Jesús Koch

Jesús Koch
Koch (Alternate Reality) as of Season 5, by smorzando
Basic Information
Team	Canada Moist Talkers
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Modifications	AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized.  FireproofPlayer: This Player cannot be incinerated. Team: This Team and the Players on it cannot be incinerated. See also: Glossary.
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	Scorpler's Jacket
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Acoustic guitar
Coffee Style	Light & Sweet
Blood Type	Electric
Fate	84
Soulscream	UEEHEUEEHEUXEAOOXEAOOX
Biographical Details
Pronouns	He/Him, They/Them

Jesús Koch is a lineup player for the Canada Moist Talkers and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Alternate Reality

At the end of Season 4, Koch was affected by the Alternate Reality Decree, resulting in a change in stats.

Scorpler's Jacket

At the end of Season 7, Koch was given Mclaughlin Scorpler's Memorial Fireproof Jacket via the blessing Scorpler's Jacket. The jacket was previously owned (very briefly) by Mclaughlin Scorpler, who received it and immediately lost it during the Season 5 Election. The Jacket makes Koch Fireproof, and thus, immune to incineration.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Nicknames

Koch has been known to give himself several nicknames during events, using his bat as a microphone, which amplifies his voice. He can be heard whispering encouraging mantras into the handle of his bat as he prepares his swings. It is disputed whether Koch realizes we can hear this too. At a charity fundraiser following the Season 2 shutout game against the Hades Tigers, a seven-year old child dared Koch to list every single nickname in chronological order, which they promptly completed on-the-spot.

Nicknames include, but are not limited to: Coach Koch, Truest Jesús't, Koch Got Your Tongue, Loose Jesús, The Jesús'st with the Moistest, Slippy, Other-side, Wetfoot, Dampsock, Nickname King, The Jaden Smith of Blaseball, The Willow Smith of Blaseball, Captain "Cap" Anti-Cap, The Killer Hitter, Kid with a Comet In His Hands, The Anti-Meteorite, They Who Face The Blaseball, Mx. Respect the Receptacle, Clinch Hitter No-Quitter, Jesús-3000, Outkast Stan, Aquaman but Reverse, Kochlear Cavity, Talkin' Chuy, Babe Ruth-But-Hot, The Word, Grandest Slammest.

Alternate Reality Switch

At the end of Season 4, the original Koch was one of the players affected by the ███████ ███████ event and as a result was replaced with another version of themselves from an alternate reality. This individual, hailing from the Frigid Hush, the home team of the Tundra Sector of ██████████████, was significantly different from the original Koch. Whereas Koch's general demeanor was one of extroversion, the Alternate Koch is much more reserved. Additionally, Alternate Koch seems to be consistently haunted by the ghost of their deceased teammate Tyler Violet. It is speculated that this might be due to the absence of Ziwa Mueller in Alternate Koch's original reality but it has not been confirmed.

Scorpler's Jacket

After the events of Ruby Tuesday the Hades Tigers gifted the Moist Talkers Mclaughlin Scorpler’s jacket in solidarity over the losses both teams suffered. Originally, it was  believed that the jacket would be worn by Greer Lott as they had claimed “dibbs” on “any cool stuff” the team received. However, after a team vote it was decided that Koch would receive it. When asked about the bequeathal, Ziwa Mueller stated that “Ever since the swap Jesús has been a bit of an outsider. After all the... stuff that’s happened they never really got a chance to feel welcome so hopefully this helps a bit.”  Despite their initial apprehension, Jesús eventually claimed that the jacket “felt right” despite multiple instances where they had to be treated for arachnid related stings and injuries from lingering traces of Scorpler.

Gallery

• 

  Season 4 card, by @mikeharron

• 

  Season 5 card, by smorzando

• 

  Season 5 card by @Spiral_Joe

• 

  Season 5 Alternate Reality card by @Spiral_Joe

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  Jesus Koch V2

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