thrice as a result of the Soul Swap blessing. (1.9 → 1.6 , 1.6 → 2.5 , 2.5 → 2.9 )

Seraph was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for Cudi Di Batterino during the Season β21 elections via the Lift's Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

On Season β22, Day 25, Seraph retreated to the Moist Talkers' Shadows in exchange for Beasley Gloom as a result of the Gleek Arena's Fax Machine.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Freemium Seraph Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-0.100 and start reading...

Background

When asked about their history, Seraph has been perfectly candid about not remembering any of it. Their first memory is falling out of the sky, holding on tightly to their bass guitar, and crash landing in Tokyo. Seraph wandered around long enough to determine that they weren’t completely human, but weren’t entirely sure what they were.

Eventually Seraph took its guitar to a music store and asked about its origins. The awestruck proprietor told Seraph that the guitar was a legendary item, and spent twenty-one minutes explaining its backstory, symbolic importance, appearances throughout history, and significance to two separate rock and roll prophecies. Seraph has said they don’t remember any of this, but they do remember that the guitar was made of an element called freemium, which was a cool enough name that they adopted it for themself.

Seraph spent most of its time as a wandering musician. Over time it realized that the supernatural properties of the guitar interacted with its own supernatural properties, allowing them to walk through walls, float, and play some nasty bass lines.

Joining the Tokyo Lift

Seraph wandered throughout Japan, and occasionally made forays into the rest of east Asia, filling in for local bands and busking. Eventually word reached Yusef Fenestrate, a student of music-based phenomena. Having recently joined the Tokyo Lift, Fenestrate reached out to Seraph, who happily joined the team.

During the seventh inning stretch, Seraph enjoys meeting fans in the stands and will occasionally play their bass for entertainment. All current and former musicians on other teams, or even music enthusiasts, have described having conversations with Seraph about music. These conversations have been in turns thoughtful, emotionally stirring, vaguely disturbing, and hysterically funny. Seraph has claimed that they consider it a win any time they hear about a new music genre, and by this metric, it has never lost a game.

Seraph will not bat with its bass. Stop asking.

Going to the Canada Moist Talkers

After spending several seasons resisting the siren call of other teams and new musical cultures to explore, Seraph got into a record nine-hour-long debate/conversation/argument/emotional catharsis with Ziwa Mueller about the history of punk music. Former Lift teammate Cudi Di Batterino, who had been homesick, offered to return to Tokyo so that Seraph could explore the Canadian punk scene.

Initially there were some concerns about Seraph’s ability to adapt to Sunken Halifax, as well as concerns about how freemium (the metal) would react with water. Seraph used its abilities to hover above the water as much and as long as it could. Finally, after they got tired of the separation from their teammates, it plunged into the water in a very unscientific manner and discovered that they could breathe underwater so long as its guitar was nearby.

Seraph happily went about befriending the Canada Moist Talkers, in particular Mueller and fellow punk rocker Randy Dennis. The trio and various other Moist Talkers members have had a number of bands, most of which are now defunct. Even following its transition to the shadows and Mueller’s transfer to Yellowstone, Seraph joyfully continued making music in Canada.

Fan Works

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  by @starfauna

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  Player card by @MaybeAMako

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  by @MaybeAMako

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  by @MaybeAMako

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  by @MaybeAMako

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  by @MaybeAMako

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  Freemium Seraph Action Buddy Lift Merch by Edspear

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  Art by @unhenge

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