Difference between revisions of "Winnie Hess"

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{{Player
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{{NewAutomatedPlayer
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|team=[[Kansas City Breath Mints]]
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| image1=Winnie Hess.png
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| species=Unknown
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| caption1 = Art by {{Twitter|name=ghostwriterish}}
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| status=Active
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| dates=Jul 20, 2020–present
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| batting={{Star Rating|4.5}}
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| former=[[Baltimore Crabs]], [[Rising Stars]], [[Kansas City Breath Mints]]
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| pitching={{Star Rating|3.5}}
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| modifications={{Modif|siphon}}
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| baserunning={{Star Rating|4.5}}
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| evolution=Base
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| defense={{Star Rating|3.5}}
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| species=Unknown
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| item=None
 
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| armor=None
 
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| evolution=Base  
 
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| ritual=Meditation
 
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| coffee=Cold Brew
 
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| blood=AA
 
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| fate=64
 
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| soulscream=EEEUXEEEUXEIOAEAIOAEAIEHAOXEHAOXEAIAAOAIAAOAIEAAHIEAAHIIEIIIIEIIIIAEAIUAEAIUAIAAIAIAAIAI
 
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|image1=[[Winnie Hess.png]]
 
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|caption1 = Art by [https://twitter.com/ghostwriterish @ghostwriterish]
 
 
| uuid =f2a27a7e-bf04-4d31-86f5-16bfa3addbe7
 
| uuid =f2a27a7e-bf04-4d31-86f5-16bfa3addbe7
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<!-- Reports: Biographical information -->
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| pronouns=She/her
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| hof_induction=Week 16
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| hof_vote=76.40%
 
}}
 
}}
 +
'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a player for the [[Ohio Worms]], and has been with the team since [[Fall Ball]]. Hess has played for the [[Baltimore Crabs]], for the [[Rising Stars]] during the [[ILB Semi-Centennial]], and for the [[Kansas City Breath Mints]].
  
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'''Winnie Hess''' is a pitcher for the [[Kansas City Breath Mints]]. Hess has been with the Breath Mints since the end of [[Season One]]. Hess previously pitched for the [[Baltimore Crabs]]. She has been said to resemble a humanoid horse. 
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==Official League Records==
 +
Hess joined the [[ILB]] as a pitcher for the [[Baltimore Crabs]] with {{BetaSeason|1|the Return of Blaseball}}.
  
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== Official League Records ==
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Hess was traded to the [[Kansas City Breath Mints]] in exchange for [[PolkaDot Patterson]] during the {{BetaSeason|1#Election_results|@ elections}} via the Crabs '''{{BetaSeason|1#Election Results|Steal Best Pitcher}}''' blessing. Hess also received a '''{{BetaSeason|1#Election_Results|Mysterious Enhancement}}''' blessing, resulting in a {{Star Change|0|2.5}} pitching improvement.
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At the end of Season One, Hess came to the Breath Mints after the Crabs received the [[Season 1#Election Results|"Steal Best Pitcher"]] Blessing and stole [[PolkaDot Patterson]]. Upon arriving in Kansas City, Hess jumped from a zero star pitcher to a two and a half star pitcher after receiving the [[Season 1#Election_Results|"Mysterious Enhancement"]] blessing.
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On {{BetaSeason|8}}, Day 58, Hess's pitching ability was siphoned by [[Seattle Garages]] pitcher [[Ron Monstera]] in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather.
 +
 
 +
During the {{BetaSeason|9#Election Results|@ election}}, Hess received the {{ModLink|Siphon}} modification due to the passing of the '''Forecast: Blooddrain''' decree.
 +
 
 +
On {{BetaSeason|10}}, Day 10, Hess siphoned some of [[Yellowstone Magic]] lineup player [[Wyatt Glover]]'s pitching ability in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather.
 +
 
 +
During the [[Coffee Cup]], Hess played for the [[Cold Brew Crew]] as a pitcher.
 +
 
 +
On {{BetaSeason|15}}, Day 90, Hess siphoned some of [[Yellowstone Magic]] lineup player [[Oscar Dollie]]'s pitching ability in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather.
 +
 
