Alston Cerveza

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Revision as of 18:06, 12 October 2020 by Joco4joco (talk | contribs) (updated backstory to unify bring pies and moist talker backstories)

Alston Cerveza is a lineup player for the Canada Moist Talkers. Cerveza has been with the team since Season 6, Day 82 after replacing Hobbs Cain due to Feedback. Cerveza was formerly a batter for the Philly Pies, starting on Season 6, Day 21 following the incineration of Forrest Bookbaby.

Official League Records

Cerveza currently has no official records in the league record books.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Before Blaseball

A true gentleman, Alston Cerveza struck a dapper figure with his luscious mustache, elegant top hat, and signature beer bottle cravat. He is always accompanied by his pet ferret Hops, who has his own matching miniature top hat and mustache. When this pair of rabblerousing men of leisure find themselves in a particularly tough spot they often stroke their mustaches in synch as they plan out their next move. Alston’s clothes are always impeccably tailored with nary a spot on them.


Alston is the heir to the Sir Veza Brewing Company. Alston lost his parents at a young age when they perished in a mysterious fire at the Sir Veza Brewery. Rumor has it the fire was started by the Llynglyn brewing company, a criminal front operating out of Pennsylvania Welsh Country. The Llynglyn company wants to get their hands on the secret recipe for Sir Veza beer – a remarkable brew that is the key ingredient in enacting Enhanced Party Time. The only copy of the recipe is tattooed on Alston’s back.

Ever since the fire Alston and Hops have been on the run from the Llynglyn agents. Their days were full of near misses in Budapest hotels, fisticuffs on top of trains, and car chases through the streets of center city. Through a mix of skill, luck, and guile the ferrety gentleman and gentlemanly ferret have always managed to stay one step of their dastardly foes.

Career

During Season 6, Alston's enemies at the Llynglyn brewing company finally got the better of him, drowning him in a vat of his own signature brew at one of the Sir Veza breweries. At the same exact moment Forrest Bookbaby was incinerated by a rogue umpire and a replacement player was required so the Philly Pies could continue the season. Perhaps due to the violent nature of his death, perhaps because of the potent Ser Veza beer he was killed in, Alston hatched from the Field of Eggs incomplete. Translucent skin, with facial features not fully developed, and missing his signature mustache entirely, Alston the blaseball player is a far cry from his dapper origins.

What isn't incomplete were his blaseball skills. Alston has been a formidible batter for both his short career with the Pies and since joining the Moist Talkers. His memories of his prior life are patchy, although he is plagued by dreams of his violent death. He is completely unaware that his back is tattooed with the recipe for Sir Veza beer as he has never seen his own back.

After the Season 9 blessings, Alston has experienced numerous physiological changes, such as light receptive cells on all parts of his epidermis. It is clear that he is no longer developing into the human man he would have become had his hatching gone without incident. He is growing into something else entirely.

Gallery