Eduardo Woodman

From Blaseball Wiki

Eduardo Woodman was a lineup player for the Philly Pies, and was with the team from Season β3, Day 5 until Fall Ball. Woodman briefly played for the Hawai'i Fridays on Season β8, Day 90, as the result of experiencing two Feedback events in the same game.

Official League Records

Woodman joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Philly Pies on Season β3, Day 5 after the incineration of Juan Rangel.

On Season β3, Day 8, Woodman swallowed a stray peanut and had a yummy reaction reaction, resulting in a combined 8.7 12.8 stat increase.

During the Season β5 election, Woodman received a combined 12.8 12.2 stat decrease as a result of the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Bad Neighbors blessing.

On Season β6, Day 53, Woodman's pitching ability was siphoned by Mexico City Wild Wings pitcher Rafael Davids in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it 1.9 1.4 .

On Season β8, Day 90, in a game against the Hawai'i Fridays, the Flickering Woodman was exchanged with Alyssa Harrell due to Feedback. The two were exchanged back to their original teams two innings later.

During the Coffee Cup, Woodman played for FWXBC as a lineup player.

During the Season β17 elections, Woodman's batting increased from 4.2 5.5 and pitching decreased 1.9 1.6 as a result of the Pies' Transfuse will.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Early Life

Pre-Blaseball Career

Before starting his career in blaseball, Eduardo Woodman acted in a number of films. Due to his metallic nature and the similarity of his name to actor Ed Wood, he was pigeonholed into terrible B-movies such as “Night of the Necro-Nine”. His last film before coming to baseball was a Paul Bunyan bio-pic, which led many fans to assume that Woodman was a real lumberjack and thus the emergence of chants like “chop chop”

Before joining the pies Woodman played for the Chattanooga Moon Pies. While there he earned the nickname “woodman” for his deep love of Birch Beer, which he would often enjoy after games. The fact that woodman was his actual last name apparently was not considered.

Blaseball Career.

Woodman joined the Pies in season 3. He was initially a very excited rookie, happy to make his mark on the team. However, as Woodman replaced former captain Juan Rangel, the team needed a new captain. Having seen the other members of the team, Woodman volunteered for the position.  Within 2 games he had already become a grizzled old timer and dreamed of being able to win one last championship before he retired. The feeling has persisted over the many seasons he has been with the Pies and won nothing.

Despite his exasperation with his teammates and position, Woodman loves his city and his teammates.  His leadership is appreciated by the team, especially fellow thespian Lang Richardson who looks to Woodman as a mentor. While this relationship causes Woodman no end of trouble, it is believed to be responsible for Lang out performing expectations season after season.  Woodman also has never missed a whole game of play for the pies.  He came close when he went to check out merch in Hawaii, which was interpreted as a team swap and led to the Fridays sending over Alyssa Harrell.  He was also swept away in the great elsewhering. In both cases he returned to the pies before the end of the game, through a second feedback swap from the Fridays and sheer force of will respectively.  When asked what he most hated about the team, he responded that in truth the only things he hated were spotted lantern flies and the fact that people kept asking him about the white cake that fans would spin after he hit runs. Woodman doesn't understand why they do this more than anybody else.

Directing Career

While playing with the Pies, Woodman heard stories from his fellow player Morrow Wilson about the various escapades their roommate Ruslan Greatness had dragged them into. Woodman stayed overnight with Wilson and Greatness where he found their living situation "an untapped mine of comedy gold." Using iPhone footage of the night, Woodman created the pilot for the sitcom/documentary My Roomie Ruslan. The show was picked up for 9 seasons and premiered to critical and commercial success. Woodman served as a producer and a director throughout its run. Despite this the relationship between Woodman and Wilson soured. Wilson tried to get the show cancelled as filming required them to be followed by a camera crew 24/7, but only succeeded in escaping the show themselves with the help of the Houston Spies .

Woodman also ended up directing My Roomie Ruslan the Mlovie after Ruslan asked to borrow his car for a trip to Seattle. Woodman credits the show with Ruslan’s ability to go from the Pie’s worst pitcher to the team's second star, and that that is worth more than the vast number of awards he won for the show.  After Morrow was rescued from the sitcom, Eduardo Woodman moved on to other projects, including the film “Top Dog'' starring Beasley Day, which was simultaneously voted best and worst movie ever.