 +
On {{BetaSeason|20}}, Day 107, Hess siphoned some of [[Core Mechanics]] lineup player [[Gia Holbrook]]'s defensive ability in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather.
 +
 
 +
Over the course of {{BetaSeason|23}}, Hess entered and exited the Breath Mints' [[Shadows]] 2 times as a result of [[Kansas City FreshDome]] {{ModLink|Fax Machine}} events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.
 +
 
 +
On {{BetaSeason|23}}, Day 99, Hess was named an [[Idols#Season_23|MVP]] and gained the {{ModLink|Ego+}} modification.
 +
 
 +
During the [[ILB Semi-Centennial]], Hess played for the [[Rising Stars]]. Hess then returned to the Breath Mints as a pitcher.
 +
 
 +
During the {{BetaSeason|23#Election Results|@ election}},  Hess became a lineup player as a result of the '''{{BetaSeason|23#Blessings|@: Set the Table}}''' blessing.
 +
 
 +
During the December 30, 2022 [[Fall Ball]], Hess fell to the [[Ohio Worms]].
 +
 
 +
===Notable Records===
 +
On {{BetaSeason|17}}, Day 83, Hess pitched their first [[perfect game]], with 9 strikeouts in 27 outs versus the [[Seattle Garages]]. This was the first franchise perfect game for the [[Kansas City Breath Mints]].
 +
 
 +
On {{BetaSeason|18}}, Day 15, Hess pitched their second perfect game, the league’s first extra-innings perfect game, with 8 strikeouts in 30 outs versus the [[New York Millennials]].
 +
 
 +
On {{BetaSeason|22}}, Day 113, Hess pitched their third perfect game, the first ever perfect game to take place during the [[Internet Series]], with 16 strikeouts in 27 outs versus the [[Tokyo Lift]].
  
 
{{Community Lore}}
 
{{Community Lore}}
  
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== History ==
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==History==
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Hess is known as one of the crowd favorites among Mints' fans. Energy scouters have confirmed she has exactly one horsepower. After the end of Season Four, all of the Breath Mints' pitchers benefitted from the Non-Dominant Arms blessing, which quickly made her one of the most reliable and skilled pitchers in the league. The seasons that followed came to be known among Mints' fans as "The Horse Era."
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Hess is known as one of the crowd favorites among Mints fans. Energy scouters have confirmed she has exactly one horsepower. After the end of {{BetaSeason|4}}, all of the Breath Mints' pitchers benefitted from the Non-Dominant Arms blessing, which quickly made her one of the most reliable and skilled pitchers in the league. The seasons that followed came to be known among Mints fans as "The Horse Era."
  
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Previously, it was thought that her easily being spooked by loud and sudden noises was due to her being a horse. It is said that her greatest rival is the plastic bag. However, she has come out on the matter saying that the horse excuse is, in fact, not true, and she has been diagnosed with ADHD, and a hypersensitivity to sound. Despite this (or maybe because of it), she remains the Breath Mints' best pitcher.  
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Previously, it was thought that her easily being spooked by loud and sudden noises was due to her being a humanoid [[horse]]. It is said that her greatest rival is the plastic bag. However, she has come out on the matter saying that the horse excuse is, in fact, not true, and she has been diagnosed with ADHD, and a hypersensitivity to sound. Despite this (or maybe because of it), she remains the Breath Mints' best pitcher.  
  
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She has been public about her ADHD helping her Blaseball career, even going so far as to say, "you know what ''good'' things come out of having hyperfixations in this game? I never stop working to be a better pitcher."
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She has been public about her ADHD helping her Blaseball career, even going so far as to say, "You know what ''good'' things come out of having hyperfixations in this game? I never stop working to be a better pitcher."
  
 
Winnie prefers "Dark Horse" for her trot-up music.  
 
Winnie prefers "Dark Horse" for her trot-up music.  
  
