Canada Moist Talkers

Canada Moist Talkers
Logo designed by Q Peiffer. Twitter: @longhairQ
Division	Chaotic Evil
Ballpark	Gleek Arena
Home Location	Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Team Slogan	"Spray it, don't say it."
Emoji	🗣
Mascot	The Moist Owlette
Social media	[[1]]

The Canada Moist Talkers are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of the ILB since Season 1. Their home stadium is Gleek Arena—affectionately known by fans as either the Moist Zone or Spittle Park—in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.

Signature Moves

One of the characteristic pitches of the Moist Talkers is the spitball. The characteristic batting methods are the wet noodle, or the soggy Macdonald.

Moist Talker fans refer to stealing bases as a "spit take."

Players

Batters

• Lachlan Shelton
• Ziwa Mueller
• Elijah Bates
• Simon Haley
• Joe Voorhees
• Jesús Koch
• Eugenia Garbage
• Richmond Harrison
• Hobbs Cain

Pitchers

• PolkaDot Patterson
• Greer Lott
• Jenkins Good
• Ortiz Morse
• Mooney Doctor

Former Players

Incinerated

• Trevino Merritt - Incinerated during Game 71 of Season 2, immediately following an argument with a rogue umpire over a bad call on a strikeout.
• Kennedy Alstott - Incinerated by an umpire during Game 19 of Season 3. No reason was given for this, the umpire just thought it'd be funny.
• Tyler Violet - Incinerated by an umpire during Game 44 of Season 3, immediately after hitting a three run home run to tie the game.

Transferred

• Oliver Notarobot - Transferred to the Baltimore Crabs due to the Moist Talkers winning the Defection blessing at the end of season 2.

Staff

Coaching

• Michel_É._Moose_and_Chalky_Hoodwinkle

Mascots

• Season 1 - THE MAW
• Season 2 - Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle
• Season 3 - The Moist Owlette

Season Results

• In Season 1 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers finished third in the Chaotic Evil Division, missing the playoffs by only two games.

• In Season 2 of the IBL, the Moist Talkers were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies.

The Current 2020 Jersey Design for the Moist Talkers.Created by: @spiral_joe / @longhairQ

Fan Art

Lineup by avery_helm.

Logo by Cobaltcakes.

Trivia

• Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."

Notable Events

• In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
• In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.