Yusef Puddles

From Blaseball Wiki

Yusef Puddles is a player in the Shadows for the Mexico City Wild Wings, and has been with the team since Season 1, Day 102.

Official League Records

Puddles joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Philly Pies on Season β10, Day 13 after the incineration of Yeong-Ho Benitez.

During the Coffee Cup, Puddles played for Atlético Latte as a pitcher.

During the Season β17 elections, Puddles retreated to the Pies' Shadows in exchange for Peanut Holloway as a result of the Pies' Foreshadow will.

During Season β24 Blaseball was nullified by Black Hole (Black Hole).

On Season 1, Day 34, Puddles fell to the Mexico City Wild Wings during a game in Horizon weather, hitting Fletcher Peck and taking their place on the lineup. During the Season 1 elections, Puddles retreated to the Wild Wings' Shadows in exchange for James Boy as a result of the Shadow Play blessing.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.



Yusef, an Arab Jew, was born in Philadelphia to a Muslim father and Jewish mother. They spent much of their time growing up on their computer, where they learned the ancient art of hacking. They operated under the name "xX_puddles_Xx" after their pet duck, Puddles. At the age of 6, they hacked into the New York Nut Exchange (NUTDAQ) and were responsible for the single largest instance of peanut fraud on record. They were brought before a judge, who ruled that they not be allowed access to a computer or other electronic device until their 18th birthday. They spent much of this time playing blaseball.

Yusef attended Temple University on a blaseball scholarship and there resumed their interest in hacking. During one aimless hacking session, they gained entry into the Philly Pies' computer systems and accessed Yeong-Ho Benitez's personal files. Yusef discovered that Benitez was investigating a far-reaching conspiracy that could "bring down all of blaseball." Fearing that Benitez's evidence could be destroyed, Yusef quickly copied all the files onto a floppy disk, which they then stuck inside an air vent with bubble gum.

Yusef became obsessed with Benitez's research and the conspiracy they were pursuing. Yusef rarely slept and their grades began to suffer. Upon hearing that Benitez had been incinerated, Yusef immediately hacked back into the Pies' system, and put themselves in as Benitez's replacement. They listed their name as "Yusef Puddles" so that their parents would not know about their plan to drop out of college to pursue the truth through a career in blaseball. Using their phreaking skills, Yusef contacted Sam Hinkie and, using their floppy disk copy of Benitez's data as leverage, convinced him to let them on the team.

Personal Life

Yusef is autisic and has a special interest in marine mammals. While they do wear the Dolphin Mask to conceal their identity, it also helps Yusef communicate with others (particularly with the press) as it allows them to avoid eye contact and emoting for others. The team, especially Jaxon and Jode, support this.

A devout practitioner of Reform Judaism, Yusef has spoken with their Rabbi as how best to balance splort and faith, eventually advising Yusef to observe the Shabbos and other holidays as best they can. Yusef and their Rabbi were also instrumental in pushing for the Oven to have Kosher and Halal options on their snacks menu to support Jewish and Islamic flans.

As a hobby, Yusef made their own computer along with their own os called Dolphinsoft. Dolphinsoft is a highly inconvenient and inoperable os good for only three things: Playing solitaire, installing Solitaire, and a video of the Philling doing the hamster dance. Anything else and Dolphinsoft will crash and fail with the error message: 'Why?'.

Career with the Pies

Puddles' Avatar by @garce

Puddles has quickly become a fan favorite in Philly, owing largely to the dolphin mask they wear whenever they are in public. The mask resembles the dolphin avatar they use as a hacker, which has led some rival hackers to theorize that Puddles themself is a dolphin. The Pies have capitalized on this popularity, with dolphin masks becoming the hottest selling item in the stadium after the new Yeong-Ho memorial pies.

On Season 12 Day 33, Yusef slugged a 3 run homer against Shoe Thieves pitcher, Tillman Henderson. Watching the record setting game from their home, Yusef's parents recognized their child from the mask they wore. Rather than be upset, Yusef's parents chose to support them.

A few days later, Yusef discovered that their mom joined the pies as a coach having won the Pie’s baking contest. Much to the team's surprise, Yusef's mom is an unusual but effective coach. While not a former baseball player or connected to the splort outside Yusef, she has an apt talent for motivating (even getting Lang to practice). Yusef's mom often gets involved with encouraging the players' hobbies, particularly since Usurper Violet has taken up baking, and shares embarrassing stories about Yusef whom she affectionately calls Yu-yu. When asked in an interview, Yusef said while they were initially annoyed they are glad to spend more time with their mom.

The Great Elsewhereing

During season 14, Yusef attempted to modify the Pie’s flood protection system in an effort to protect the Pies from devastating floods that hit Beasley and Jode. However, they overlooked a bug that caused it to not work properly. On Day 87, the Great Elsewhering happened as a result of the modifications leaving only Yusef and Jode left on the pies lineup.

Distraught over what they had caused, Yusef vowed to win the game successfully channeling the 'Shadow Strobe Yes Jutsu' they had learned from Yeong-Ho Benitz's notes. Yusef and Jode won the game for the pies, but for as much pride Yusef felt they couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt. As the season progressed, all the pies swept away in the Great Elsewhering returned, all but Jaxon.

On Day 104, Yusef was on the field when it began to flood. They began to run to safety, but stopped part way. Yusef knew that the pies were not going to win the championships without Jaxon, and they wanted atone properly for the Great Elsewhering. Yusef rushed back onto the field, and let themselves be swept to Elsewhere to find Jaxon Buckley. After searching for a day, they finally reunited with Jaxon in an abandoned Waffle house. During their stay over the siesta, Yusef grew closer with Jaxon in the Elsewhere, became good friends with Lift’s player Yusef Fenestrate. Their only communication outside was an image of them playing Doom on Jaxon's cyber arms posted to rleddit/itrunsdoom.

Relationship With Other Players

On the pies, Puddles is good friends with their former classmate Tiana Takahashi and is quite disturbed by the newcomer, Usurper Violet. Most notably, they have become quite close with the pie's resident cowpoke, Jaxon Buckley.

Outside of the Pies, Puddles is part of the Yusef Club formed with the Lift's Yusef Fenestrate. They became friends in the Elsewhere, and now have matching Yusef club jackets that say 'We-Sef'.

Yusef's Known L33T Haxx

  • Hacked all the arcade games at Dave & Busters. Management keeps trying to throw them out but they always find a way to sneak back in.
  • Hacked Blaseball fan-fiction websites and deleted stories they deemed "too horny."
  • Hacked Giant Heart at Franklin Institute and replaced the heart beat with sick beats
  • Diverted several shipments of mechanical keyboards to their apartment.
  • Installed illegal web-cams in the dolphin tank at the Baltimore aquarium.
  • Hacked Tastycake Stadium PA system to play personal selection of Lo-fi beats.
  • Hacked the Baltimore aquarium janitor's smart speaker, making it play dolphin noises at night as part of a plot to convince the janitor that he was being haunted by dolphin ghosts.
  • Hacked the laptop of the Baltimore aquarium's janitor to repeatedly show web pages which advised that the best way to exorcise dolphin ghosts is to reinstall any webcams that might have been removed from their tank.
  • Hacked into the GPS of Kennedy Loser's car as he was driving to Philadelphia to teach a lesson to the punk who was messing with his cousin, the Baltimore aquarium janitor. Yusef redirected Loser to Wilmington, DE.
  • Hacked several electronic billboards in Wilmington, DE to display phrases such as "Welcome to Philadelphia" and "Boy! It's a nice day here in Philadelphia."

Fan Works