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== In Literature ==
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==In Literature==
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Baltimore Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Hess:
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Baltimore Crabs Poet Laureate [[Runolfio Peeper]] wrote the following poem about Hess:
  
 
<blockquote><poem>Dear Winnie Hess has left our park
 
<blockquote><poem>Dear Winnie Hess has left our park
 
While here, she made near zero mark
 
While here, she made near zero mark
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In truth for some she’s been forgot
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In truth for some she's been forgot
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‘Cept as the trade for Polkadot
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'Cept as the trade for Polkadot
  
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But since she left she’s really grown
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But since she left she's really grown
 
And has for Kansas City shown
 
And has for Kansas City shown
 
Herself a workhorse in rotation
 
Herself a workhorse in rotation
Line 52: Line 76:
 
That if again we got to choose
 
That if again we got to choose
 
Whether to trade Winnie away
 
Whether to trade Winnie away
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It’s very clear we’d answer “nay!”</poem></blockquote>
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It's very clear we'd answer "nay!"</poem></blockquote>
 +
 
 +
==Chants==
 +
 
 +
*Winnie, you better win! EEEEEEEEEE
 +
*Don't mess with the Hess!
 +
*Winnie take that Innie!
 +
*HORSEPOWER
 +
*Bloody Mare-y, Bloody Mare-y, Bloody Mare-y!
 +
*Winnie you don’t even have to [[Blooddrain|gurgie]] just Kill
 +
 
 +
==Fan Works==
  
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== Fan Art ==
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===Audio===
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<gallery>
 
  
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File:Winnie Hess.png
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*[https://kansascitybreathmints.bandcamp.com/track/winning-best Winning Best] by '''[https://hellowhirled.bandcamp.com/ Hello Whirled]''' ('''dampsocks008''' on Discord)
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*[https://www.blaseball.wiki/w/File:Winnie_Hess_(Learns_To_Party).mp3 Winnie Hess (Learns To Party)] by [https://ian.mccowan.space/ Ian McCowan] ('''valrus''' on Discord)
  
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[[File:Winnie Hess (Learns To Party).mp3|A song about Winnie Hess's Discipline-era time on the Kansas City Breath Mints, roughly seasons 2 through 8.]]
 +
 +
=== Gallery ===
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<gallery widths="185">
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File:82WinnieHess.png|Mini-Blaseballer by {{Twitter|name=HetreaSky}}
 +
File:WinnieCard trivialad.jpg|Winnie playing card by '''[https://twitter.com/trivia_lad @trivia_lad]'''
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File:Winnie judicorn.jpg|Winnie Hess by '''[https://twitter.com/lavendelzahne/status/1316637836892925954?s=20 @lavendelzahne]'''
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File:Winnie fancy.png|Winnie Hess by '''[https://twitter.com/Fancymancer/status/1309900546912837632?s=20 @Fancymancer]'''
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File:ColdBrewCaptains eros.jpg|Cold Brew Crew captains Winnie and [[Nerd Pacheco|Nerd]] by '''[https://twitter.com/thecoolereros/status/1327826555901337601?s=20 @thecoolereros]'''
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File:Winnie goblin.png|Winnie Hess by '''[https://twitter.com/glassgoblin/status/1358823268095037442 @glassgoblin]'''
 +
File:Winnie gaymaul.png|Winnie Hess by [https://twitter.com/gaymaul/status/1446209848836870149 '''@gaymaul''']
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File:Honse.jpg|Blood for the Blood Horse by '''[https://twitter.com/Nestlenightmare Numbersninja]'''
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File:Bloodhorse gaymaul.png|Winnie Hess by '''[https://twitter.com/gaymaul/status/1522235887102447616?s=20&t=ME4c9L0VubEqVMlhZd0_qA @gaymaul]'''
 
</gallery>
 
</gallery>
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[[Category:Players]]
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[[Category:Kansas City Breath Mints]]
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{{AutomatedPlayerNav|f2a27a7e-bf04-4d31-86f5-16bfa3addbe7|worms}}
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[[Category:Former Baltimore Crabs Players]]
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|crabs|rising stars|mints}}
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[[Category:Pitchers]]
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[[Category:Original Players]]
 
[[Category:Nonhuman Players]]
 
[[Category:Nonhuman Players]]
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{{TeamNavSelector|mints}}
 
 
[[Category:Nominative Determinism]]
 
[[Category:Nominative Determinism]]
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[[Category:Cold Brew Crew]]
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[[Category:Hall Of Fame Inductees]]
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[[Category:Hall Of Fame Inductees For Discipline or Expansion Era]]

Latest revision as of 04:23, 18 January 2023

Winnie Hess is a player for the Ohio Worms, and has been with the team since Fall Ball. Hess has played for the Baltimore Crabs, for the Rising Stars during the ILB Semi-Centennial, and for the Kansas City Breath Mints.

