Sir Veza Brewing Company

From Blaseball Wiki

The Sir Veza Brewing Company was a Philadelphia Brewery renowned for its secret family beer that was the key ingredient in enabling Enhanced Party Time. It was founded by Alston Cerveza Sr. The current heir to the company, Alston Cerveza Jr., is a hitter for the Moist Talkers.

Company History

Alston Cerveza Sr. was originally a revenant formed from the hungry ghost of an unknown murdered brewery worker that merged with the vat of lager into which their body was thrown. They made their way to Boston as part of a shipment of kegs to be tapped in the Model Cafe, a bar of note in Alston Village. When those kegs were tapped, the revenant erupted in a cascade of foam and rage, and began to lay waste to the bar and it's customers. Luckily, this drinkery was the meeting place of the Knights of Alston, a motorcycle gang of occult weirdoes, burnouts, and dreamers that protect the town of Alston, MA from those who would do her harm.

After a lengthy battle during which many pints were sunk, Alston Sr. was weakened through the efforts of the Knights, their substance drank away bit by bit until they could be imprisoned in a beer bottle. For decades, they laid sleeping within their prison, memories of their past drifting away one by one like carbonation bubbles. Eventually all that remained of their self-identity was the name of those who had bottled them, and the last word in the incantation spoken by Rudolph Rocker, head of the Knights that was used to trap them - "Cerveza."

The bottle, along with other mystical artifacts, accompanied the Knights on their travels for a time, before being mistakenly swapped for a bottle of actual beer to be snuck into a blaseball game between the Wild Wings and the Philly Pies. When the bottle was cracked, Alston Sr. rushed out, gathering to themself the sudsy substance of the many beers of the crowd, ready to wreak their vengeance - until they saw the game below them. Something about the majesty of Blaseball, the fiery eyes of the umpires among the darkness of the solar eclipse, the crack of the bats and the spirit of the teams soothed their tormented soul.

Alston Sr realized that the Philadelphia team needed a suitable beverage to accompany their delicious Pies. Alston Sr. decided that they would support their team through the creation of such a beverage, and, their rage quelled, they found aid in the very Knights who imprisoned them. Working together, the refreshing revenant and the Knights found the very brewery in which they had died, and through a combination of supernatural tort law for unsafe working conditions and  imaginatively-applied motorcycle gang intimidation, seized control of the company. In honor of their enemies cum allies, the brewery was renamed the Sir Veza brewing company.

The newly created Sir Veza Brewing company bent it's efforts to reproducing the taste of the beer of which Alston Sr was composed. A Knight had accidentally gotten some of it in his mouth during a lengthy legal session and remarked that it tasted like "the essence of blaseball," being composed of the combination of the various beers and backwash of blaseball fans. The other Knights had all tried a sip and agreed, "it tastes like rooting from the stands." After a lengthy experimental process, the newly crafted Sir Veza Cerveza was created, and became an instant hit with blaseball fans in the greater Philadelphia area.

Alston Sr. settled into a life of brewing, betting and blaseball, and the Sir Veza brewery flourished. Through means ill-understood, they sired a child, Alston Cerveza Jr., who, living the life of luxury that only the son of a moderately-succesful brewery owner can, adopted a ferret and a gyrocopter and began living a life of high adventure. After running the brewery for twenty years, Alston Cerveza Sr. tragically evaporated in the mysterious fire that destroyed his brewery. Upon the eve of Alston Jr's swap to the Moist Talkers, a message in fog appeared on all of the brewery windows, "Nothing Moistens the Mouth like a Cerveza"