Canada Moist Talkers

The Canada Moist Talkers are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of the ILB since Season 1.

Roster

Lineup

Lachlan Shelton ★
Ziwa Mueller ★★½
Elijah Bates ★★★
Simon Haley ★
Joe Voorhees ★★
Jesús Koch ★★★
Eugenia Garbage ★★★
Richmond Harrison ½
Hobbs Cain ★★

Pitchers

PolkaDot Patterson ★★★★★
Greer Lott ★½
Jenkins Good ★★★½
Ortiz Morse ½
Mooney Doctor ★★½

Select Tlopps cards can be found here

Former Players

Blessings and Trades

For players who left the team via a method other than incineration, see Former Canada Moist Talkers Players

Incinerations

Trevino Merritt (Incinerated Season 2, Day 72)
Kennedy Alstott (Incinerated Season 3, Day 19)
Tyler Violet (Incinerated Season 3, Day 44)

Season Results

In Season 1 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers finished third in the Chaotic Evil Division, missing the playoffs by only two games.

In Season 2 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-0 (Best of 5).
In Season 3 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-2 (Best of 5).

Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History

The Moist Talker's home stadium is Gleek Arena in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."

The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.

Staff

Coaching

Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle

Mascots

Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.

Chants

The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.

Talk Spit, Get Hits
One Mouth, a lotta spit

For player-specific chants, see Chants.

Fan Art

The Current 2020 Jersey Design for the Moist Talkers.Created by: @spiral_joe / @longhairQ

Fan Art Gallery

Lineup by avery_helm.

Logo by Cobaltcakes.

Notable Events

In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.