Official League Records

Hess joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs with the Return of Blaseball.

Hess was traded to the Kansas City Breath Mints in exchange for PolkaDot Patterson during the Season β1 elections via the Crabs Steal Best Pitcher blessing. Hess also received a Mysterious Enhancement blessing, resulting in a 0 → 2.5 pitching improvement.

On Season β8, Day 58, Hess's pitching ability was siphoned by Seattle Garages pitcher Ron Monstera in a game with Blooddrain weather.

During the Season β9 election, Hess received the Siphon modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Blooddrain decree.

On Season β10, Day 10, Hess siphoned some of Yellowstone Magic lineup player Wyatt Glover's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

During the Coffee Cup, Hess played for the Cold Brew Crew as a pitcher.

On Season β15, Day 90, Hess siphoned some of Yellowstone Magic lineup player Oscar Dollie's pitching ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

On Season β20, Day 107, Hess siphoned some of Core Mechanics lineup player Gia Holbrook's defensive ability in a game with Blooddrain weather.

Over the course of Season β23, Hess entered and exited the Breath Mints' Shadows 2 times as a result of Kansas City FreshDome Fax Machine events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.

On Season β23, Day 99, Hess was named an MVP and gained the Ego+ modification.

During the ILB Semi-Centennial, Hess played for the Rising Stars. Hess then returned to the Breath Mints as a pitcher.

During the Season β23 election, Hess became a lineup player as a result of the Season β23: Set the Table blessing.

During the December 30, 2022 Fall Ball, Hess fell to the Ohio Worms.

Notable Records

On Season β17, Day 83, Hess pitched their first perfect game, with 9 strikeouts in 27 outs versus the Seattle Garages. This was the first franchise perfect game for the Kansas City Breath Mints.

On Season β18, Day 15, Hess pitched their second perfect game, the league’s first extra-innings perfect game, with 8 strikeouts in 30 outs versus the New York Millennials.

On Season β22, Day 113, Hess pitched their third perfect game, the first ever perfect game to take place during the Internet Series, with 16 strikeouts in 27 outs versus the Tokyo Lift.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Hess is known as one of the crowd favorites among Mints fans. Energy scouters have confirmed she has exactly one horsepower. After the end of Season β4, all of the Breath Mints' pitchers benefitted from the Non-Dominant Arms blessing, which quickly made her one of the most reliable and skilled pitchers in the league. The seasons that followed came to be known among Mints fans as "The Horse Era."

Previously, it was thought that her easily being spooked by loud and sudden noises was due to her being a humanoid horse. It is said that her greatest rival is the plastic bag. However, she has come out on the matter saying that the horse excuse is, in fact, not true, and she has been diagnosed with ADHD, and a hypersensitivity to sound. Despite this (or maybe because of it), she remains the Breath Mints' best pitcher.

She has been public about her ADHD helping her Blaseball career, even going so far as to say, "You know what good things come out of having hyperfixations in this game? I never stop working to be a better pitcher."

Winnie prefers "Dark Horse" for her trot-up music.

In Literature

Baltimore Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Hess:

Dear Winnie Hess has left our park
While here, she made near zero mark
In truth for some she's been forgot
'Cept as the trade for Polkadot

But since she left she's really grown
And has for Kansas City shown
Herself a workhorse in rotation
Fueled by hay and meditation.

And so in hindsight I now muse
That if again we got to choose
Whether to trade Winnie away
It's very clear we'd answer "nay!"

Chants

  • Winnie, you better win! EEEEEEEEEE
  • Don't mess with the Hess!
  • Winnie take that Innie!
  • HORSEPOWER
  • Bloody Mare-y, Bloody Mare-y, Bloody Mare-y!
  • Winnie you don’t even have to gurgie just Kill

Fan Works

Audio

Gallery


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