Yusef Puddles

Yusef Puddles
Art by @raevpet
Basic Information
Team	Philly Pies
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Dates Active	October 13, 2020-Present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Fate	98
Soulscream	EEEIOEEEIOEIUIIIIUIIIIHAOAIHAOAIHIIEXHIIEXHIIIEUAIIEUAIHAEHIHAEHIHUAXIAUAXIAUIIAUEIIAUEI

Yusef Puddles is a lineup player for the Philly Pies, and has been with the team since Season 10, Day 13.

Official League Records

Puddles joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Philly Pies on Season 10, Day 13 after the incineration of Yeong-Ho Benitez.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Yusef, an Arab Jew, was born in Philadelphia to a Muslim father and Jewish mother. They spent much of their time growing up on their computer, where they learned the ancient art of hacking. They operated under the name "xX_puddles_Xx" after their pet duck, Puddles. At the age of 6, they hacked into the New York Nut Exchange (NUTDAQ) and were responsible for the single largest instance of peanut fraud on record. They were brought before a judge, who ruled that they not be allowed access to a computer or other electronic device until their 18th birthday. They spent much of this time playing blaseball.

Yusef attended Temple University on a blaseball scholarship and there resumed their interest in hacking. During one aimless hacking session, they gained entry into the Philly Pies' computer systems and accessed Yeong-Ho Benitez's personal files. Yusef discovered that Benitez was investigating a far-reaching conspiracy that could "bring down all of blaseball." Fearing that Benitez's evidence could be destroyed, Yusef quickly copied all the files onto a floppy disk, which they then stuck inside an air vent with bubble gum.

Yusef became obsessed with Benitez's research and the conspiracy they were pursuing. Yusef rarely slept and their grades began to suffer. Upon hearing that Benitez had been incinerated, Yusef immediately hacked back into the Pies' system, and put themselves in as Yeong-Ho's replacement. They listed their name as "Yusef Puddles" so that their parents would not know about their plan to drop out of college to pursue the truth through a career in blaseball. Using their phreaking skills, Yusef contacted Sam Hinkie and, using their floppy disk copy of Yeong-Ho's data as leverage, convinced him to let them on the team.

Career with the Pies

Puddles' Avatar by @garce

Puddles has quickly become a fan favorite in Philly, owing largely to the dolphin mask they wear whenever they are in public. The mask resembles the dolphin avatar they use as a hacker, which has led some rival hackers to theorize that Puddles themself is a dolphin. The Pies have capitalized on this popularity, with dolphin masks becoming the hottest selling item in the stadium after the new Yeong-Ho memorial pies.

Yusef's Known Cybercrimes

• Hacked all the arcade games at Dave & Busters. Management keeps trying to throw them out but they always find a way to sneak back in.
• Hacked Blaseball fan-fiction websites and deleted stories they deemed "too horny."
• Diverted several shipments of mechanical keyboards to their apartment.
• Installed illegal web-cams in the dolphin tank at the Baltimore aquarium.
• Hacked Tastycake Stadium PA system to play personal selection of Lo-fi beats.
• Hacked the Baltimore aquarium janitor's smart speaker, making it play dolphin noises at night as part of a plot to convince the janitor that he was being haunted by dolphin ghosts.
• Hacked the laptop of the Baltimore aquarium's janitor to repeatedly show web pages which advised that the best way to exorcise dolphin ghosts is to reinstall any webcams that might have been removed from their tank.
• Hacked their court appointed therapist's laptop to access her notes and replace the phrase "troubling dolphin fixation" with "mild and somewhat charming dolphin fixation."
• Hacked into the GPS of Kennedy Loser's car as he driving to Philadelphia to teach a lesson to the punk who was messing with his cousin, the Baltimore aquarium janitor. Yusef redirected Loser to Wilmington, DE.
• Hacked several electronic billboards in Wilmington, DE to display phrases such as "Welcome to Philadelphia" and "Boy! It's a nice day here in Philadelphia."

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