My Roomie Ruslan

My Roomie Ruslan
Genre	Sitcom Documentary
Created by	Eduardo Woodman
Starring	Ruslan Greatness Morrow Wilson
No. of Seasons	4
No. of Episodes	48

My Roomie Ruslan is a contemporary blaseball sitcom/documentary TV show centered around former Philly Pies player Morrow Wilson and their unwanted roommate Ruslan Greatness. The show has proven to be a critical and commercial success, despite Wilson’s repeated attempts to have it cancelled.

History

After a particularly long game during the second season, Philly Pies relief fielder Morrow Wilson returned to their room at the Powelton Village commune to discover fellow Pies pitcher Ruslan Greatness asleep on their couch. Over the next several days Wilson tried repeatedly to get the 7ft bodybuilder to vacate their room but Greatness refused, repeatedly stating that “this home now.”

During practice Wilson would complain to their other teammates about all the annoying habits, shenanigans, and misadventures their unwanted roommate dragged them into. Pies batter Eduardo Woodman decided to stay over at Wilson’s place to see if things were as wild as they claimed. “That night I was exposed to previously unseen levels of comic zaniness,” Woodman later recalled. “It was crystalized sitcom wackiness.”

Using iPhone footage captured from his night at Wilson’s, Woodman created a pilot for My Roomie Wilson and showed it to several of his Hollywood contacts. Almost immediately the show was picked up for six seasons. Cameras were installed in Wilson’s room and a crew was hired to follow both them and Greatness around, filming at all times.

Reception

My Roomie Ruslan premiered to critical acclaim, with viewers praising it for its absurdist humor, lovable characters, and funny buff dudes. Despite their newfound fame, Wilson did not appreciate being filmed 24/7. They sued Woodman and the producers to have My Roomie Ruslan taken off the air. However, after viewing an episode of the show (S2 Ep 9: Ruslan Takes Manhattan) the judge ruled that Wilson had to “make more of this [expletive] comedy gold and inject it into my veins!”

Wilson continues to fight to have the show cancelled and for Greatness to move out of their room. “Please,” pleaded Wilson as they accepted the Emmy for best actor in a comedy. “I just want my couch back.” The only response was thunderous applause.

Notable Episodes

• S1 Ep 5: Double Booked. Today’s the day Morrow will host their monthly Magical Literature Book Club but Ruslan has scheduled his Anvil Lifting Club to meet at the same time! Can the two combine their love of books and weight-lifting so everyone wins? This episode features the first use of Ruslan’s signature catchphrase “Please forgiving Ruslan.”
• S2 EP 10: Bad Day at Bethany Beach. Morrow goes to the beach on a date, only to find Ruslan digging up the place looking for a cache of fitness DVDs he buried there in XX95. Greatness’s swimsuit attire in this episode caused the show to be banned in three countries.
• S3 EP 4: Paging Dr. Ruslan. When Morrow is knocked out with the flu it’s up to certified nutritionist Ruslan Greatness to nurse him back to health. Greatness’ rendition of “Conshohocken Lullaby” in this episode, would go on to win a Grammy for best heavy metal single.
• S3 Ep 12: For Whom the Liberty Bell Tolls. With the last Onslaught Opal placed into the crucible, the seal is broken and Philladeltrix starts to transform the land into a phantasmagoria of crust and cheesesteaks. With the rest of the team trapped in the Hellmouth, it’s up to Morrow and Ruslan to team up and save the city.
• S4 Ep 1: No Place Like Home. Morrow is excited to finally move into a new city away from Ruslan after Feedback (and definitely not their cover being blown) causes them to switch teams to the Houston Spies. However it turns out that their new team wants them to keep living in Powelton Village "due to their current location's strategic and comedic value." Ruslan makes some homemade rocket skies to speed up his roommates new multi-state commute while Morrow just stares blankly into the distance.
• S6 Ep 10: Ruslan's Rager. With Mickey Woods incinerated, Morrow can actually complete his mission to steal the Pies DNA. However the only time they have access to the entire Pies lineup is during the massive party Ruslan is throwing to celebrate a successful tank season. The moves featured on this episode lead to Ruslan being asked to compete on several reality dance shows, to which he responded "No reality show. Only sitcom."

• S8 Ep 1: Horsing Around. Summers Pony's first episode on the show. The addition of pony was looked at skeptically by both critics, who think late cast additions to sitcoms are almost always shark jumps, and by Wilson, who was unsure if the musclebound horse could even fit through the door. However scenes of Ruslan pushing the horse on skates around the city soon charmed even the harshest of critics and Pony would go on to win and eat the emmy for best supporting actor in a comedy series"
  

My Roomie Ruslan: The Mlovie

During the Siesta following Blaseball season 8, My Roomie Ruslan was adapted into a feature film.  Despite being completely unscripted, the film managed to contain a coherent plot, large amounts of celebrity cameos and a heartwarming message about friendship. Original theatrical run time is 1 hour and 45 minutes but a 168 hour directors cut is available on blu-ray. Director Eduardo Woodman is quoted as saying. “Listen I felt bad cutting any of it. Ruslan even sleeps hilariously”.  The film would go on to win several awards, but be snubbed at the Olscars because they hate comedies.

The plot of the film consists of a road trip taken by Greatness and Wilson to retrieve former housemate and pies player Summers Pony, who had been feedback swapped to the Seattle Garages during the season 8 postseason. Due to Ruslan’s broken GPS, the two are led through nearly every other stadium in Blaseball, including those clearly not between Philly and Seattle. They even end up briefly in The Hall of Flame, where former pies batter Mickey Woods gives perhaps one of the best performances of the film. Along the way they are pursued by the Turnip crime family, who are enraged that Wilson is making films without their permission.  The two eventually reach Seattle,and Ruslan realizes that Summer’s Pony is perfectly happy where he is and that Wilson had been his best friend all along. He then saves Wilson from the Turnips and the film ends with the two giving each other a friendly hug. Morrow would go on to say that the hug was only meant to thank Ruslan for saving his life, not as an endorsement of them being friends.