Lang Richardson

Lang Richardson
Art by @likedrotten
Basic Information
Team	Philly Pies
Former Team(s)	Seattle Garages
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Running the bases backwards
Coffee Style	Anything
Blood Type	Psychic
Fate	15
Soulscream	IIEIUIIEIUIXAAUAXAAUAXUHAEAUHAEAUIIAIEIIAIEIAXAAHAXAAHAXEIAXXEIAXX
Biographical Details
Nickname(s)	LANG GANG

Lang Richardson is a batter for the Philly Pies. Richardson has been with the team since Season 8, Day 21, after Feedback caused them to swap teams with former Pies player Nolanestophia Patterson. Richardson had previously been with the Seattle Garages since Season 1.

Official League Records

On Season 6, Day 26, Richardson siphoned some of Yellowstone Magic pitcher Yeong-Ho Garcia's batting ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from to .

On Season 8, Day 21, Richardson joined the Philly Pies after player Nolanestophia Patterson "flicker[ed]" and caused them both to switch teams.

Personal Life

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Langford Harvey "Lang" Richardson is also a maracas player for the Seattle Garages Elephant Gambit. Richardson is known for his unreliable play in high-leverage situations. One fan has said that Richardson "lives for one thing, and that's making every time he's at bat the most dramatic thing there could be." One anonymous Blaseball writer once said of Richardson, "for better or worse, he turns every at-bat into an adventure."

Lang's at-bats typically eschew three act structure, which he has described as rote and limiting. He has occasionally left what he describes as "Chekov's Blat" sitting just outside the batter's box before stepping to the plate. He has never touched it except to retrieve it, even when scoring on a tightly-contested play.

Richardson excelled in splorts at the home-school level, captaining the bloxing, water plolo and Modern Plentathlon teams. Early in Season 3 he returned to his alma mater to deliver the commencement speech to that year's departing class, his sister Laura. He is also a six-time winner of the Garages' traditional pre-season breath-holding competition, a talent he is yet to use to his on-field advantage.

Rumors that Richardson is a vampire, on the grounds that even a thespian wouldn't own that many capes, have been roundly dismissed.

Richardson's fans refer to themselves as the Lang Gang.

During Season 8, Lang took his feedback swap to the Philly Pies as an opportunity to put on the tear-jerking performance of a lifetime. To express his sorrow at leaving, Lang went went around the field to each of his former Garages teammates and gave a personalized deathbed-style monologue about what they meant to him. This held up the game for several hours.

Lang was recruited to the Pies by team sponsor Taskykake, who thought that Lang’s theatrical stylings would be perfect for their “Krimpets: the snack of existentialism” campaign. Lang immediately began performing in a series of 3 hour commercials that critics say managed to capture both the darkness held deep in the human soul and the crème contained deep in a Krimpet.

Lang once impressed his team by singing the entirety of "Guns and Ships" at full speed with a mouth full of 47 goldfish crackers. Observers called the performance "cacophonous, but understandable" and "kind of weird, like, does he think that makes him cool?"